Voice of Fiver

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I wrote this for the OUC campus paper a few years back. It also contains a stealth reference to Voice of Fire. Warning: not safe for Fine Arts majors. It's not very long, or coherent, and doesn't really come to a good conclusion.

It didn’t take the Fine Arts students long to begin redecorating the campus. For those of you missed the…display in the Student Services foyer a couple of weeks ago, let me explain. A group of students spent several hours setting up – I don’t know what else to call them but ‘things.’ They resembled Shrek’s earwax candle, made of fired clay. They were arrange in a sinuous line, apparently marching towards another, larger blob of clay. This conglomeration had what appeared to be picture frames set in it. I don’t know what all this was in aid of, but it seemed pretty useless to me It’s not art until someone says ‘Yes, but what is it?” Then the so-called artist gets to turn their scorn on the rest of us Philistines who fail to comprehend their delicately crafted ‘message.’ OUC could find all the money it needs by axing worthless programs like Fine Arts. We’d also be rid of at least half that monstrosity of a building I complained about two or three issues ago. As you can probably guess, I have little or no use for art. Some may find that strange, seeing as how I used to be President of the OUC Drama club (come see our play – Laughter on the 23rd Floor, details coming to a poster near you). Maybe I’m just bitter because OUC only caters to the weird art forms and ignores the more Philistine-accessible subjects like drama and band (although they both have their lunatic fringes, like performance art, which is people standing in interesting positions). Band and drama also require actual talent, rather than merely painting stripes on a canvas and flogging it to the National Gallery for millions of ill-spent dollars.

Disclaimer: these comments do not apply to artists who can actually draw, ie, faithfully reproduce a three dimensional object in two dimensions using only pigments smeared on paper or canvas. I know many talented artists, some of whom will post sketches of me wearing a bikini if I don't make this disclaimer.[/colorost_uid0]