SF movies you love to hate - or "why this movie sucks"

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]C'mon, every sf fan has that movie that makes them cringe, perhaps even feel OFFENDED that the movie DARED include itself in the genre of "science fiction."

Cases in point:

Starship Troopers: WORST Heinlein adaptation EVER. They changed so much stuff the shouldn't even have bothered calling it "Starship Troopers." I SPIT on this movie, and I know the difficulties of transferring between media. Two words: Beowulf screenplay.

Johnny Mnemonic: the stain upon the record of William Gibson's cyberpunk excellence. The original story didn't suck. The screenplay writers/directors/producers/executives clearly deserve death.

the upcoming The Core (WHY, Hillary Swank, WHY?!): worst, WORST science EVER. Jules Verne is spinning in his grave. *shudders*

Any others?

~Nan[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]A few years ago, there was a series of adaptations of 'classic' works of literature: the Odyssey, the Arthurian Legends, etc.

I will focus on 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, although they we all uniformly horrible.

I didn't see all of it, and it's been several years, but all I can remember is pumpkins under the water.

Pumpkins.

Under the water.




There was also a Journey to the Centre of the Earth adaptation in ~1993 that, oddly enough, didn't involve Germans, Arne Saknussum (sp) or an extinct volcano in Iceland. It did involve a snazzy ship that shot a sonic pulse into erupting lava and snuck down an active volcano. It starred Tuvok-to-be Tim Russ as a security guard.

Among the many things they encountered were day-glo plastic spotted stingrays that flew around and ate people. Think Operation:Annihilate! neural parasites. The sophistication of the puppets was on about the same level.

People wonder why I don't watch TV anymore.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The most awful one I can recall is a film by the mane of [iost_uid0]APEX[/iost_uid0], which frankly just defied words. There was also some really really wierd film called something like [iost_uid0]Jupiter Six[/iost_uid0] about this fella who kills another fella, steals a robot (that is basically a giant brain in a jar) and then goes to this research base on one of Jupiters moons, where he and the robot proceed to go completely nuts.

[quoteost_uid0]Starship Troopers: WORST Heinlein adaptation EVER.[/quoteost_uid0]

You didn't like it? Admitedly I didn't know it was based on a Heinlein novel, but I still liked it. As SF no-brainer action flics go, it's certainly at the better end of the scale.[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I didn't much care for [iost_uid0]Starship Troopers[/iost_uid0], the movie. But I didn't much care for [iost_uid0]Starship Troopers[/iost_uid0], the book. Heinlein in general has failed to impress me. ([iost_uid0]I Will Fear No Evil[/iost_uid0] was especially awful.)[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]You don't like Heinlein? Is that physically possible?[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well, I'm willing to take suggestions. I've read both [iost_uid0]Starship Troopers[/iost_uid0] and [iost_uid0]IWFNE[/iost_uid0]. The former didn't impress me and the latter sucked. That kinda kept me from reading other Heinlein. If there's a certain book you think I should check out, I'll look into it.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]As I mentioned in the books thread, try to get ahold of "The Past Through Tomorrow". Many of the stories in that are of the same expository style as "Starship Troopers" (one exception that comes to mind is "The Menace From Earth"), but they're generally much shorter, and maybe you would enjoy them more.


(Edit)Anyway, back on topic: I really don't tend to appreciate movies where the EarTh Is TotAlly blowN to Atomic shrEds, or famous, easIly iDentiFiable mOnUments get reduced to Rubble [iost_uid0]*cough*cough*cough*ahem*[/iost_uid0]. I find that kind of stuff rather stomach-turning.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][iost_uid0]Citizen of the Galaxy[/iost_uid0] is my favorite of all his books that I've read (which isn't actually that many to be honest).[/colorost_uid0]

[Captain Galactic]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Citizen of the Galaxy...[/bost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]


On basis of (former) name only, there is a PalmOS game coming out soon called [iost_uid0]Picoverse: Citizen of the Galaxy[/iost_uid0] (now just [iost_uid0]Picoverse[/iost_uid0]) by the same guy who made the awesome [iost_uid0]Space Trader[/iost_uid0] (Pieter Sprinok, if I remember correct). If you don't have a Palm, either buy one or download PalmOS Emulator (Sign up as a palm developer at PalmSource to download it legal-like in the US (or go to Download.com)) and go to PalmGear.com and download Space Trader. You will not regret it. [/colorost_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]A science fiction movie that I hated SO MUCH that I don't want to utter it's title...oh well...here goes: [iost_uid0]Battlefield Earth[/iost_uid0].

A perfectly good example of why John Travolta should NEVER do Sci-Fi.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Is that the one with the dragons? The name does sound familiar, though I'm pretty sure I've not seen it.[/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][iost_uid0]Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones[/iost_uid0].[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]*shocked silence*[/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Oh, come now -- that was the obvious joke and it had to be made. I actually kind of liked it the first time.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Actually, I am kinda shocked that there has been no mention of [iost_uid0]Insurrection[/iost_uid0] so far....[/colorost_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Meh, Insurrection didn't suck *that* bad. Well.. maybe. :suspicious:[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Wonko The Sane"]A perfectly good example of why John Travolta should NEVER do Sci-Fi.[/quoteost_uid0]
A five-minute parody excerpt from "Battlefield: Earth":

Smart Human Guy: Hey, freedom from slavery is good.
Other Human Guys: Dur?
Smart Human Guy: You know, not getting killed.
Other Human Guys: ...?
Human Love Interest Chick: *pouty gesture*
Smart Human Guy: You guys suck.

You know the movie sucks when it takes three quarters for the Enslaved Humans to realize that not being subjugated and exterminated is good.

[quoteost_uid0]You didn't like it? Admitedly I didn't know it was based on a Heinlein novel, but I still liked it. As SF no-brainer action flics go, it's certainly at the better end of the scale.[/quoteost_uid0]

Put it this way: [bost_uid0]GIANT BUGS ARE NOT POSSIBLE![/bost_uid0]

Plus:
[*] the "Dizzy" chick has bugger all significance in the book (she's mentioned, what, once?)[*] Johnny Rico was cast as an ANGLO! The hell? Juan Rico. Argh.[*] The aliens were telepathic humanoids, not brain sucking bugs.[*] the "elite military units" were stupid. Did they have ANY consultation from legit military sources at all? "Hey, let's all turn our backs to the oncoming horde of bugs!" They deserved to die!

The book was butchered. Ick.

The Lynch "Dune" adaptation riles me for the same reason. Gotta love that Princess Irulan was introduced for.... NO REASON in that movie. Phil and I mocked it the whole way through. Some good stuff, more bad stuff. This will prolly get me lynched, but it's true.

And all promotional material for [iost_uid0]The Core[/iost_uid0] should be burned and the writers run out of town with torches and pitchforks.

Nan[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones.[/quoteost_uid0]

The only likeably characters in that movie were the bad guys (save Yoda the Hedgehog). I'm turning to the Dark Side.

[quoteost_uid0]Meh, Insurrection didn't suck *that* bad. Well.. maybe. [/quoteost_uid0]

On a scale of 1 to vaccuum, it was about an ionosphere. If it could decide whether it was a comedy, romance, or space opera and stay with it, things would improve. Data as the comic relief was just irritating. Star Trek can get away with comedy. It can't get away with slapstick.

[quoteost_uid0]Put it this way: GIANT BUGS ARE NOT POSSIBLE!
[/quoteost_uid0]

D&D gets a whole lot stranger when you realise the giant spider you're fighting should suffocate.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]I'm turning to the Dark Side.[/quoteost_uid0]
Are you really sure you want to be on the same side as Barney?

Yes, Nan, all books are butchered when they are made into movies. Which is why I'm glad there isn't a [iost_uid0]Redwall[/iost_uid0] movie out there.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Are you really sure you want to be on the same side as Barney?
[/quoteost_uid0]

First act of business is to purge my enemies.

[quoteost_uid0]Yes, Nan, all books are butchered when they are made into movies. Which is why I'm glad there isn't a Redwall movie out there.[/quoteost_uid0]

Oh, but there is. Episodic cartoon on Teletoon here in Canada. I don't recall Cornflower getting tied to a waterwheel.[/colorost_uid0]