Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Rejected Pickup Lines of Captain Kirk

10. You're even prettier than the last robot I kissed.
9. Wanna see my nebula?
8. Well, let's see, I have one kid that I know of...
7. I hope you don't mind if we double-date with Uhura. No, she's not bringing anyone, why?
6. In addition to being a starship captain, I also run a successful parody fan site on the side. Oh, I hope you like chili and pie.
5. We don't have money in the future.
4. Ha ha, they'll never let you be Captain! Hey, what'd I say?
3. Did you see my shirt come off during the fight with the Klingons? Huh? Didja?
2. You're a shapeshifter? Awesome! Boy, have I got plans for you!

And the number one Rejected Pickup Line of Captain Kirk:

1. I ... am ... Kirok!


Next:
Top Ten Signs of a Star Trek/Matrix Crossover[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Lynch version or SFC mini-series? Or both?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hmm. That's like asking if you prefer being boiled in oil or drawn and quartered.

After seeing both screen versions of this most peculiar and absorbing novel I remain convinced that it is utterly unfilmable.[/colorost_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10: The same redshirt keeps dying
9: Suddenly everyone knows martial arts
8: Harry actually does something
7: Q starts acting like Morpheus
6: Tom starts quoting Neo
5: Hayes starts wearing a black tuxedo and sunglasses
4: Malcom and Hayes start fighting.....oh wait they already do that
3: Trip begins to fly around the ship after T'pol
2: Time slows down everytime someone fires a phaser
1: Weird stuff STOPS happening

Next:
Top Ten Reasons to be redshirt[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Signs of a Star Trek/Matrix crossover

10. Four words: Picard with a Katana
9. The Scalosians file a lawsuit for copyright infringement because everybody dodges phaser beams now
8. The Borg start to wear suits and become even harder to beat
7. After scanning a planet, Paris loudly exclaims "Realize the truth. There is no dilithium."
6. Even Wesley Crusher can dual-wield two phaser rifles and kick major booty
5. Commbadges snap open when tapped
4. Morpheus gets a beard and starts to overact a lot
3. Overheard in the NCC 1701's gym:
[bost_uid0]Kirk:[/bost_uid0] I know Kirk-Fu.
[bost_uid0]Spock:[/bost_uid0] Show me.
2. Lt. Reed fights three dozen identical Xindi with a stick and comes out on top

And the Number One sign that you're caught in a Star Trek/Matrix crossover:

1. Picard saves Dr. Crusher's life, not vice-versa. And something about a rave in Main Engineering. Wee, look at those swirly colors in the warp core!

The best part is, 10 has actually happened. In a comic, but it's happened.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons To Be A Redshirt

10. Total lack of pattern recognition
9. Always able to get reliable information indicating whether or not you're dead, Jim
8. Whole lot of cheap second-hand uniforms available, practically new
7. Attempting to emulate Alpha Complex citizens with Red Security Clearence, in hopes of multiplying projected life span by six
6. Guarenteed answers to deep philosophical questions regarding nature of reality and existance of god within a month or less
5. Lifelong ambition to serve as exposition for dire peril awaiting regular cast members
4. Bright red uniform perfect camouflage when dropped into Mendinus IV's fiery lava pits
3. Memorizing lines very difficult
2. Prefer to have your life simple and laid out before you, instead of all that dreadful uncertainty

And the number one reason to be a Redshirt:
1. Explore new worlds, new civilizations, and bravely GAK! where no man has GAK!ed before

Annnnnd next up:
Top Ten LoTR Spinoffs We're Bound To Be Seeing[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]ARg, the Matrix crossover should have been mine! Oh well[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0](hint: you're allowed to write funny stuff outside the game rules anyway. )[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Lynch version or SFC mini-series? Or both?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]The book. That's why there are no immediate plans -- I don't have anywhere to put it.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Even if you [iost_uid0]did[/iost_uid0] have somewhere to put it, based on the reprints I've seen, I'm not sure it could be squeezed into a mere five minutes all that well [/colorost_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten LoTR Spinoffs We're Bound To Be Seeing

10. The Journey of Samwise Gamgee, in full color
9. Whatever happened to Lorien? the miniseries
8. The Adventures of Gollum
7. The Tale of the Dwarves, with special guest star Grumpy
6. A five-part study on what happens to things that fall into fiery pits of doom
5. Strider's Tales, the movie
4. Merry and Pippin's Joke-off Marathon, twelve straight hours of madcap mayhem
3. LotR, the animated series, starring the voice talents of Elijah Wood, Joe Black, and that guy who brought everyone pizza
2. Hobbit Idol, the quest for the ultimate Hobbit singer
1. Arwen's life story, a twelve part epic tale

Next up: Top Ten Signs the Cast of Enterprise is Going to Audition for American Idol[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]^Don't forget "LotR Babies".


[quoteost_uid0="Zeke"]Who [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] the Top Hat Man?[/quoteost_uid0]

Local historians agree that he is most likely based on the Man In The Yellow Hat of "Curious George" fame.
Well, one does, anyway.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten LOTR Spinoffs (yes, it's been done, but I was doing them first and then my computer logged me out so c+p'd, so now I'm posting)


10. Gimli's Variety Hour
9. Fashion File with Arwen
8. Law and Order: Rohan Cavelery Unit
7. Gondor's Horn (rated 18A)
6. ER: Elrond's Rivendell
5. Legolas and Aragorn's Excellent Adventure
4. Dumb and Dumber: When Merry met Pippin
3. Frodo and Samwise (like Will and Grace)
2. Gandalf's Hogwarts
1. Gollum and Friends!


(So what is the Top Hat Man? Well, he's a man, he wears a top hat, and he does stuff. He is based on a picture of a guy in a top hat from a play I was in that was sitting near the computer as I was doing a Q+A post.)
[/colorost_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10: Porthos loses his hearing
9: The helm becomes a kareoke bar
8: Simon Calwell stars making cameos
7: Malcom can be heard singing "Trigger Happy" by Wierd Al
6: Hoshi starts to faint everytime someone shines a light on her
5: Travis actually says something and starts singing
4: T'pol gets plastic surgery
3: Major Hayes changes his name to D Major and his posse
2: The ship actually breaks apart due to god awful singing
1: Suddenly Enterprise becomes a musical producion

Next:
Top ten things that would happen in a Voyager/Sonic The Hedgehog crossover[/colorost_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top ten things that would happen in a Voyager/Sonic The Hedgehog crossover
10. Paris starts wearing rocket shoes and disappearing after yelling 'Chaos control!' at random intervals
9. Kim starts working on a new shuttle he calls the Tornado
8. Chakotay is seen towing dumb-looking robots around
7. Janeway starts liking pink and obsessing over a crush
6. Kes carries around a little blue and yellow thing called 'Cheese'
5. Torres starts sneaking around and stealing stuff
4. Seven [iost_uid0]stops[/iost_uid0] sneaking around and stealing stuff and instead becomes obsessed with finding 'Chaos Emeralds'
3. Neelix cooks chili dogs
2. The Doctor starts treating crewmembers for various speed-collision related injuries
1. People sight a blue blur in the hallways that smells of chili dogs

Next: Top Ten Things Related to Babylon 5 We'd Never Want on Star Trek[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Top Ten Things Related to Babylon 5 We'd Never Want on Star Trek[/bost_uid0]


10. Story-arc based space stations with numbers in their names.... oh wait.
9. Byron.
8. Aliens without funny bumps on their foreheads
7. Byron.
6. Garak getting drunk, hitting on Kira, Sisko AND Bashir before then passing out on Quark's table.
5. Chekov developing telepathic powers, losing his accent and gaining an evil smirk. He then proceeds to fry Kirk's mind into a crisp and subsequently attempts to take over the world.
4. Shadows flying Vorlon ships. Hey, waaait a minute...
3. Picard spacing teddy bears with his initials sewn onto them.
2. Byron.

And the #1 B5 related thing we DON'T want on Star Trek...

1. Laws of physics.



Top Ten Fun Things to Do With Farscape Characters on Board the Enterprise[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Fun Things to Do With Farscape Characters on Board the Enterprise

10. Have D'Argo beat up Archer.
9. Have Noranti take over sickbay and make McCoy very annoyed indeed.
8. Have Chianna flirt with [iost_uid0]everyone[/iost_uid0] (but then, she does that anyway, right?).
7. Have Scorpius kill that irritating Kazon leader fella and actually make them into an enemy to be feared rather than laughed at.
6. Have Jool scream at the Borg and watch them melt.
5. Have Sikozu annoy the heck out of Wesley by constantly proving him wrong.
4. Have Stark go and live in the Bajor wormhole ("My dimension, your dimension! My dimension, your dimension!").
3. Have Rygel become Grand Nagus of the Ferengi - he could teach them a thing or two.
2. Have Aeryn take over Reed's job (which he'd now be useless at anyway because of spending all his waking hours mooning over her).

1. Have John order the [iost_uid0]Voyager[/iost_uid0] crew to do various random and silly things on the promise that he'll create a wormhole for them ("That's it Janeway! Bark! Bark like a dog!").


Top Ten Reasons why the [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] is a Dinghy of Suckitude[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons why the Enterprise is a Dinghy of Suckitude

10. Warp engine really powered by hamsters
9. Hey, Barclay's transporter phobia is really funny. Let's base a whole series on it!
8. Shields (er, hull plating) can be penetrated by tossing a piece of popcorn at the ship
7. Hoshi wins both the Whiniest Character Since Wesley Award [iost_uid0]and[/iost_uid0] the Most Pointless Character Since Wesley Award
6. Trip hasn't even mentioned mint juleps
5. I still have nightmares about Phlox's toenails
4. Because of continuity, alien species limited to those seen in "Journey to Babel"
3. Can't they get Travis to shut up for once?
2. Archer/T'Pol sexual tension too restained compared to Kirk/Spock

And the Number One Reason why the Enterprise is a Dinghy of Suckitude

1. Not enough Zephram Cochrane cameos


Next:

Top Ten Careers Pursued By Characters Written Out Of Star Trek[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Careers Pursued By Characters Written Out Of Star Trek

[ignore my mistake]10. Tasha Yar: cop in Ottawa.
9. Kes:
Jadzia
Dr. Pulaski[/ignore my mistake]

10. running a cafe were a wise-cracking doctor always comes to
9. Pyrotechnic Supervisor
8. 3rd assistant to the assistant key grip
7. Career councillor
6. pizza delivery person
5. Ditch digger
4. Communist snitch
3. Playing Office Worker #2
2. Starring on a show in the Space Channel
1. Guesting on future Roddenberry shows


Top Ten Characters John would date on a Trek series[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Opium"]10. Tasha Yar: cop in Ottawa.
9. Kes:
Jadzia
Dr. Pulaski[/quoteost_uid0]
Sorry I tossed a curve there. I figured there had to be ten, but I didn't bother to work it out. Â Also depends on whether you include second-tier characters or not, whether you require a "writing out" rather than simply vanishing, etc.

My only rule in this list is they had to appear in more than one episode and then never returned. If you exclude people who just vanished you can't even use Pulaski.

For the record, I came up with:

TOS:
Riley
Rand

TNG:
Yar
Crusher (Season 1) (oops)
Pulaski
Wesley
Ro
O'Brien/Keiko

Movies:
Kirk (Generations)
Data (Nemesis)

DS9:
Kai Opaka
Other Kais and Vedeks
Jadzia


VOY:
Kes
Neelix
Wildman (Naomi's mother)
Seska
[bost_uid0]Added:[/bost_uid0] Carey

ENT:
None yet, right?


Sure there's a lot more, if you really dig. Who's obsessive enough to add to the list?


Edited to removed Crusher and add Carey[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]My only rule in this list is they had to appear in more than one episode and then never returned.[/quoteost_uid0]
How does Crusher apply to that, exactly?

What about Lt. Carey?[/colorost_uid0]