April 1

[BR48]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Five-Minute Average Joe was hilarious! Zeke, I now officially forgive you for every delay FMV's ever had, or ever will have. This one fiver balances it all.

My favorite parts:
[quoteost_uid0]Host: Go date, Beka babe. I promise you'll like 'em. And if you don't, you get to kill as many as you want.
Contestants: WHAT?
Beka: Score![/quoteost_uid0]
Gotta love Beka.

[quoteost_uid0]Sheridan: Yes, you're right. None of us has the right to force his opinion on others. No matter how powerful you are, it's not your business to decide how other beings or races will live their -- GAK!
Beka: Oh, thank God. I mean... will he be okay?
Host: Don't worry, sugarplum. Every few minutes or so he pulls a Jennifer Love Hewitt's career and dies. You just need to kick him like so until he --
Sheridan: Independence! Morals and right and wrong and... where was I?
Host: Dead.
Sheridan: Oh, good. Nothing serious. [/quoteost_uid0]
Good old speechifying, coming-back-from-the-dead John Sheridan. Although I was dissapointed when I realised that Beka didn't kill him.

[quoteost_uid0]Beka: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
Scorpius: (under the table) Actually, John's concerns are quite sensible.[/quoteost_uid0]
Pure gold.

[quoteost_uid0]Beka: You know, I live on a spaceship.
Doggett: Sure you do, ma'am. Sure you do. [/quoteost_uid0]
:lol:

[quoteost_uid0]Host: That's true, kitty cat, but we just couldn't say no to Mr. Ubermenschen here. Just ask the two casting directors who tried.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Tyr: I find that my requests are given higher priority when they are emphasized with armaments. [/quoteost_uid0]
Great job with Tyr. Funny and completely in character. You even managed to maintain the character's voice without sacrificing the comedy at all. Color me impressed.

[quoteost_uid0]Crichton: Scorpius is hiding there, isn't he? Isn't he?
Scorpius: (from the closet) Don't be ridiculous, John.[/quoteost_uid0]
Some jokes are even funnier the second time around, even in a single fiver. This is one of them.

[quoteost_uid0]Host: Ouch! Down he goes. Looks like steroid-boy is the champion.
Angel: I thought I was --
Host: You know what I mean, Angelcakes.[/quoteost_uid0]
Yet another Angel reference. I think there's been one in almost every FMC. I like this trend.

[quoteost_uid0]Tyr: Surprise challenger? I heard of no -- (KLONK)
Jim Kirk: Surprise.[/quoteost_uid0]
James Kirk. You just can't be the original.

[quoteost_uid0]Host: .... So I leave you with this final song, sung by a very good friend of mine....
Angel: Wise men say... only fools rush in... but I can't helllllp falling in lllllove with you....[/quoteost_uid0]
Angel singing! The perfect end to a fabulous fiver. My hat is off to you Zeke.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Oh no! John Sheridan-who-cant-die is coming back even in fivers!

What have we done!

*runs screaming*[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thanks to BR48 for quoting almost the whole Cheeser. Now I won't have to.

[quoteost_uid0]Host: Hi there, all you boys and girls in La-La Land. I'm Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan, but you can call me Frankie, or Lorne if you want me to answer.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol:

[quoteost_uid0]Beka: "In the closet."
Crichton: Scorpius is hiding there, isn't he? Isn't he?
Scorpius: (from the closet) Don't be ridiculous, John.[/quoteost_uid0]
Now why can I just [iost_uid0]hear[/iost_uid0] Scorpy say that? [/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well, according to the Dawson's Creek cheeser, it's Malcolm that's in the closet ....

Loved the AJ. Poor Becca--with all of SFdom to choose from she still almost gets stuck with Tyr.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thank you all for the great feedback to 5MAJ. Â The next new slice is up, and geez, it's long.

(Ten quatloos to whoever remembers where "schrok" is from.)[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Dear Sally: I know you don't exist yet, because the monks won't change everyone's memories to include you for another year or so, but I've decided to narrate my college years and I needed someone to narrate them to. It would be silly to just spontaneously record "logs" or something. So you're elected.
Sally: No problem.
Stop that.

...
Felicity: You're hot, Noel.
David: I'm David.
Felicity: Right.
After another 50 or so of those Freudian slips, it occurred to me I might actually want Noel. Besides, by then David was getting his blood sucked on the side, and I wasn't too happy about that. So I dumped him.
David: Ow!
Out the window.
David: GAK!
From fifty stories up. I didn't like him much.

...
Campaign Posters: Vote for Felicity Porter or we'll club 5000 baby seals with homeless people.
The voters called my bluff and elected Richard, who had run on a platform of clubbing me with a baby seal.
Felicity: Ow!
Baby Seal: Urp.[/quoteost_uid0]

:lol: One of the silliest yet![/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Schrok? B5?[/colorost_uid0]

[BR48]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0](Ten quatloos to whoever remembers where "schrok" is from.)[/quoteost_uid0]
It sounds a bit like the "strength ritual" chant from Galaxy Quest...

Anyway, I liked this fiver a lot. Â It's based on BTVS, and that's [iost_uid0]kind of[/iost_uid0] like an Angel reference (and there were references to the character of Angel of course).

Favorite part:
[quoteost_uid0]Most important, there was Noel, the sun god.
Noel: No, I explained this already. "R. A." stands for residence advisor. I'm not the Egyptian god Ra.[/quoteost_uid0]
ROFL! Â Best quote ever.

Other favorites:
[quoteost_uid0]Besides, by then David was getting his blood sucked on the side, and I wasn't too happy about that. So I dumped him.
David: Ow!
Out the window.
David: GAK!
From fifty stories up. I didn't like him much.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]The voters called my bluff and elected Richard, who had run on a platform of clubbing me with a baby seal.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Ben dumped me.
Felicity: Ow!
But from only three stories. And I landed on Noel, knocking him out long enough for Meghan to restore his soul, so it was all good.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Felicity: Nooooo! Why did he have to get caught in that fire?
Elena: You should have talked him out of taking a tour of the gasoline-soaked rag warehouse. Or at least not given Ben that match.[/quoteost_uid0]

And the ending is just awesome, especially the last half:
[quoteost_uid0]Javier was still not Giles.
Javier: Look at me! I'm riding a horse!
You're NOT GILES. Noel didn't die and actually ended up running a law firm, of all things.
Noel: You may have heard otherwise, but I swear, this firm is not evil. Why, just yesterday we organized a save-the-baby-seals effort. We threw homeless people at the guys who were clubbing them.
And me? Well, I see a bright future ahead.
Ben: Can't see the future, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's night.
Yessir, a bright, bright future.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]That was awesome, Zeke! I loved it.

[quoteost_uid0][iost_uid0]Then we did a Twilight Zone parody.[/iost_uid0]
Felicity: Who is Number One?
Noel: You are Number Six.
Felicity: Who is Number One?
Noel: You are Number Six.
[iost_uid0]I said a Twilight Zone parody![/iost_uid0]
Felicity: Submitted for your approval: Who is Number One?
Noel: You are now entering... Number Six.[/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]Then Ben got this girl named Lauren pregnant. He didn't take it well at first.[/quoteost_uid0]
I don't know anything about the show, but shouldn't this mean that Ben is Angel instead of Spike?[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Woo, a Prisoner reference!

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Hotaru]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Very funny. I would quote the best parts, but I would end up quoting everything. Good job![/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quoteost_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000ost_uid0](Ten quatloos to whoever remembers where "schrok" is from.)[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]It's either Steve Allen or [iost_uid0]A Piece of the Action[/iost_uid0].[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Nobody's got "schrok" so far. Hint: It's a reference to something on the site, and it's pretty obscure.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I notice you managed to work "bizingo" in there.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wee, a fiver of the complete series of Buffy. :bigsmile:

I'm not going to quote any scenes, for obvious reasons which are already stated.

Great fiver. [/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Two new cheesers are now up, by authors other than me for a change: IJD GAF and Sa'ar Chasm. Give it up.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Batman: Great Scott! Someone is trying to call us on our giant computer.
Robin: Holy unexpected plot complication, Batman!
Batman: Robin, every time you say that, God kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.
Villager: Super Friends! Please help us! Our village has been attacked by miniature giant space hamsters!
Robin: I wonder how he knew they're both miniature and giant.
Batman: I wonder how a village in Ubonga has two-way visual communication.

...
Gleek: Ook eek eeek ook ook! (Translation: I don't believe someone actually got paid to write this.)[/quoteost_uid0]
I'd like to say I don't believe it either, but :eyeroll:...

[quoteost_uid0]Batman: Thank goodness you're here, Superman. Robin has discovered that the voodoo vampire who possessed the space hamsters was really an octopus mutated by exposure to the leaking reactor of a nuclear submarine.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: :lol: That sounds exactly like something from the Word-at-a-time thread!




[quoteost_uid0]April: I feel kinda woozy. I remember a bunch of marketable coolness coming from overly mysterious figures. It was... too much to handle.
Michelangelo: Gnarly!
April: AAAAH! (faints)
Raphael: (SLAP) No more fainting! It interferes with the ability to have interesting dialogue.

...
Shredder: I know that! I've been watching the whole episode on my spooky monitor of omniscience.
Human Rocksteady: Also, I've kinda been wonderin'... why's my speaker credit so weird?
Shredder: Never mind that! Were those shadowy figures turtles?
Human Rocksteady: Shouldn't you know with your monitor there?
Shredder: Idiot! I must know whether they were turtles!
Human Rocksteady: Why? What does it really matter?
Shredder: It doesn't! Mwahahaha![/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[Hotaru]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Batman: Thank goodness you're here, Superman. Robin has discovered that the voodoo vampire who possessed the space hamsters was really an octopus mutated by exposure to the leaking reactor of a nuclear submarine.[/quoteost_uid0] That sounds exactly like something from the Word-at-a-time thread![/quoteost_uid0]

Sadly, I saw an episode where a whale and gaint squid mutated from the leaking reactor of a nuclear sub.[/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Villager:[/bost_uid0] Must you preface every noun with the word "super"?
[bost_uid0]Superman:[/bost_uid0] Somebody's a super grouch today... Ow! Not in the super face![/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Robin:[/bost_uid0] So what should we take to Ubonga? The Batjet, the Batcopter, the Batboat, the Batpanzer or the Batconvertible?
[bost_uid0]Batman:[/bost_uid0] We have a Batconvertible?
[bost_uid0]Robin:[/bost_uid0] Well, I just painted the Barbie convertible black and glued some bat fins on. [/quoteost_uid0]

Just the right amount of gay....

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Wonder Woman:[/bost_uid0] Superman, the space hamsters are attacking Norway now. I'm going to fly there in my invisible jet... just as soon as I remember where I left it. [/quoteost_uid0]

Anyone ever seen the MTV Movie Awards gag like this, with Jack Black as Spider-Man and Sarah Michelle Gellar as Wonder Woman?

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Batman:[/bost_uid0] Okay, before we go, let's make one last equipment check: Bathooks, Bat-Disintegrator Rays, Bat-iPods, portable Batcomputers, Bat-Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters and Bat-Riot Shields... anything we've forgotten?
[bost_uid0]Robin:[/bost_uid0] The space hamsters might have the Baseball of Doom.
[bost_uid0]Batman:[/bost_uid0] You're right... go get the Bat-Bat.[/quoteost_uid0]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Â I needed that....

Also, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Â That takes me back. Â Good stuff.[/colorost_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...
Batman: Okay, before we go, let's make one last equipment check: Bathooks, Bat-Disintegrator Rays, Bat-iPods, portable Batcomputers, Bat-Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters and Bat-Riot Shields... anything we've forgotten?
Robin: The space hamsters might have the Baseball of Doom.
Batman: You're right... go get the Bat-Bat.

yay - 42[/colorost_uid0]