Baw Fivers - Home to BaW, BaS, BoV, and others

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Nan, you have the gift of gab I love it.

So do I, but I tend to be more reserved - helps me with English papers tho [/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Nan"]And I'd really like it if we could get back to actual BaW fivers before this turns into a screaming match and one of the moderators is forced to THWACK us all...?[/quoteost_uid0]
I've been thinking it's time for that too. Since you agree, I'll loose off my incredible laziness long enough to post the part of my Christmas BoV fiver that I have on my computer, in its original form. The rest will sadly have to wait until I get up the energy to retype it . (Even at that, I think I've lost the ending... )

[quoteost_uid0]Please note: I haven't figured out an end scene for this one yet [imgost_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/imgost_uid0], so I'll just post part of what I have so far (and it's long anyway). Feel free to malign what follows without waiting for the rest of it, as long as you remember that all my usual disclaimers apply. SPECIAL DISCLAIMERS: This is not intended to be critical of anyone, or supply any fable-istic moral. If you wish to use it on unfinished wood or a non-woodean surface, first spot-test on an area where it won't show.

      Episode IV I/II : Pie in the Mind's Eye

sax: ...and so the judge says, "No, you can stay, but in a gorilla suit, the Ferengi has got to go!" Get it? "Suit"?
Entire forum: Grooan!
NAHTMMM: Hahaha, that was silly.
Celeste: sax, you better watch out or your bad-pun habit is gonna come back to haunt you. great, now I'm doing it :-D And NAH, you just have a weird sense of humor.
sax: Huh?
Celeste: Oh, right, we aren't supposed to know about the dramatic irony in that remark yet. sorry

sax: You know, I could really go for a midnight snack right now. Actually, it'd be a 2:30 snack, but who's counting? Â ...Mmm, pie.
Ghost: Mmm, pie.
sax: What was that?
Ghost: Oh, nuts, you went and made me reveal myself. I'm gonna say boo anyway. Boo! I am the Member of Forum Past! Want a cookie?
sax: Umm...Christmas Eve was several days ago. And does this mean you're never coming back?
Soyokaze: Of course not, silly! The other 2 ghost parts were already taken, that's all. I'm late because I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque and somehow wound up in Santa Fe.
sax: Heheh.
Soyokaze: If you think that's bad, Forum Present manages to get lost in downtown Beijing.
Voice: (from off-screen) Do not!

sax: So what part of my past will we visit?
Soyokaze: Well, since this is just a fiver, and since the pitiful special-effects budget was mostly blown on ghostlinesses, we're only gonna show one scene here. [iost_uid0]*Gwoop!*[/iost_uid0]
[iost_uid0]Kira: (reading) "...would've stunk more with a skunk as a guest star"? Heheheh. (typing) "Groan."[/iost_uid0]
Soyokaze: To sum up, people found all your puns funny at first, but as you increased their frequency, the novelty wore off.

Ghost: I am the Member of Forum Present. We go now to see what effect your posts are having on others.
sax: You're talking funny.
Ghost: I am Celeste of the Present. Past and future tenses are irrelevant. Your complaining is futile.

sax: You already had several lines. Shouldn't The Squid or someone else be Forum Present?
Celeste: Ummm....er...NAH knows I mean business when I threaten him with more tickle torture if, uh, I don't get a part I want. Geez, this is tough. Â ...Okay, here we go! [iost_uid0]*Bwoop!*[/iost_uid0]
(Time passes)
[iost_uid0]*Bwap!*[/iost_uid0]
sax: ...Well, that [iost_uid0]was[/iost_uid0] interesting. But, um, I don't see why we did all that, since only maybe two of the dozen people we visited did anything even remotely involving the forums.
Celeste: Well, yes. But it wa--er, it is fun anyway, and that is what counts. Actually, we could have gone back in time a bit and watched someone plot he--NO! No no no no [iost_uid0][bost_uid0]no![/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0] ::breathes slowly and deeply a moment:: Okay, let's try that again. ...Sax, when it's a choice between, say, watching someone plot her revenge against you for your maddening puns and watching Zeke go nuts over an awful fiver from a new writer who leaves quintuple !'s and blinking text all over the page, I go with the most entertaining choice, which in this case happens to be Zeke.
sax: Uh...I think that I would prefer the choice that kept me safe, personally. So who was this revengey person, anyway?
Celeste: Umm, let's keep that confidential, OK?[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]A BaW fiver which involves sushi will go far to endear the author to me.

I'm eating sushi now.

Sushi is the pie to my Zeke. [/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Saxamaphone"]Nan, you have the gift of gab  I love it.[/quoteost_uid0]
I'm too abrasive. I'm trying to curb that.

[quoteost_uid0]So do I, but I tend to be more reserved - helps me with English papers tho [/quoteost_uid0]

Hehehe, I just finished english 12.

On the provincial (my mock-provincial), one of the subjects you were suppose to write a 400-word composition on was something like, "Keeping an open mind allows for growth. Discuss."

I wrote a 600+ word composition on "open-mindedness" being a vital survival mechanism.

Oh yeah. Vintage Nan. [/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]On the provincial (my mock-provincial), one of the subjects you were suppose to write a 400-word composition on was something like, "Keeping an open mind allows for growth. Discuss."
[/quoteost_uid0]

That has way too many words in it to be a Provincial essay topic.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]That's the final assignment.

Missed the provincial. Was gonna write it today but couldn't get up.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Nan wanted to cook some chili
But couldn't shake a sense of being silly.
So she settled for some [bost_uid0]sushi[/bost_uid0]
And a movie from John Belushi.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Settle, heck. I don't even like chili. [/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]i like chili. but sushi's good too.

did i ever mention the SATC definition of 'sushi' on this board? i must have, sometime...[/colorost_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quoteost_uid0="Nan"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Settle, heck. I don't even like chili. [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Good, cause the PETA people might get all up ons.[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quoteost_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000ost_uid0]i like chili. but sushi's good too.

did i ever mention the SATC definition of 'sushi' on this board? i must have, sometime...[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]If you did, I must have missed it. (Also: SATC? :S )

And I like chili. I make great chili. Bit much for some folx, tho. [/colorost_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]mmm chili, i love chili, expecialy with sour cream and cheese and beagle (oh wait, i didnt say that, no please! please, not the gag, not aga...mpph mmph mmmmmmmmmmmph!)[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[quoteost_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000ost_uid0]If you did, I must have missed it. (Also: SATC? :S )[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Sex And the City.

Maybe I didn't really *explicitly* mention it. This [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] a PG board, isn't it?[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Sex And the City.[/quoteost_uid0]

That's tantamount to an admission of having [iost_uid0]actually watched[/iost_uid0] that dreadful program. Which, as we all know, is a thwappable offense.

*PHJ breaks out his fish*[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]*PHJ breaks out his fish*
[/quoteost_uid0]

*Sa'ar takes pity on Taya and fixes the fish*

Nothing smells worse than a broken fish.[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]By definition, at any rate.

While I'm aware of the show, being cable-deficient, I've never seen it and didn't automatically connect the initials. I could probably hazard a guess concerning sushi, though. [/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[quoteost_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I could probably hazard a guess concerning sushi, though. [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Trying to determine if I actually want to know...[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Almost certainly not.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Heh heh heh....[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]Almost certainly not.[/quoteost_uid0]

I think he's right there.

And PHJ, what do you mean, THWAPpable offence? SATC is a fun show. Not that I'm a fan, but it's just fun.[/colorost_uid0]