Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top 10 Most Devious Romulan Plots Ever

(Wasnt there something simliar to this one earlier? Or is that the point? )

10. They make people who do Top Ten Lists do the WHOLE list!
9. They team up with The Evil Future Guy to mess up Trek timelines.
8. They created TopHatMan and John.
7. In a very special episode, a Romulan doctor and Phlox help rid Porthos of fleas and they fall in love. The Romulan and Phlox, that is.
6. One day the send a note to the entire crew of Entprise saying, "Anyone seen Porthos lately? BTW, there is special suprise in the chilli, signed , Chef".
5. During the war with the Changlings, they could have said to Sisko, "want to play some baseball?"
4. Romulans introduce The Sims to Picard's Enterprise. The entire ship then is caught playing it, while the Romulans do their thing.
3. Quark.
2. The sneak in certain crewmember/spies who are so quiet they go unnoticed-Mayweather, Hoshi, Jake-but one day they shall rule The Federation!
1. Wesley.

Top Ten Wierd Things You Didnt Know about Forumgoer's TV viewing habits
(be crazy. Be very crazy ) )[/colorost_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"](okay, no more laziness and chaos - from now on, everyone writes the entire TEN-entry lists! like in the good old days...) [/quoteost_uid0]
And how would you enforce that? *is ready to unleash slightly psycho dog to counteract any and all cats* Brings on the cats!

Oh yes, the business at hand...

Top Ten Wierd Things You Didnt Know about Forumgoer's TV viewing habits

10. Knitting during the news.
9. Pigging out on junkfood of choice while reviewing an episode of your show of choice for the purpose of writing a fiver.
8. Studying for a report/assignment that's due in the morning.
7. Sleeping.
6. Commenting on how this or that would never happen in real life...all the while getting strange looks from those around you as you sometimes yell out loud while commenting.
5. Deciding if you should go for your amatuer radio license after watching the movie Frequency way too much.
4. Start thinking of the next Top Ten list.
3. Think about finishing the unfinished current Top Ten list.
2. Feeding of the pets during commercial brakes (or really, really boring parts of whatever you're watching).

Finally...
1. Changing whatever music is playing in the background on your computer's sound system because you installed a TV card in it.

(It's too bad I know a few people that are guilty of a few of these...but then inspiration must come from somewhere right?)

Top Ten really fun ways NX-01 could be used to keep one entertained[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I... don't... have.... time..... to... write... TEN... entries! :O[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten really fun ways NX-01 could be used to keep one entertained


10. Cruise the galaxy with the goal of visiting every life form and insulting them, in alphabetical order
9. Find four other ships and attempt to perform a Kolvoord Starburst
8. Introduce Pringles to the Klingon Empire
7. Start a slammin' rock band and, at the climax of your act, fly it into the sun
6. Smash into Halley's Comet to test the shields (er, hull plating)
5. Drive in reverse until the beeping infuriates your first officer
4. Sneak into the Romulan Empire with a Polaroid camera and find out what the heck they look like, for Pete's sake
3. When no one's looking, swap the nacelles
2. Fleeing the Cylon tyranny, the last battlestar, Galactica, leads a rag-tag fugitive --- what? oh, sorry, wrong show

And the Number One really fun way NX-01 could be used to keep one entertained

1. Buzz Vulcan



Next:
Top Ten Reasons To Separate the Saucer Section[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons To Separate the Saucer Section

10. Picard's French. The French invented the guillotine. Need I say more? Nope!
9. It's considered an honor to be involved in the Humongous Pandimensional Creatures' Annual Frisbee Competition--even if it [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] only as a spare Frisbee.
8. Because it and the nacelle section have been fighting. [iost_uid0]Again.[/iost_uid0] :eyeroll:
7. So you can slam the two pieces back together at Warp 9. Whee!
6. To make the Star Wars fans jealous.
5. To make the DS9 fans jealous.
4. Detached saucer section Use #329: As a coin to flip for space polo and related sports.
3. "Joey, I thought we were playing hide-and-seek with Timmy and Karen. Why have you led me into the engineering section and started trying to separate the ship in half?" "They'll never find us now!"
2. If you were a redshirt dusting the secondary bridge and you heard on the comm that Worf had contracted some medicobabble sickness and was rampaging around the saucer section slicing at people with his bat'leth while singing Klingon opera at the top of his lungs, wouldn't [iost_uid0]you[/iost_uid0] want to do something to save yourself too?
And the Number One reason to separate the saucer section:
1. Wesley's up there!


Next: Top Ten Signs You're Not In The Alpha Quadrant Any More[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Signs You're Not In The Alpha Quadrant Any More

10. You passed a sign that says "Welcome to the Delta Quadrant"
9. You manage to run into Voyager
8. You don't see the "Eat at Joe's" signs anymore

Sorry, cam't hog all the glory for this one[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Uh oh, someone didn't get the memo about carving up the lists like...like...like [iost_uid0]pie[/iost_uid0]...


Top Ten Signs You're Not In The Alpha Quadrant Any More

7. Communicating with Starfleet involves getting up on the roof of the ship and adjusting the antenna
6. Starbucks saturation has thinned out to only one or two per planet
5. Can't get Deanna Troi's new reality show, "He's Hiding Something!"
4. An ugly, obnoxious alien offers you an inebible stew made from some sort of root
3. You meet a laughing Vulcan heading the other way
2. The names of the alien races you meet seem to contain more and more consonants

And The Number One Sign You're Not In The Alpha Quadrant Any More

1. Guinan tells you you're in trouble but won't say why




Next (inspired by the Sybok reference):
Fiendish Plots of Little-Known Siblings of Star Trek Characters

( c'mon, go to town! ) [/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Fiendish Plots of Little-Known Siblings of Star Trek Characters

10. [iost_uid0]Willy Crusher: [/iost_uid0] The less-annoying twin brother of Wesley finally gets Wesley to go away...by convincing him he's got special powers, but really he's jsut stuck in a Holodeck
9. [iost_uid0]Jeana-Lucy Picard:[/iost_uid0] As physisist, she discovered a way to keep Dr. Crusher and Captian Picard from expressing thier love by making the rule that there would only be one romance per Next Gen season...and it would always be with Troi.
8. [iost_uid0]T'Polly:[/iost_uid0] Took over for T'Pol before they went into the Expanse. Goal: To breed with Trip.

ERG!

*edit:Okay, I'll try for 10*

7. [iost_uid0]Principal Snyder:[/iost_uid0] The great-grand nephew of Quark, from when he went back to Area 51. Snyder attempts to take the rating away from Voyager by having a sci-fi show with more sex, less tech talk and way, way more peroxide.
6.[iost_uid0] Riker's Twin Brother: [/iost_uid0]Oh wait, that was done already on DS9...
5.[iost_uid0] Fred Chakotay: [/iost_uid0]Tricked Chakotay by telling him there was great sushi in the Badlands.
4. [iost_uid0] Agatha Crusher: [/iost_uid0]Murdered Mr. Crusher by accident; was actually going after Wesley.
3. [iost_uid0]Smeagol Phlox: [/iost_uid0]To the find the preciousssssssss Vulcan Pon Far enhancer.
2. [iost_uid0]Trip's sister:[/iost_uid0] Really isnt dead; she didnt want to get any more letters from her brother about the "hot Vulcan chick."
1. [iost_uid0]George W. Janeway: [/iost_uid0]Told his sister the Maquis had Weapons of Coffee Destruction

Top Ten Secret Talents of Mayweather, Hoshi, and Jake[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]7. Jimmy Bashir: Is anticipating his revenge for years of shame and defeat as he grows ever-nearer to completing his Self-Rotating-Dartboard.
6. B4: Get his brothers killed off so he can have all the glory for himself, then stop making movies, so they can't come back, either
5. Ronnie Kim: Secretly collected enormous file of embarrasing photos, holograms and documents from Harry's childhood and teenaged years. The moment Harry makes it 'high up there', he'll release them to every planet in the Federation. Still waiting.
4. Jana Chekov: Upon hearing of her brother's acceptence into Starfleet, remodulated his Universal Translator so it would sound as if he has a really funny accent.
3. Odi: Odo's younger sibling has been impersonating Major Kira for over four years. Unfortunately, Odo ran off back to the Gamma Quadrant before Odi could reveal himself and give Odo a goo-attack.
2. Lara Shipman: Reinstalled Voyager's guidance systems backwards. "They'll think they're in a different [iost_uid0]quadrant[/iost_uid0]! They won't figure it out for [iost_uid0]hours![/iost_uid0]"
1. Jimmy Archer: Mad at Jon Archer because [iost_uid0]he[/iost_uid0] wanted to be the one to make Dad proud, etc. Became Mysterious Future Guy.

Next list. A chance to make yourselves handy, guys. Trek technology, and anything else from sci-fi/fantasy, as well as all the usual forum jokes, are all valid:

Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Eep! Double post! Now there are TWO whole lists to choose from
Top Ten Secret Talents of Mayweather, Hoshi, and Jake
Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly.[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Secret Talents Of:

Mayweather:

10. He sings under the shower. For hours.
9. He makes lovely Vulcan Plomeek soup.
8. He's a master ventriloquist.
7. He plays Zero-G gotcha. With phaseball pistols.
6. He installed a "Make sparks" button, and nobody noticed.
5. He's a highly successful Tribble farmer. In an alternate universe, but hey, it still counts, right?
4. He's the unofficial Frappacino Guru.
3. He came out third in the 247th Micrometeroid Golf championship of Andor.
2. He's an amateur dentist.

And No. 1:

1. He wrote "Shut up!: The silent Ensign's Road to Success"

Hoshi:

10. She figured out how to make something edible out of Starfleet Q-Rations. Now, every other Friday is "Deep-fried silver foil day".
9. She plays a mean game of Kasis-Kot.
8. She's the silent owner and lone stockholder of Expanse Tours.
7. When Cpt. Archer failed the traditional greeting ceremony of the Zileations, Hoshi stepped in and saved the day. In her honor, the Zileations introduced the word "hoshik" to their vocabulary, which means "she who spits very, very far".
6. Enterprise slightly changes appearance towards a Hawaiian motif one room at a time, thanks to Hoshi being a closet interior decorator.
5. She was voted "Damsel in Distress" 2150 AND 2154.
4. She's installed an electroshock mechanism in Trip's bed and is slowly conditioning him to stop snoring up the entire starboard section.
3. She stitches all those holes in the jumpsuits.
2. She knows Kung Fu. Nobody has yet asked her to show it, though.

And No. 1:

1. She wrote "I'll be over here:The other silent Ensign's Road to Success"

Jake:

10. He managed to smuggle his novel past the *extremely* PC Federation censors as part of a drinking bet. (Never say "Melsna!" on Tellar.)
9. There's a console on Ops that nobody knows what it's for. Jake installed it.
8. He makes it beep sometimes, too.
7. Those beeps spell out "Spend more time with your son" in subliminal morse.
6. He has the rare mental gift of Gowronesis. When he had a headache, the Klingons declared war upon the Federation.
5. He knows the replicator code for those pine-shaped air fresheners.
4. His fingernails cut themselves.
3. He's a closet DJ.
2. According to the Marduk report, he's the seventh child. Whatever that means.

And No.1:

1. Oomox, with the help of a pair of dog puppies. Don't even ask.

Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly:

10. Use his *other* head.
9. Get a pack of Scalosian coffee.
8. Pay Wesley Crusher to do it. Actually, talking to him probably would suffice...
7. Disregard any tasks that include the letter "g" in their wording - they're trick questions anyway.
6. Stop carving them into stone tablets and get some paper.
5. Level up to a multiple of 5 and use his raise for Intelligence.
4. Stick his head under running water and overclock his brain.
3. Go back in time and dictate the tasks to his great-grandfather, claiming temporal cold war. Pick up sealed envelope from attic and copy notes.
2. Go forward in time to a point where mankind has evolved beyond the need for calculus homework.

And No. 1:

1. Redefine "Finish".

Phew, back with a vengeance and *four* lists!

Next One: Top Ten Inhabitants of the Home for Elderly, Forgotten Villain Species

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Gatac"]Top Ten Secret Talents Of:

Mayweather:

8. He's a master ventriloquist.


Hoshi:

6. Enterprise slightly changes appearance towards a Hawaiian motif one room at a time, thanks to Hoshi being a closet interior decorator.
5. She was voted "Damsel in Distress" 2150 AND 2154.
4. She's installed an electroshock mechanism in Trip's bed and is slowly conditioning him to stop snoring up the entire starboard section.
2. She knows Kung Fu. Nobody has yet asked her to show it, though.


Jake:

9. There's a console on Ops that nobody knows what it's for. Jake installed it.
8. He makes it beep sometimes, too.
7. Those beeps spell out "Spend more time with your son" in subliminal morse.
5. He knows the replicator code for those pine-shaped air fresheners.


Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly:

7. Disregard any tasks that include the letter "g" in their wording - they're trick questions anyway.
4. Stick his head under running water and overclock his brain.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: Those are good ones! (Not that the others aren't funny as well )[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]6. Stop carving them into stone tablets and get some paper.[/quoteost_uid0]

I think this one in particular deserves a quote. [/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Liked this one:
[quoteost_uid0]Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly:

9. Get a pack of Scalosian coffee. [/quoteost_uid0]

Clever. Make sure the paper used is flame-retardant, tho'.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid11]^And avoid paper cuts at all cost![/colorost_uid11]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I am impressed by your industry. Four lists at once! Even better they're almost as funny [iost_uid0]randomized[/iost_uid0]...


Top Ten Secret Talents of Mayweather

10. He managed to smuggle his novel past the *extremely* PC Federation censors as part of a drinking bet. (Never say "Melsna!" on Tellar.)
9. When Cpt. Archer failed the traditional greeting ceremony of the Zileations, Mayweather stepped in and saved the day. In his honor, the Zileations introduced the word "mayweathernik" to their vocabulary, which means "he who spits very, very far".
8. He plays Zero-G gotcha. With phaseball pistols.
7. He knows the replicator code for those pine-shaped air fresheners.
6. He's installed an electroshock mechanism in Trip's bed and is slowly conditioning him to stop snoring up the entire starboard section.
5. His fingernails cut themselves.
4. He's the unofficial Frappacino Guru.
3. He can go back in time and dictate tasks to his great-grandfather, claiming temporal cold war. He then picks up sealed envelope from attic and copy notes.
2. He wrote "I'll be over here:The other silent Ensign's Road to Success"
1. He wrote "Shut up!: The silent Ensign's Road to Success"


Top Ten Secret Talents of Hoshi

10. Use her *other* head.
9. She figured out how to make something edible out of Starfleet Q-Rations. Now, every other Friday is "Deep-fried silver foil day".
8. She sings under the shower. For hours.
7. She's a master ventriloquist.
6. She makes it beep sometimes, too.
5. She was voted "Damsel in Distress" 2150 AND 2154.
4. She's a highly successful Tribble farmer. In an alternate universe, but hey, it still counts, right?
3. She can stick her head under running water and overclock her brain.
2. She stitches all those holes in the jumpsuits.
1. She can go forward in time to a point where mankind has evolved beyond the need for calculus homework.


Top Ten Secret Talents of Jake

10. There's a console on Ops that nobody knows what it's for. Jake installed it.
9. He plays a mean game of Kasis-Kot.
8. He makes lovely Vulcan Plomeek soup.
7. He’ll often get a pack of Scalosian coffee.
6. He's the silent owner and lone stockholder of Expanse Tours.
5. He likes to pay Wesley Crusher to do his chores. Actually, talking to him probably would suffice...
4. Those beeps spell out "Spend more time with your son" in subliminal morse.
3. He installed a "Make sparks" button, and nobody noticed.
2. DS9 slightly changes appearance towards a Hawaiian motif one room at a time, thanks to Jake being a closet interior decorator.
1. When faced with a difficult task, he’ll level up to a multiple of 5 and use his raise for Intelligence.


Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly

10. Disregard any tasks that include the letter "g" in their wording - they're trick questions anyway.
9. Stop carving them into stone tablets and get some paper.
8. He has the rare mental gift of Gowronesis. When he had a headache, the Klingons declared war upon the Federation.
7. He's a closet DJ.
6. He came out third in the 247th Micrometeroid Golf championship of Andor.
5. He knows Kung Fu. Nobody has yet asked him to show it, though.
4. He's an amateur dentist.
3. According to the Marduk report, he's the seventh child. Whatever that means.
2. Redefine "Finish".
1. Oomox, with the help of a pair of dog puppies. Don't even ask.




hee hee hee[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Dear Lord... and I thought the thread was dead! And then came... the avalanche of insanity, And a HILARIOUS insanity it was...

Gatac, are you an android? [/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Gatac, I am in awe. Kudos. All four lists were brilliant. You clearly have way too much free time, while I have way too much calculus homework. See how efficient condensing Trek is?

::Wanders off to ponder opening up a Five-Minute-Calculus subsite::[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Actually, a 5-Minute Science subsite in general wouldn't be too bad.

Why did you throw away the semiconductor? - It had too many holes.

(Trust me, this is hilarious. If you understand semiconductor physics.)

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Inhabitants of the Home for Elderly, Forgotten Villain Species

10. [iost_uid0]The Mindi[/iost_uid0]: Mary Sue-like in nature, their goal was to distract Captian Kirk, Picard, and Sisko and therefore get the Enterprise. When Janeway came along, they became confused and retired.
9. [iost_uid0]Klingoffs[/iost_uid0]: A subspecies of Klingons, dating back to Kirk's Enterprise. Their cranial ridges fell off when they turned 10 yrs old. When a cure was found, the remaining Klingoffs retired.
8. [iost_uid0]Tashayarluns[/iost_uid0]: A misunderstood race of Tasha Yar's Romulan decendants. As a logical explanation for their existense could not be reached, they retired.
7. [iost_uid0]Fernigis[/iost_uid0]: Believed in the supreme power of plants, esspecially ferns; however, their conservation efforts were inline with Federation policy, so they stopped trying to be villians.
6. [iost_uid0]Shrill[/iost_uid0]: A species uses an interconnection of a host and a guest. Are good at nagging, causing doubt, and annoying everyone in site. Retired because people simply started to switch off their translators.
5. [iost_uid0]Vulcants[/iost_uid0] A pessimistic group of logical beings...the result of their logical pessimism led to the belief that everything was selfish. So they all retired, 'cus why not?
4. [iost_uid0]The Morgue[/iost_uid0] A hive of different species whos goal was to assimilate everyone into their blood-sucking ways. Retired to Sunnydale, where they met a nice girl named Buffy.
3. [iost_uid0]Cardass Ians[/iost_uid0]: A cribbage and bridge-playing group of Human seniors who were sick of the pajama-wearing hippies of the Federation. As they were already retired, they then became distracted by the annoying plastic covering on cards.
2. [iost_uid0]UnChanglings[/iost_uid0]: Mantra: Party like it's 1899. Insisted that everyone stay exactly how it was in 1899. However, when they were transported to Pluto, they did not have the technology to fight back. So they retired.
1. [iost_uid0]Threatribble[/iost_uid0]: Humans who multiplied because they were so into theatre. Crusher was temporarly affected by them. Goals was to stop all the fighting and be like the Greeks: Have everything be about theatre. Founded by mysterious 21st century woman named Opium. Retired when they realized duct tape and glue guns did NOT solve all space problems.


Top Ten Theatrical Productions by Star Trek Characters
(feel free to go nuts and do anything with it...real plays, doctored plays, whatever )[/colorost_uid0]