The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > 5MV Talk
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-30-2006, 02:55 AM
Burt's Avatar
Burt Burt is offline
Hobbesian
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: We're......Everywhere! Wait wait wait... That's the Founders. No, I'm just in Hastings
Posts: 452
Send a message via MSN to Burt
Default Fivers. It's your choice.

Which Fiver do you like best?

I pretty much like all the Enterprise ones, they crack me up. But Earlier today, I read In the Pale Moonlight. Some how I seem to have missed this one before. Reading it, while drinking hot chocolate I came to this part:

Holo-Weyoun: ...at which point the rest of the Romulan fleet will be unable to stop us. What do you think, Damar?
Holo-Damar: DUH. I ARE STOOPID.
Sisko: Garak, are you sure you're the best person to write this script?
Garak: Are you implying that the dialogue is less than true-to-life?

At which the drick came flying out of my mouth (And a tiny bit of the nose) And I laughed so hard I spent the next 10 minutes on the floor gasping for breath.
That was a funny fiver.

That cracked me up too:

Sisko: Let's do some role-playing, old man. You're a Romulan strategist, and I argue that the Dominion is sure to turn on you eventually. What's your answer?
Dax: A human! How did you get into Romulan space? Guards!
Sisko: All right, let's say I take down the guards and you have to talk to me.
Dax: I demand to see proof!
Sisko: Blast, you're right. How can we prove the Dominion is --
Dax: No, proof that you could take down the guards. What's your THAC0?

Classic.

Whats other peoples favs?
__________________
Fate: Protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise...
Fate: Also beats the merry hell out of the Battlestar Galactica.
--------------------------------------------------
House Quote of the Day!
"I was curious. But since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous to me." Dr House MD
I don't think that metaphor was actually designed to warn cats.
Dr Wilson MD (Just)
-------------------------------------------------
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-30-2006, 03:23 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

I'm assuming we can't vote for our own.

I suppose to a certain extent I consider Caretaker to be way up there. It's one of the first (the first?). Consider this... (hey Duracell, where's my check? )

"Hey, wanna be Voyager's version of Bashir and O'Brien?" "Works for me."

"You know, they say a fool and her dog are soon parted." "Who cares?"
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-30-2006, 05:15 AM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Burt View Post
Which Fiver do you like best?
Not possible to single out one above all the others. It isn't even practical to pick a representative one for each of the many different flavo[u]rs of funny in which fivers might come.

I do remember getting pretty regular chuckles out of IJD's 'Doomsday Machine' fiver:
Quote:
Kirk: Wow, glad I wasn't on that when it was attacked.
Spock: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that whatever got the planets got that ship too.
Kirk: What are you saying?
Spock: We're screwed.
--------------------
Doomsday Machine: Kerplowie!
Enterprise: Ouch!
--------------------
Doomsday Machine: Kerplowie!
Spock: ....And with that, we're officially one million percent screwed.
Decker: Not if I can help it! Sulu, fire phasers!
McCoy: (over the comm) Sigh... can we declare him insane now?
Spock: Oh, all right. Mr. Sulu, break free.
Decker: What? You can't do that!
Sulu: We can't sir, we're too screwed.
--------------------
Decker: (over the comm) "And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it."
Kirk: Herman Melville....
Decker: No, Patrick Stewart. Anyway, goodbye cruel world....
Shuttle: Ka-BOOM!
But that's only one example...
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-30-2006, 06:01 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

Kerplowie? I guess that's okay, but I'm sorry, I just prefer KABLAZMO! Call me weird, call me obsessed, call me eccentric, just don't call me Shirley.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-30-2006, 06:51 AM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Maybe I'll call you Fred. Or Ignatz.

But just KABLAZMO? No BIFF! POWIE! SOCKO! OOF! ? Where's the variety?
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-30-2006, 03:11 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

I wasn't going for the Batman School of Sound Effects (not that Biff and Zowie were ever sound effects anyway), I was just saying that the instant I saw Kablazmo I knew I loved it. Just another one of those irrational instant loves or hates that we all encounter in our lives that have absolutely no basis in logic or rational thinging. Just like I love and hate with no reason:

Love:
Tie-dye shirts.
Really unusual hats (I have a cowboy hat that's covered in this horrible tan courderoy, for Zarquon's sake!)
Collecting odd and unusual coins, with no regard as to whether they'd ever be of ANY sort of value to anyone else.

Hate:
Chopped onion in foods.
Shows that require full knowledge of EVERY episode that went on before it to understand the current one.
Tellytubbies

I could go on, but you get the point.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-31-2006, 12:07 AM
Katy Jane's Avatar
Katy Jane Katy Jane is offline
Or is it KJHTMMM now?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 1,139
Send a message via MSN to Katy Jane Send a message via Yahoo to Katy Jane
Default

I've always loved the Vurtual Voyager episode Distant Elephants just for the simple fact that tuvok says "Elephants, Elephants, Elephants." all the time.

There's lots of others that are probably better, but this one has always stood out in my mind.
__________________
Vulcan children are never late with their Sehlat's dinner
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-31-2006, 12:17 AM
whoiam whoiam is offline
whathistitleis
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Birmingham Uni
Posts: 832
Send a message via MSN to whoiam
Default

There is nothing irrational about hating tellytubbies.
__________________
Me, singing: Krieg, huh... wozu ist der gut?
Um Europa zu übernehmen!

Vote Morphine - the party for Not Crushing Opium!

Yoda, to his ice-cream: The sauce is upon you, and soon, sprinkles must fall!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-31-2006, 12:56 AM
ijdgaf's Avatar
ijdgaf ijdgaf is offline
Unabridged
Senior Staff
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Hurricaneland
Posts: 791
Send a message via ICQ to ijdgaf Send a message via AIM to ijdgaf Send a message via MSN to ijdgaf
Default

Hooray! Appreciation! Thanks, Mudshark!

My favorite is an oldie. "The Void". Anthropomorphization! Poindexter McGunderbund! Canadian political jokes I don't understand!

Classic!

Go away, loose ends!
__________________
YOU READ IT...

...YOU CAN\'T UNREAD IT!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-31-2006, 03:20 AM
MaverickZer0's Avatar
MaverickZer0 MaverickZer0 is offline
Suuuuuper genius
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: On Beach Street, in a Dimensional Area
Posts: 745
Send a message via AIM to MaverickZer0 Send a message via MSN to MaverickZer0 Send a message via Yahoo to MaverickZer0
Default

People who live in Canada don't get Canadian political jokes. :D

I can't pick one. I'd have to go with all the 'spare season' ones--VVS and WYCBT. All of those ones crack me up.
__________________
Sig v8.2.2

No, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to go and do it anyway.

*pokes avatar* Made by a good LJ friend. Thanks Ani!

Dark Blues: I'm going to kill you!
Enzan: Not if I kill me first!
Dark Blues: You...are aware my goal is accomplished either way, right?
Enzan: ...Yeah...
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 10-31-2006, 03:32 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

Canadian political jokes? What would those be like?

Okay, I had a "what matters less than Canadian politics" joke already, but I'm really not in the mood to have my head shoved onto a pike today. The pikes you people carry these days always clash with my hair.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-31-2006, 03:36 AM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

Quote:
Okay, I had a "what matters less than Canadian politics" joke already, but I'm really not in the mood to have my head shoved onto a pike today. The pikes you people carry these days always clash with my hair.
There aren't many pike in BC anyway. Plenty of salmon, though.
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 10-31-2006, 03:55 AM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ijdgaf View Post
Hooray! Appreciation! Thanks, Mudshark!
Hey, no problem. It really was the first fiver I thought of when I started writing that post, and it still makes me laugh.

Quote:
My favorite is an oldie. "The Void". Anthropomorphization! Poindexter McGunderbund! Canadian political jokes I don't understand!

Classic!

Go away, loose ends!
Yeah!

Heh, Poindexter McGunderbund. Heh heh heh.
Quote:
Dr. Poindexter McGunderbund: Shut up.
Heh.
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10-31-2006, 01:03 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

I'm not sure I should thank you, Sa'ar, for getting Shrek stuck in my head with that pike bit.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 10-31-2006, 05:07 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Whichever ENT one it was that had the "T'Porthos" joke in made me chuckle. I've also a soft spot for the TMP fiver; perhaps the one that I remember liking the most though is "The Omega Glory", largely in part due to the whole Kirk-as-Zoidberg thing it has going on.
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 10-31-2006, 06:11 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

Quote:
I'm not sure I should thank you, Sa'ar, for getting Shrek stuck in my head with that pike bit.
Do what to whonow? Shrekwhatnow?
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 10-31-2006, 09:24 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,997
Default

Hey, another h2g2 gag! Standing ovation time!

Shrek had a great speech in the first movie about how ogres were about more than just storming into town, sticking people's heads on pikes, and drinking their bodily fluids.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.