The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > Science Fiction
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #161  
Old 03-27-2020, 09:21 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

That doesn't fly. On numerous occasions the computer has given the option of dozens of variations for a given food. Like I've said before, the problem is the writer's inability to grasp that it would be child's play to program the computer such that when Picard asks for soup, the replicator makes soup according to Picard's presets, etc.


Whenever someone complains about replicated food, it's not just the taste, but the whole experience. The smell is off, the texture is off, the "mouthfeel" is off, etc.


Notice that you don't see this problem with the food slots in TOS. They didn't create alcohol because the technology wasn't good enough yet.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #162  
Old 03-27-2020, 05:29 PM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
Notice that you don't see this problem with the food slots in TOS. They didn't create alcohol because the technology wasn't good enough yet.
Probably because they were drunk all the time.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #163  
Old 04-12-2020, 02:38 AM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,970
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

Quote:
Lal: They keep saying, "Your daddy is a walking thesaurus."
Data: Those little punks, rapscallions, miscreants, delinquents....
This one always gets me.
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #164  
Old 04-15-2020, 05:52 AM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
That doesn't fly. On numerous occasions the computer has given the option of dozens of variations for a given food. Like I've said before, the problem is the writer's inability to grasp that it would be child's play to program the computer such that when Picard asks for soup, the replicator makes soup according to Picard's presets, etc.

Whenever someone complains about replicated food, it's not just the taste, but the whole experience. The smell is off, the texture is off, the "mouthfeel" is off, etc.
Dozens of variations... if the user of the replicator cares to figure them out. Some might just like to whine and not actually care to figure out how to use it. See also: Janeway's burned meatloaf from the replicator.

It also might be a little bit of atmospheric difference. To use a real world example, the reason why there's so many jokes about airplane food is that pressurized cabins make food taste blander and less textured. Considering space travel is the same, the writers could be interpreting replicator food as the 24th century equivalent of airplane food. There could be some logic to it, but it may be horse hockey.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #165  
Old 05-13-2020, 03:29 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

Regarding Janeway's burnt meatloaf, I'd assume that it was a failed customization. There must be a department at Starfleet Headquarters for upgrading the replicator menu. Each selection must be perfected for use with standard equipment using standard replicator base material (no Soylent Green jokes, please). If Janeway tries to modify the base recipe without fully considering the interactions (the virtual humidity, heat, etc.), disaster could result.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #166  
Old 05-13-2020, 04:36 PM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Kathryn Janeway: scourge of the Borg and butcher of replicator meals.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #167  
Old 05-26-2020, 09:37 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

Wow, I knew I was behind, but not two months! I guess the current crisis has really upset our schedules, huh?

March 26, 1990, "Allegiance"

Fiver (by Derek)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

(One of the other bed occupants is also in a Starfleet engineering uniform. she is a green-tinged alien)

Mitena Haro is a Bolian. I don't expect everyone to know all Trek races on sight (I sure don't), but Bolians are common enough that I expect Chakoteya to know what they are.

HARO: Captain Picard. We studied your missions at the Academy Mitena Haro, first year cadet, Starfleet Academy.

We've seen other officers use rank+posting location as an introduction, but I'm confused as to why you'd need to specify Starfleet Academy here. If she was in a special program at one of the annexes I might be able to understand such clarification, but not here. For that matter, just "Cadet Mitena Haro" seems adequate. Don't mind my nitpicking, let's move on...

PICARD 2: There will be no further communication off this ship without my prior authorisation.

It occurs to me that it's not like there's only one "phone line" to and from the ship. The researchers on board would need to be in contact with Starfleet Medical, Starfleet Engineering, various other research outposts, etc. While it may be the captain's prerogative to declare radio silence, there would have to be some sort of justification for it that would be reflected in Starfleet orders, ship reports, etc. Eventually someone would notice that routine data streams from the Enterprise had ceased and ask Starfleet Command what's going on.

PICARD 2: I don't like keeping you in the dark, but for the next few days I may not be able to be as communicative as usual. It may make things difficult for you.

Wouldn't Riker wonder why? Lie and say that Starfleet Command has issued secret orders and all will be revealed in time!

PICARD: What's your best area of study?
HARO: Impulse propulsion systems. I'm very good with field coils.

Insert typical Nate Treknobabble speculation here.

PICARD: That I can't answer. The Bolians are maintaining an uneasy truce with the Moropa, are they not?
HARO: That's right. But this doesn't look like Moropa technology and, even assuming the Moropa wanted me, what would they want with either of you?

If this was the days of TOS I could understand Federation members having individual treaties with other planets (see "Journey to Babel"), but not the TNG era. The Federation would be much more monolithic.

THOLL: I've never even heard of the Moropa. My race has no enemies.
PICARD: None? In the last three hundred years of Mizarian history, your planet has been conquered six times!
THOLL: And we've survived by not resisting. Mizarians value peace above confrontation.

"My race has no enemies" seems like an inaccurate description of Mizarian interplanetary relations. There's another rant to be made here, but let's stick with "we don't attack other races" does not equal "other races would never have a reason to attack us."

PICARD 2: I was wondering, Mister La Forge. What's our engine efficiency status?
LAFORGE: Operating at ninety three percent, sir.
PICARD 2: That's very good, but I would like to increase the efficiency to ninety five percent.
LAFORGE: No problem, Captain, I'll get right on it.

This seems low for the flagship. The E-D warp core is the most advanced in Starfleet right now, has Geordi been skipping some proverbial oil changes?

ESOQQ: The Chalnoth have no use for laws or governments! We are strong. We obey no one.

Ugh. Thinking like this would prevent the invention of warp drive. Even Klingons know that cooperation is necessary for the greater good.

CRUSHER: Why did you come in? Your annual physical isn't due for another month.
PICARD 2: Well, usually you have to remind me, then badger me, and finally order me to report. For once I thought I'd save you the trouble.

Yeah, that's not suspicious at all, is it? I don't like it when imposters "pass" exams just to prove "I'm not crazy, honest!"

THOLL: Picard is it wise to attempt an escape?
PICARD: It's imperative.
THOLL: Why? Our captors haven't mistreated us.
HARO: We've been kidnapped, locked in a room. You don't think that's mistreatment?
THOLL: They haven't hurt us, have they?

Sheesh, talk about doormats. Is this guy an Organian in disguise?

PICARD 2: Would it be simpler if I were not your commanding officer?
CRUSHER: Simpler, perhaps, but that's not the only issue. I guess, right now, I'm comfortable with our relationship just the way it is.

There's a discussion to be had here. What other issues would Beverly have? Is she still "off the market" due to loyalty to Jack? He's been dead thirteen years. She'll have other boyfriends during the series. Does she blame Picard for Jack's death? We don't really see any indication of that, it was Wesley who went through that period. Is she indicating that she can see having a relationship with Picard, but not yet?

ESOQQ: Why should we believe you?
HARO: Captain Picard's put his life at stake for others many times. The primitive culture on Mintaka Three, the Wogneer creatures in the Ordek Nebula.

Nice namedrop for "Who Watches the Watchers." We don't hear about the Wogneer creatures anywhere else. A third example would've been nice, it's too bad that the Cardassians haven't been invented yet.

First officer's log, supplemental. Although we're still eighteen hours from the Lonka pulsar, the Captain has ordered us to slow to one half impulse. He has offered no explanation.

So the ship went from Warp Two to half impulse. That's only a factor of about 40, so eighteen hours turns into over three hundred days. Lowering to Warp One (almost 200 hours) would've been adequate. You'd think this imposter could sabotage the engines somehow to justify Warp One. Furthermore, why would Picard 2 ask about engine efficiency if he's not going to actually use them?

RIKER: What is our mission?
PICARD 2: I'm under no obligation to tell you that.
RIKER: If you don't, you force me to take command of this vessel.
PICARD 2: On what grounds?
RIKER: You are endangering this ship for no reason.
PICARD 2: No reason you're aware of.
RIKER: That's not good enough. Your behaviour has been erratic.

I'm not kidding, couldn't these aliens have fabricated a top-secret captains eyes-only transmission to justify this stuff?

DATA: Captain, number four shield has failed. Increasing power to number three shield to compensate.

And he's not recommending leaving the vicinity-why? I'd call a failed shield emitter enough reason to leave, wouldn't you?

PICARD: Why did you choose to study the concepts of authority and leadership?
ALIEN 4: Because our species has no such concepts.
ALIEN 1: As we are all identical, distinctions among ourselves are meaningless. Hence we have no leaders no followers.

I see no evidence of a hive mind, therefore there must be differences between them that would lead to "leaders" and "followers". This plot really would've fit better in TOS.

ALIEN 1: We were merely curious. We meant no harm.
ALIEN 4: We did not, after all, injure you in any way.
PICARD: Imprisonment is an injury, regardless of how you justify.

Exactly. Too few people think that the only possible injury or punishment is physical.

The Fiver

ata: I'm picking up a power fluctuation from the Captain's quarters.
Riker: Heh heh. Looks like that exploding replicator finally paid off. Worf, go get the body.

We've seen missing first lines, but a missing first letter? Weird.

Tholl: What are you doing?
Picard: I saw this in a movie once. We transmit a whole bunch of prime numbers, then send them a copy of Hitler introducing the 1936 Olympics, then --

Is this Hitler thing a reference to something?

"Picard": Would you like a nice, romantic dinner in my quarters?
Crusher: I have a feeling we'll be feeding the 'shippers more than ourselves.
"Picard": Might as well throw them a bone once a season or so.

Precisely.

"Picard": Should I just be all romantic and sweep you off your feet?
Crusher: Are you sure that would be P/C?
"Picard": Good point. Maybe you'd better leave.
P/Cers: That was it?

Wouldn't the shippers want the real Picard, not a fake one here?

Memory Alpha

* Second appearance of a Bolian. That's probably why "Haro" looks so bad (I also thought that female Bolians are also bald...)

Nitpicker's Guide

* The fake Picard was based on the results from his last physical eleven months ago, wouldn't the readings be different?
* The fake Haro says that imprisonment itself is mistreatment, but the other aliens are surprised at the idea. Contradiction much?
* The fake Picard orders a round of ales "on him." Since when do people pay for their drinks at Ten Forward? Putting aside "the Federation doesn't use money" issues, wouldn't these be synthales which are free from the replicator, not the real stuff that Guinan would have to charge for?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #168  
Old 05-27-2020, 05:13 AM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
Tholl: What are you doing?
Picard: I saw this in a movie once. We transmit a whole bunch of prime numbers, then send them a copy of Hitler introducing the 1936 Olympics, then --

Is this Hitler thing a reference to something?
Contact. Either pick the book by Carl Sagan, or the movie with Jodie Foster. In this case, probably the book because I don't remember anything about prime numbers in the film, though it's been a while.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #169  
Old 05-29-2020, 02:24 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

The prime numbers were in the actual episode.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #170  
Old 05-29-2020, 10:12 PM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Well, then.

Taking a speculative guess, probably the movie. If it was Zeke, I would have guessed the book, though.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #171  
Old 06-27-2020, 05:24 PM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,970
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

I think the movie had square numbers instead maybe?
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #172  
Old 07-28-2020, 03:29 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

I really gotta catch up next month....


I'm sorry, but life gets more complicated during pandemics. I'm sure you've noticed....
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #173  
Old 07-30-2020, 04:03 PM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,970
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

No worries, I appreciate you doing this at all!
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #174  
Old 12-15-2020, 04:01 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

Yikes, am I behind. Have I mentioned that I went back to school yet? Between school and work I'm insanely busy. This is finals week, hopefully next week I can catch up. Or at least start to.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #175  
Old 01-07-2021, 08:19 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

April 2nd, 1990, "Captain's Holiday"

Fiver (by Marc)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

First officer's log, Stardate 43745.2. We have departed Gemaris Five, where for the past two weeks Captain Picard has been serving as mediator in a trade dispute between the Gemarians and their nearest neighbour, the Dachlyds.

You know, with all the times that ambassadors have hijacked the Enterprise in TOS for this sort of mission, I do wonder why Picard was needed for this mission. I get that the captain of the flagship has to be able to serve as an ambassador in a pinch, but this doesn't seem like "a pinch", this seems more like Riva or Sarek territory. Furthermore, even if Picard was needed here, was the Enterprise? Surely they could go charting a nearby sector and leave Picard with a security detachment and a shuttle (or even that mythical Captain's Yacht, the Calypso).

RIKER: The place is called Risa, and believe me, Captain, it is a paradise. Warm tropical breezes, exotic food. Nothing to do but sit around all day and enjoy the quiet. And then
PICARD + RIKER: The women.
PICARD: Of course.
RIKER: I'm sure you would find their sybaritic outlook on life very appealing.
PICARD: Oh, I'm sure.

Picard doesn't know what Risa is? It certainly seems like Risa is the sort of place that the entire Federation (within a rounding error) already knows about. Furthermore, if the crew wants Picard to take a vacation so bad, wouldn't it be a matter of public record what kind of places he went to on previous leaves? Incidentally, "sybaritic" means "hedonistic", don't ask me why they used such an obscure word.

PICARD: Unfortunately, this vessel is about to undergo extensive repairs requiring my personal supervision.

What? You'll have to do better than that, Jean-Luc.

TROI: Will, I've just had some terrific news.
RIKER: Really?
TROI: There's an excellent chance my mother may be joining us on Starbase twelve.
PICARD: Your mother?
TROI: She's returning home from a conference on Achrady Seven, and she's going to try to rearrange her schedule so she can spend some time visiting with us.
RIKER: That's wonderful, Deanna.
TROI: She mentioned how much she was looking forward to seeing you again, Captain.


Funny, but cruel. Which I suppose makes it more funny.

RIKER: Is something wrong, Captain?
PICARD: Tell me, Number One, is the entire crew aware of this little scheme to send me off on holiday?
RIKER: I believe there are two ensigns stationed on deck thirty nine who know nothing about it.

Cute joke, but the really out-of-the-way ensigns would either be on Deck 42 or in the nacelle rooms.

WORF: Captain, I would feel better if you would allow me to assign a security officer to you. We will be out of communication range when we leave orbit.

Seriously? I know that Worf can be overprotective, but this is ridiculous. Plus I thought that Risa was a Federation world and would have, y'know, a subspace transmitter? Plus I'd imagine that Risa is important enough to have a starship in orbit at all times. This plot is starting to sound more like it would fit in the age of TOS.


__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #176  
Old 01-07-2021, 08:21 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

JOVAL: Do you seek Jamaharon?
PICARD: I don't even know what it means. The Horga'hn is for a friend.

This selective translation is starting to annoy me. Is the substitution of "Jamaharon" for "sex" supposed to make this more family friendly? Because if so, it's not working.
PICARD: Well, any woman who can beat a Ferengi at his own game bears watching.

VASH: I'll take that as another compliment. I'm flattered.

I never did like the Vash/Picard relationship. It never made sense. At least on Stargate they devoted the time to making Vala and Daniel work. Besides, we all know that Picard is attracted to redheads. Riker would've made much more sense in this role.

The Fiver

Ajur: Computer, list all Starfleet officers presently vacationing on Risa.
Risan Computer: Officers Dulmer, Lucsly, Braxton, Ducane and Daniels.


I can't imagine Dulmer and Lucsly vacationing on Risa. They seem like "private holodeck program" kind of guys.

Troi: Captain, I've just arranged a week's vacation for you on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet.
Picard: Out of the question! Only oversexed junior crewmen go to places like that!
Troi: Would you prefer Argelius II or Rubicun III?
Picard: No -- still too hedonistic for my taste.
Riker: What about Risa? I've heard that it's a paradise for intellectuals.
Picard: Oh, very well. Counselor, book me there for two days and two nights.
Riker: Pff-fff-fff-fft....
Picard: Number One, are you trying to keep a straight face about something?
Riker: Who, me sir?

Nice overdose of references.

Joval: Do you seek jamaharon?
Picard: You mean like that Curzon guy who just got carried out of here on a stretcher? No thanks.


It stands to reason that Picard would know of Curzon Dax. Of course, Curzon won't die until a year after this, but close enough for fiving work, right?

Picard: Do you have all the necessary gear?
Vash: Yup. Backpack, pistols, thigh holsters, shorts, tank top and sunglasses for me; a bullwhip, a revolver and a floppy hat for you.
Picard: Tell me again where you got your archaeology training?

An Indiana Jones/Lara Croft teamup would be epic.

Memory Alpha

* Last appearance of an Andorian until Enterprise.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #177  
Old 01-08-2021, 08:45 PM
Flying Gremlin's Avatar
Flying Gremlin Flying Gremlin is offline
The moron they built to make you an idiot
Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 254
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
You know, with all the times that ambassadors have hijacked the Enterprise in TOS for this sort of mission, I do wonder why Picard was needed for this mission. I get that the captain of the flagship has to be able to serve as an ambassador in a pinch, but this doesn't seem like "a pinch", this seems more like Riva or Sarek territory. Furthermore, even if Picard was needed here, was the Enterprise? Surely they could go charting a nearby sector and leave Picard with a security detachment and a shuttle (or even that mythical Captain's Yacht, the Calypso).
Considering how little ambassadors there has been in TNG, this actually doesn't surprise me as much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
What? You'll have to do better than that, Jean-Luc.
Flimsy excuses for a captain to not go on vacation is a Starfleet tradition.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the Great View Post
This selective translation is starting to annoy me. Is the substitution of "Jamaharon" for "sex" supposed to make this more family friendly? Because if so, it's not working.
I always thought that this word was one that didn't have a direct translation. Kind of like how petaQ is never translated, but the translations of "useless" or "garbage" has been used by Klingons multiple times.
__________________
8 years to register, and my biggest notable so far is that Zeke messed up my user title/avatar association.
Professional thread necromancer, because this place needs to LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!
Reply With Quote
  #178  
Old 02-19-2021, 12:51 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

April 23rd, 1990, "Tin Man"

Let's get this out of the way up front. I hate Tam Elbrun. He gives a bad name to the mentally abnormal everywhere. If this guy has proven over and over that dealing with humanoids stresses him out and yields unpredictable and undesirable results, don't make him deal with humanoids!

Transcript
Memory Alpha
Fiver (by Marc)

The Episode

Captain's log, Stardate 43779.3. The Enterprise is preparing detailed exospheric charts of the Hayashi system. Although tedious, this endeavour is the first step toward planet colonisation.

The exosphere is the boundary between atmosphere and interplanetary space. I'm not sure how you "chart" them, or what they have to do with colonization. Furthermore, this does not seem like work the Enterprise should be doing. A science vessel (or even a series of probes) can handle this sort of thing. You'd think a seismographic analysis would be more up the Enterprise's alley, and it would still be a precolonization step.

DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Sorry to sneak up on you like that, Jean Luc
PICARD: Robert, why didn't you inform us?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Out here, you never know who's listening. Keeps you on your toes, anyway. Hey, Will. Will, you getting soft on that luxury liner?
PICARD: So, old friend. How are you?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Well, you know, they send you Galaxy Class boys out here to the far reaches. Me, I'm just hauling my butt back and forth between starbases.
PICARD: But not today.
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: No, not today.

I like exchanges like this. It makes the show feel more real when it shows that the crew knows others in the fleet that aren't old love interests.

PICARD: If time is so important, why didn't they transmit the orders by subspace?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: They're worried about Romulan eavesdropping on this one.


The idea that Romulans can detect intership communications several sectors away from the Neutral Zone is disturbing. Furthermore, how would you keep subspace signals confined to a volume smaller than a star system? Are shorter distances easier to encrypt?

DATA: I am Data. An android.
TAM: Incredible, an android. I can't read you at all. It's like you're not there.


It's stated outright that Tam is a stronger telepath than usual. When Data has emotions Troi can read him. There's a whole discussion to be had here about how the emotion chip alters the frequency or whatever of Data's natural thoughts. My point is that Tam should get SOMETHING from Data, even if it's static instead of the music of emotions.

TAM: To communicate with it by subspace. Of course. Linguacode, universal translation, all that. It won't work. Tin Man is too different.

I suddenly wonder if the whale probe could talk to Tin Man. Or the Galaxy's Child species (the Gekli, FYI). Or a Horta, for that matter. Or a Sheliak, or a Tholian, or a Medusan, or...

PICARD: They claim that sector of space where Beta Stromgren is located.
WORF: The Romulans claim all that is in their field of vision.

I'm not sure about how accurate this is. The Romulans want to conquer, sure, but Worf's remark seems like it would be more applicable to the Dominion or the other zealot races.

DATA: That is correct. Starbase one two three has detected two D'daridex class cruisers on an intercept course.

You know, I'd expect Chakoteya to know how to spell D'deridex. While it's nice to know the ship's classes of other races, this episode doesn't seem like the place to do it.

Meaningless aside, The Romulans aren't really a part of this episode in any meaningful context beyond "bad guys", we don't need to know more about their culture. It could've just as easily been the Ferengi or the Breen for their role in this episode.

WESLEY: But Commander, if it is a Romulan ship, with their cloaking device we shouldn't pick them up at all.
LAFORGE: Unless they're pulling so much power for something else that they can't fully cloak.


I like this touch, too bad it wasn't used more often.

TAM: Lonely? I can hear everything that everyone on this ship thinks. No one besides you seems to be missing my charming
TROI: You want them to dislike you. Why?
TAM: Because I'm not a nice man. Okay, okay. Because they scare me. They're too many minds. I can't shut them out. I never could learn. All their loves, their hates, their fears, their needs. It's like a tide that never ebbs. I could drown.

A nice touch. But you can be lonely even when surrounded by people. I know that I've felt it from time to time.


__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #179  
Old 02-19-2021, 12:51 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

LAFORGE: I'm working on it. Computer, reconfigure structural integrity power to feed inner deflector grid.
COMPUTER: Unable to comply. Requested reroute would compromise operational safety limits.
LAFORGE: To hell with the limits. Override.

Well he's being an idiot. Structural integrity fields and inertial dampeners should be on top of the "never turn these off" list.

TAM: Nice. A little Spartan.
DATA: Spartan?
TAM: Lots of work space, not much room to live.


It's Season Three, this bit where Data doesn't have instant recall of the entire dictionary has overstayed its welcome. If it was ever welcome at all, that is.

DATA: It is indeed laid out as a vessel with what appear to be corridors and chambers. An internal environment suitable for carbon based life forms is being maintained, yet there is no evidence of a crew aboard. Tin Man is a living being which has been bred or has adapted itself to serve a purpose. I find that interesting.

I could rant for quite awhile about the implications of a lifeform modifying itself to serve humanoid needs. The sheer variety of neural systems that would have to operate independently and in parallel are just the tip of the iceberg. I kind of prefer the idea of one guy forming a symbiotic relationship with one ship.

TAM: No! No! We're not the target. It's Tin Man.
PICARD: What do you mean? Do they intend to destroy it?
TAM: Those are their orders if they can't secure the alien.


And how exactly would the Romulans "secure" Gomtuu in such a short amount of time? For the fun of it, I wanted to compare the size of Gomtuu to the space between the upper and lower hulls of a Romulan warbird, but we don't have a size for Gomtuu. Although that would be a cool sight, tractor beams acting as cage bars trapping Gomtuu between the hulls. The only problem would be getting into warp...

LAFORGE: I know. Okay, first thing we need to do is get the main computer working right.
RIKER: No, we fix the shields first.
LAFORGE: Commander, whatever Tin Man hit us with, it fried circuits I thought were unfryable.


Maybe you could get a basic shield bubble without the main computer, but I wouldn't want to take the ship into battle with Romulans with a basic shield bubble. Then again, the entire point of having three computer cores is to have a backup in case something happens. Are you telling me that Gomtuu's pulse knocked out the connections from all THREE cores? Then again, you'd think Data would have a hotkey to isolate one of the cores in case of an unknown energy pulse approaching the ship...


__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #180  
Old 02-19-2021, 12:52 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,998
Default

LAFORGE: But shields won't help if that star explodes.

I wonder if metaphasic shielding could withstand the force. Probably not, but maybe if you modified them...

ROMULAN [on viewscreen]: We have monitored the destruction of our sister ship by the star creature. We claim right of vengeance. We will destroy the alien. If you interfere, we will destroy you as well.

This "right of vengeance" thing seems more like a Klingon thing, doesn't it?

The Fiver

Riker: Why "Tin Man"? Is it because the probe's data shows that this organic spacecraft doesn't have a heart?
Elbrun: No, it's because nobody liked the first code name that was proposed. They all said that "Species 8472" sounded really dumb.

It does. I get that the Borg uses numerical designations, but you'd think Kes or Seven could reveal what they call themselves. Or, y'know, Janeway could've asked them when they assumed human form...

Elbrun: Tin Man was hit by some high-energy cosmic rays.
Picard: They penetrated his body and irradiated the crew?
Elbrun: No, but they made him sneeze and... well, you can imagine the rest.


Well, that's morbid.

Elbrun: Tin Man existed symbioticaly with his crew. I'm going to take their place.
Data: You must return with me to the Enterprise.
Elbrun: No, this is where I belong. At long last, all the voices are silent; only Tin Man speaks to me now.
Data: Intriguing. It is the first time I have heard anyone claim that mono is superior to multi-channel surround sound.

That joke didn't really age well...

Picard: Data? How did you get back here? Where's Tam Elbrun? What happened to Tin Man?
Data: It is a long story, sir. To answer your last question first, Tin Man stated that he had finally achieved his ambition to "join with a carbon-based unit and find the Creator."
Riker: And what about Tam? Should we report him as a casualty?
Data: Listing him as "missing" might be more appropriate.

I find the V'Ger analogue a bit of a stretch, but okay...


__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.