|
|
#1
01-14-2007, 09:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
Fiver Punchlines in Real Life
A simple game: what fiver punchline(s) would you use in Real Life if the other person had the (magical) ability to actually get the joke?
For example, if I was in a grocery store I'd use the punchline "Who cares? We've got salami!" 
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. 
|
|
#2
01-15-2007, 12:46 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I must admit, I have used the:
'Close your eyes. What you see is how much sympathy I feel for you. ' A few times.
__________________
Fate: Protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise... Fate: Also beats the merry hell out of the Battlestar Galactica. -------------------------------------------------- House Quote of the Day! "I was curious. But since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous to me." Dr House MD I don't think that metaphor was actually designed to warn cats. Dr Wilson MD (Just) -------------------------------------------------
|
|
#3
01-15-2007, 05:11 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Okay, we're gonna have to add fiver titles and authors to these, 'cause I don't remember that one. It's a great punchline, though.
A fiver punchline of my own that I'd dearly love to use is "It's always time for sarcasm!" It's from an upcoming fiver, but it's not like that punchline will spoil anything, will it?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
|
#4
01-15-2007, 06:12 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I've quoted my own fivers at people in chats, to general confusion and bewilderment 'cause they don't know what B5 is.
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
|
|
#5
01-15-2007, 06:30 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
We all know what B5 is. It comes after B4 (never saw the sun shining so bright) and before B6 (half of Riddler's favorite vitamin).
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
|
#6
01-15-2007, 08:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I don't know. I'd probably end up using the panel discussion quotes more than fiver quotes. For some reason they strike me as more quotable.
__________________
Sig v8.2.2 No, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to go and do it anyway. *pokes avatar* Made by a good LJ friend. Thanks Ani! Dark Blues: I'm going to kill you! Enzan: Not if I kill me first! Dark Blues: You...are aware my goal is accomplished either way, right? Enzan: ...Yeah...
|
|
#7
01-15-2007, 11:07 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I sometimes use fiver jokes in RL conversations just because I know the people I'm talking to won't have heard them before. It's cheating, I suppose. But not as much as using the same joke on multiple family members, or even the same one twice once they've forgotten... which I also do. Hmm.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction Last edited by Zeke; 01-16-2007 at 12:38 AM.
|
|
#8
01-16-2007, 12:02 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Do they look at you in bewilderment when you keep saying "Hah! Me 1, Chakotay 0!"?
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
|
|
#9
01-16-2007, 12:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Heh heh.
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
|
|
#11
01-16-2007, 03:32 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Your precious Cassandra Claire abandoned you, you fools! Everyone worships flames that burn so hot they vanish into nothingness! And here I am, keeping at it year after year, and after all this time I'm still not King!
...Yeah, I'm still bitter about cleolinda getting that book published.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
|
|
#12
01-16-2007, 05:07 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Okay...once again my precious thread is getting mutated before its time. It's to be expected, but let me lament over me poor bairns just the same...
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
|
#13
01-16-2007, 05:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
OT: "Bite me."
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
|
|
#14
01-16-2007, 08:21 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Does any thread on these forums ever stay on topic, really? I recall that we've mutated spambot threads into discussions.
__________________
Sig v8.2.2 No, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to go and do it anyway. *pokes avatar* Made by a good LJ friend. Thanks Ani! Dark Blues: I'm going to kill you! Enzan: Not if I kill me first! Dark Blues: You...are aware my goal is accomplished either way, right? Enzan: ...Yeah...
|
|
#15
01-16-2007, 02:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Then to bring us back.....
Quote:
Captain Archer to Travis Near the end...
__________________
Fate: Protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise... Fate: Also beats the merry hell out of the Battlestar Galactica. -------------------------------------------------- House Quote of the Day! "I was curious. But since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous to me." Dr House MD I don't think that metaphor was actually designed to warn cats. Dr Wilson MD (Just) -------------------------------------------------
|
|
#16
01-16-2007, 04:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Was that "bite me" punchline from my OOT fiver? I'm not sure where that came from. Was I suggesting that a ten-year-old who's had little contact with the outside world would've never heard of any "witty" retort other than "bite me?" Must've picked it up from The Great Mido.
Thanks for the info, Burt. I agree that it's a great punchline, but if used in real life I'd get so many evil eyes that I might actually wither away to nothing.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
|
#17
01-16-2007, 05:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
|
|
#18
01-16-2007, 07:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
So I'm blatantly arrogant when it comes to my work. What else is new?
It suddenly occurs to me that a "random fiver" option would be a neat feature here. We can enjoy a "new" set of punchlines every day.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
|
#19
01-19-2007, 03:22 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Actually I invented the phrase "Bite me" nigh on twenty years ago. It was part of a high-larious THREE-LEVEL PUN.
Also, I invented the three-level pun way before that Ryan North guy.
__________________
YOU READ IT... ...YOU CAN\'T UNREAD IT!
|
|
#20
01-19-2007, 01:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Truly great puns don't need three levels, just a good setup line. I have a soft spot for the puns that take a second or two to sink in and then your brain flips inside out. For me the classic example of this kind is the mice screwing in a lightbulb joke/pun.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
