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  #321  
Old 03-14-2004, 02:22 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000ost_uid0][imgost_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms30.gif[/imgost_uid0][/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Mmmmm, cookies. :bigsmile:[/colorost_uid0]
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  #322  
Old 03-14-2004, 05:06 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]3. Bald captains

2. TNG's tradition of keeping pets aboard the sh--um, never mind...

1. Holodeck episodes [iost_uid0]( NOOOOOOO! )[/iost_uid0]



Next:

Top Ten Secret Time Travel Methods and Devices Used By Members of Starfleet[/colorost_uid0]
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  #323  
Old 03-14-2004, 01:43 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]10. Duct tape
9. Kirk's rug
8. Porthos(is secretly an agent of the Time Travel War)
7. Sisko's baseball
6. Worf's pride
5. Troi's dresses
4. Picard's love for Crusher(which explains the series finale)
3. Crusher's love for Picard
2. Data's cat, Spot
1. Janeway's coffee cup!

Top Ten Secret Goals of any Star Trek series characters[/colorost_uid0]
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  #324  
Old 03-14-2004, 03:28 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Gack. I've been absent from this thread far too long. Stupid calculus. Also Vulcan Country Hits.

[bost_uid0]Top Ten Secret Goals of Star Trek Characters[/bost_uid0]

10. [bost_uid0]Lwaxana:[/bost_uid0] To cover up the fact that "Rixx" was the name of her great-great-grandmother's pet cat
9. [bost_uid0]Brunt:[/bost_uid0] To insult every single sentient being in the universe, in alphabetical order. Is devoting extra attention to the 'Q's
8. [bost_uid0]Data:[/bost_uid0] Desire to be human motivated primarily by desperate urge to get "I Shot the Sheriff" out of memory banks
7. [bost_uid0]Sloan:[/bost_uid0] Was hoping to kill off every living person in the galaxy, so he could stop being so secretive and live a normal life again.
6. [bost_uid0]Garak:[/bost_uid0] To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, and to bear with unbearable sorrow to run where the brave dare not go.
5. [bost_uid0]Icheb:[/bost_uid0] To live up to his personal role-model, Wesley Crusher
4. [bost_uid0]Klaang:[/bost_uid0] Unclear, evidently something involving T'Pol and Saran wrap
3. [bost_uid0]Kai Winn:[/bost_uid0] To convince the people of Bajor that Weight-Watchers is in fact [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] a sin in the eyes of the Prophets
2. [bost_uid0]Shran:[/bost_uid0] Is only leading militant rebellion until he finally manages to break into theater
1. [bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] Is actually hosting the most succesful Candid Camera program of all time.

Next up: Top Ten Ways to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship[/colorost_uid0]
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  #325  
Old 03-16-2004, 01:07 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship


10. Reprogram the transporters to materialize only the heads at the end of transport. After you've taken over the ship, use them for soccer practice.
9. Construct a really sexy hologram to distract Riker. Make sure she speaks French, too, just in case Picard is around as well.
8. Code Name: Jellicoe.
7. Step one: Kidnap Data. Step two: When the entire crew beams down to look for him and Dr. Beverly is left in command, send in your best sexy Trill ghost and the ship will be yours.
6. Reprogram the replicators to dispense Chamomile instead of Earl Grey.
5. All screens and monitors display only "Baywatch" reruns.
4. Tell Bun-Bun that "Starship Enterprise" is a previously unknown holiday.
3. Popularize a holodeck novel in which participants engage in the day-to-day operations of a Galaxy-class starship, and wait for the crew to all get stuck in it without realizing it.
2. Beam the senior staff down to a Star Trek convention. When they die of humuliation, take over the ship.

And The Number One Way to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship

1. Hey--instead of stealing it, why not just replicate one?



Next, in honor of Pi Day: Top Ten Favorite Pies from the Neelix Cookbook[/colorost_uid0]
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  #326  
Old 03-16-2004, 04:06 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Favorite Pies from the Neelix Cookbook

10. Leola Root Pie
9. Prune Pie
8. Lettuce and Cheese Sauce pie
7. Coffee pie
6. Hot Cross Bun Pie
5. M-Class Planet Suprise Pie
4. Nebula Pie
3. Paris's Speciel Pie
2. Root, Grub, and Grass Pie
1. Porthos's Famous Chilli Cheese Pie.

Top Ten Reasons the crew of DS9 didnt get more... romance*wink wink nudge nudge*[/colorost_uid0]

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  #327  
Old 03-17-2004, 10:54 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons the crew of DS9 didnt get more... romance*wink wink nudge nudge*

10. "I guess I've found out how far down the spots go" deemed to good a line to waste on anything but series finale
9. After watching "His Way," crew unanimously prefers celibacy to any contact with Vic
8. The one-episode flame who is never seen again doesn't work as well when everybody stays in the same place the whole time
7. Due to constant extreme proximity to the Celestial Palace of the Prophets, various Kais, and the Emissary of the Prophets , crew is rather discomforted by the whole matter
6. Saving it all for [iost_uid0]ENT[/iost_uid0] promos
5. Rumored leftover Cardassian recording/transmitting equipment still not removed
4. All station's women refuse any other man after one night with Morn
3. Romance bring pleasure; pleasure brings joy; joy interferes with dark gloomy atmosphere
2. Unnerving threats made by Kira in the event that she ever has to carry anybody else's baby again
1. Foolish writers somehow thought that Odo/Kira, O'Brienn/Kieko, Bashir/Dax, Dax/Worf, Sisko/Kassidy, Odo/Female Shapeshifter, Rom/Leeta, Garak/Ziyal, and Dukat/Winn actually sufficient.

Next up: Top Ten Tricks and Tips for Writing a Fiver[/colorost_uid0]
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  #328  
Old 03-17-2004, 02:28 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Tricks and Tips for Writing a Fiver



10. Write one for something the site actually covers. The Hardy Boys, Garfield, and Barney are not good subjects.

9. Come to think of it, an episode of Barney could probably be covered in ten seconds.

8. Don't be afraid to milk a joke for all it's worth.

7. Just scrawl down any old rubbish that comes to mind.

6. Don't be afraid to rip other fivers off.

5. Don't be afraid to include actual literary devices, like parallelism for example.

4. Don't be afraid to include running jokes, like this entire list thus far for example.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #329  
Old 03-17-2004, 05:49 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]3. If you can't think of something funny for a certain scene, write it in such a way that people think it's a reference to something they haven't seen/read.

2. Don't be afraid to milk a joke for all it's worth.

1. When in doubt, make a joke about pie/Porthos/chili/etc.

Next: Top 10 Favorite things about 5MD[/colorost_uid0]
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  #330  
Old 03-17-2004, 07:10 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]And I thought [iost_uid0]I[/iost_uid0] had an ego. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #331  
Old 03-17-2004, 09:05 PM
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[quoteost_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000ost_uid0]3. If you can't think of something funny for a certain scene, write it in such a way that people think it's a reference to something they haven't seen/read.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]You're talking about [iost_uid0]me[/iost_uid0], aren't you? [/colorost_uid0]
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  #332  
Old 03-17-2004, 09:20 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Actually, I'm referring more to guest submissions I get that look like they must have a reference to something, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Sometimes I'll let a scene or two like that just pass without comment.

...But I do still remember your theory about "The Collaborator". I wish I were as good as you made me out to be. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #333  
Old 03-17-2004, 11:55 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]1. Foolish writers somehow thought that Odo/Kira, O'Brienn/Kieko, Bashir/Dax, Dax/Worf, Sisko/Kassidy, Odo/Female Shapeshifter, Rom/Leeta, Garak/Ziyal, and Dukat/Winn actually sufficient.[/quoteost_uid0]

[color=greenost_uid0]What about poor little Jake? He didnt get much. Or Quark? He was on DS9 AND BTVS and didnt get anyone![/colorost_uid0]

hehe, yah, I was trying to make fun of the fact that there was so much romance on DS9 when I came up with that topic.[/colorost_uid0]
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #334  
Old 03-18-2004, 02:20 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hey guys,

Well, I was sooooo bored the other night that I [iost_uid0]compiled[/iost_uid0] the top ten lists through Monday.

It's in PDF form at the following link:

http://galacticzero.com/files/topten1.pdf

Enjoy! Don't worry about me, I'll get a life someday.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #335  
Old 03-18-2004, 02:23 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000ost_uid0]What about poor little Jake?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hmmm, what about Jake/Nog? :lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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  #336  
Old 03-18-2004, 05:39 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well, yes, but I mean... that was merely implied! [/colorost_uid0]

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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #337  
Old 03-18-2004, 05:48 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top 10 Favorite things about 5MD


10. Vic Fontane is taken seriously.
9. No Porthos jokes.
8. Sense is made regarding why Kai Winn dated Dukat.
7. Well-thought out plots are torn apart, as opposed to the other 5MV subsites, where plots only makes sense at 5MV.
6. No one eats chilli.
5. Jake gets lines.
4. Morn gets mourned.
3. It's puns-tastic!
2. The only sci-fi you can read or watch when reading "Heart of Darkness" is too exciting.
1. It only takes 35 minutes, rather than 35 weeks, to see Ezri and Julian together!

Top Ten Reasons 'Shipper faves never would have worked. (ie, Data/toaster)[/colorost_uid0]

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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them.
Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!)
Needing more sleep since before 2003
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  #338  
Old 03-18-2004, 06:44 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons 'Shipper faves never would have worked. (ie, Data/toaster)

10. Seven/Data
9. Odo/Janeway
8. Chakotay/Tree Goddess
7. Spock/T'Pol
6. Kirk/Janeway
5. Tucker/Ezri
4. Data/T'Pol
3. Chakotay/Borg Queen
2. Doctor/Kes
1. Picard/Janeway

Next: Top 10 product placements in Star Trek episodes

(What is 5MD?)[/colorost_uid0]

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  #339  
Old 03-18-2004, 07:05 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0](Five-Minute Deep Space Nine)[/colorost_uid0]
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  #340  
Old 03-18-2004, 08:11 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Next: Top 10 product placements in Star Trek episodes[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]If it wern't for the fact that its way past my bed time i'd do this one :lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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