Link Thread

[PointyHairedJedi]

My hair respectfully disagrees with you.

[Nate the Great]

That's random...

[Nate the Great]

What I Won't Do When Directing Shakespeare

Think of it as the Shakespeare version of the Evil Overlord List. Here are a few of my favorite exerpts (there are 359 rules, and some of you may not want to bother):

5. I will not make actors in battle scenes wear knitted chainmail of a color that makes them resemble not so much a medieval warrior as Winnie-the-Pooh.

36. Keanu Reeves will not be allowed near the production.
Nate: Actually this one confuses me. I liked him in Much Ado About Nothing, really!

50. The "to be" speech should not end with the line "from henceforth shall all my thoughts be bloody."
Nate: Apparently Derek isn't the only one with the dirty mind.

296. I will never tell my actors that they don't need to understand the text, they just need to say it.
Nate: Very important. This one isn't even humorous, it's really good advice.

303. I will not present Macbeth with Klingon characterization (no matter how many Trekkies are in the cast).
Nate: You can't appreciate Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon.

321. Any actors should be forbidden from calling anyone "Dude". This also applies to minor characters.
Nate: Aw, dude, that's harsh!

326. I will not costume Henry V in Star Trek uniforms.
Nate: Why Henry V, particularly? (PNQ!)

[Nate the Great]

The following is from a thread over at Nitpicker Central:

I wonder if, in the holosuite, Garak & Bashir hear the same musical score that we the audience hear?
Garak: The music has changed.
Bashir: Yes. That means trouble is approaching.

Hehe. Oh yeah, another plug for Nitpicker Central.

[Nate the Great]

Watch out, it's another PNQ/Link crossover!

The Buttered Cat Paradox!

So, if a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands butter-side down, will you get an antigravity effect by strapping a piece of buttered toast to a cat's back and dropping it?

[PointyHairedJedi]

If only I had a cat to test that out.

*Stares speculatively into the distance*

[Nate the Great]

*The distance stares back, nodding toward a cat suit in the corner*

Hehe.

[PointyHairedJedi]

The Magic Pen game. It uses a basic Newtonian physics engine (apparently), and bearing that in mind you have to draw various shapes in order to get a ball from one area to another. Mostly that involves using gravity, but some of them requite some inventive thinking (there are hinges to play with too).

[Nate the Great]

The Play

Uh, yeah. This is yet another reason why I don't follow collegiate or professional sports.

[PointyHairedJedi]

And there are so many to begin with.

[Nate the Great]

Totally not going there. Sports guys can be fanatics, and if I start a ruckus you may as well start outlining my body in chalk right now.

[Nate the Great]

The Hyrulean Bride

A wonderful fanfic that transposes the plot of The Princess Bride to Hyrule. I should note that this one isn't Link/Zelda shipping, it's Link/Malon. Both are okay with me, as noted in my Ocarina of Time fiver:

Malon: Hi Link! When you grow up you can have Epona! By the way, I'm another female character, so of course, I need to flirt with you.
Link: Sounds good to me. Hey, didn't I marry you in a previous game?
Malon: Shhhh! This is the first game chronologically, remember?
Link: Oh, right, sorry.

[Nate the Great]

Oh, a few provisos to the preceding scene. I've had the niggling desire to set the record straight about this stuff for awhile, so I suppose the fanfic gave me an opening.

1. The idea that Malon is based on Marin from The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening is merely a fan theory held by some that I'd picked up online.
2. I've never beaten LA, much less met Marin, so I wouldn't know.
3. The "prior game marriage" thing was a mistake on my part based on circumstantial and extremely flimsy research into the subject material.
4. I still think that the OOT fiver doesn't reflect my best work. Yes, I'm still beating that dead horse.
5. At the time, OOT (as far as I know) was supposed to be the first game chronologically. Now that it's ten years later, the chronology (official or not) seems to put other games before OOT. The Minish Cap, in particular.

[Nate the Great]

The Wizard of Hyrule

Just a quick screenshot that I thought was cute.

[Nate the Great]

Best Geek Quotes

The second example is the reason why I had to post this link:

"Microsoft: 'You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.'"

The ninth is something I never saw before, but I immediately thought "that is totally an engineer's response!"

"The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be."

The twenty-second seems a little harsh, but I know how much some geeks hate Windows:

"Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

The forty-ninth is something I've seen many times, but that doesn't make it any less clever:

"Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive."

The sixty-ninth is another old one that you can't read too often:

"Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false."

And of course, people who've taken chemistry can appreciate the hundred-and-first:

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

[JVTruman]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

The sixty-ninth is another old one that you can't read too often:

"Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false."

Wasn't that one originally done with Usenet?

[Nate the Great]

Beats me. You see, I really didn't get into the Internet until 2000 or so. We were fully World Wide Web by that time. In fact, it wasn't until I got into online gaming that I fully understood the barriers that text-only surfing poses, both technical and interactive. That one's an interesting story, having to use IP addresses to connect specifically with one other person in this modern age of instant messengers. Besides, I have no doubt that the joke will be altered and updated every time the major Net interaction method changes.

[Nate the Great]

Click!

A riff on the classic James Bond line "Do you expect me to talk?" using a bit of geek humor. Trust me, it's better than it sounds.

[Nate the Great]

Huh?

Well, it IS the Internet Movie Database, so when they say that Patrick Stewart was an early contender for the part of Jafar, but he had to turn it down, much to his regret, I believe it. I try to imagine him as Jafar, and it seems so twisted and yet so right at the same time.

PNQ: Anyone seen him as the villain in the movie Masterminds? Great movie, absolutely brilliant. One line of his that's absolutely great is something like "You know, I'm not a violent man, but I really do think I'm going to have to kill someone."

[Zeke]

The IMDb isn't an unimpeachable source (though this information sounds plausible). There have been some pretty big mistakes on it in the past. It's a problem mostly with articles for upcoming movies, which tend to consist of whatever rumour is submitted to them.