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March 28
I don't usually talk about the forums in newsposts, but I felt it was necessary today. Almost without exception, the 5M.net forums are civilized and orderly. Lots of good chatting goes on. But today the rules were broken in a truly flagrant manner. In this thread, a longstanding member -- one "Zeke" -- decided to abuse the trust he had earned from the community. He made a post which seemed perfectly innocuous, containing a link which seemed equally so. But that link led, with no warning whatsoever, to a hardcore porn image. Literally billions of innocent minds were destroyed. "Zeke," if that is his real name, claims that it was an accident. But that's easy to say after the fact. All I know for certain is that this user, who has protested "screamers" and the like many times, today outdid them all. I have no choice. Other forumgoers will vouch for the fact that I've always come down hard on -- Let me rephrase that. I've severly punished and disciplined the.... I've, um, sent my disapproval gushing over.... The point is it's not allowed. So as of this moment, "Zeke" is banned from the forums. Let this be a lesson to all of you. No one who flouts the laws of the community will be spared, whether friend, enemy, or me.
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#2
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heh. Nice sentiment and all. Still, I vote that Zeke be given a special dispensation by Zeke to continue posting in the 'news' section... otherwise, how will we all know that there's been new stuff posted to the site?
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Me, singing: Krieg, huh... wozu ist der gut? Um Europa zu übernehmen! Vote Morphine - the party for Not Crushing Opium! Yoda, to his ice-cream: The sauce is upon you, and soon, sprinkles must fall! |
#3
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Wanna know my theory? Zuke's got psychic control over Zeke, but it only lasts for short bursts. That's why he's felt remorse over the link - that I missed, dammit - and felt the urge to ban himself. It's part of Zuke's plan to move in while Zeke is in a self-imposed exile.
It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Zuke's trying to take over the site, and then the world, and then Microsoft! The sky is falling! Red and Blue are the same! Aliens took my sister! Polybius is a real game! And so on. |
#4
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Wow. So this is what Zuuke was planning. I knew it was something devious, but this? I'm glad I'm on his side.
EDIT: Can I throw my cranial plate into the ring for the open moderator post? I'm more active than the prior ocupant, at least in the forum, and I'm relatively cetain I can keep to his rigorous posting schedule. :P
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e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#5
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Quote:
Great Maker, he's multiplying...
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#6
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Not quite. Originally, Zuke's plan was to use Zuuke along the lines of "two of the same head are better than one". However, Zuuke sent Zuke to the Big Lair in the Sky. He's been taking his place in the chat for several weeks, but he's such a good actor nobody's noticed. However, I found out from an anonymous source I met in my school parking lot who went by the psuedonym "Deep Larnyx", who spoke in a semi-Canadian accent, then offered me the Chief Minion position. Sensing a change in the winds, I joined up.
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e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#7
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Hey, Zeke, you might want to check on this Zeke guy's banning. It looks like he's still posting in the Talk forum, 3 hours after you banned him. You might want to try IP banning and hope he doesn't use dial-up...
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#8
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WHAT?! I MEAN, WHAT!?!?!
Zeke posts porn, and NOT ONLY did I totally miss it when he did it (to point and laugh) but I MISSED CLICKING THE LINK?!?!! Damn. What a time I picked to take some offline time :wink:
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
#9
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Zuuke killed Zuke? Naah. Zuke's just communing with the Pah Wraiths...
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#10
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this is funny enough to lure me into joining and posting.
Quote:
Quote:
does the number of U's indicate a greater level of evilness? is zuuke more evil than zuke? |
#11
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Quote:
...to fill in the blanks. Huh, that's not much better. *Above linked site can never be overplugged. NEVER. |
#12
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Quote:
On the subject of 'u's, it's a reference to the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn. According to it, in the Star Wars universe, cloning can go wrong, and leads to the clones elongating a vowel of their name. So Luke's clone is Luuke. Therefore, Zuke's clone is 'Zuuke'. On the chat: That's not Zuke, that's Zuuke in disguise...The real Zuke is in the fire caves
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#13
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ah a level of nerdiness beyond my own! i have something to aspire to again!
how can you tell that it's zuuke in disguise and not zuke? it could be zuke pretending to be zuuke in disguise... |
#14
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You just have to ask him to name a few Sontarans
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#15
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I think you're being too hard on Zeke. He's always had a firm grip on himself before. It's clearly just a case of premature association. Nobody's head still hurts over it. (Besides, he couldn't keep it up for very long anyway -- the link has already been jerked off the forum.) Take him in hand, give him a stern lecture about safe posting, and let the issue peter out on its own.
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Any truth is better than indefinite doubt. — Sherlock Holmes "The Adventure of the Yellow Face," Arthur Conan Doyle |
#16
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No! If we give into this one case, it won't be long before we are forced to allow such as Zuuke and his Cheif Minion onto the fora! We must tighten our grip to prevent them from slipping through our fingers! We must have new a new moderator, a strong moderator. And then we will have peace.
PS: Name where all the Star Wars allusions come from, and get free pi.
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e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#17
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Holy multiple double-entendre, Batman!
Er, double multiple ... er, um ... :|
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) |
#18
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I disappear for two days...and I miss this?! It's kind of upsetting, I have to admit. But I suppose I'll have to live. And perhaps this'll sound stupid of me, but what IS Zuke, exactly? And can I attribute it to my newbie-ness?
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I'm a poster in search of a post. |
#19
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Zuke is the evil-Zeke created from a botched cloning operation. If you read the old This Just Ins, you'll see his story unfold: Issue 13, Issue 19, and Issue 20. Issue 19 also came with a modified front page due to Zuke's takeover (or because it was April 1, depending on who you believe).
I don't suppose you have that 6MV front page archived anywhere for posterity, do you, Zeke?
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#20
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There was porn? I am both shocked and appalled! I just don't understand it - I've always looked up to you, Zeke, but now that image has been shattered forever. Such a thing can never truly be forgiven.
(Unless, of course, it was good porn. In which case the whole thing is totally okay. )
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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