Block 10 - Welcome to the desert of the real

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: We're in a computer?
Morpheus: Is that so hard to believe? Watch what happens when I try to do two things at once (White space turns blue)
Neo: 200 years in the future and you're *still* using Windows ME?[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: We're in a computer?
Morpheus: Is that so hard to believe? Watch what happens when I try to do two things at once (White space turns blue)
Neo: 200 years in the future and you're *still* using Windows ME?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]95 or 98 would be more apropos. Those were [iost_uid0]notorious[/iost_uid0] for blue screen casualty rate...[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="taya17"][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Neo: We're in a computer?
Morpheus: Is that so hard to believe? Watch what happens when I try to do two things at once (White space turns blue)
Neo: 200 years in the future and you're *still* using Windows ME?[/quoteost_uid0]
95 or 98 would be more apropos. Those were [iost_uid0]notorious[/iost_uid0] for blue screen casualty rate...[/quoteost_uid0]
I only got frozen screens (when the printer got ticked off) and Scrolling-Digit Reboots™ (when I got sloppy in a particular MS-DOS game). Guess I must not have been doing it right... [imgost_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/imgost_uid0]

I've been keeping quiet because most of my favorites so far are my own suggestions. Though I also think the attempts to get "reloaded" in there are good. And all of them are funny.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My votes are for myself so far... Particularly these three:

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Point.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Without the sun, the machines turned to a new source of energy - the human body.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] No! How is that possible?!
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I have seen the fields, Neo - the endless fields...
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Oh my god...
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Hamster wheels, Neo. Fields of giant hamster wheels, as far as the eye can see...

[bost_uid0]Morphius:[/bost_uid0] The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] A green M&M?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Damn! Wrong pocket![/quoteost_uid0]

I didn't like most of the other suggestions too much... exceptions being the "Welcome to the afterlife, Neo," which is funny but difficult tro work in, and the new Windows joke (although that particular one people seemed to really like my version...)

Am racking my brains for alternate versions.

Oh - possibly just to avoid stage directions...

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] We're in a computer?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Is that so hard to believe? Watch what happens when I try to do two things at once.
[bost_uid0]Loading Program:[/bost_uid0] Fatal Error at Location 19500079.3.42D. If this problem persists, please contact the program's manufacturer.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] 200 years in the future and you're *still* using Windows ME?[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] You mean Artificial Intelligence?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.

or building off of Standback's suggestion with a recent Enterprise episode,

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Point. So how did this happen?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Well, some scientists went to look for wreckage from a spherical ship in the Arctic Circle and....[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I really, really like Standback's "You're here mainly to shoot people" scene. I can live without most of my suggestions, except maybe the most recent one about the Bluescreen.

As for nitpicking the version, I use ME (Many Errors) and I get a BSoD at least once a week, sometimes more.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Derek"][bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] You mean Artificial Intelligence?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol:^8 My new favorite, I think!

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Point. So how did this happen?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Well, some scientists went to look for wreckage from a spherical ship in the Arctic Circle and....[/quoteost_uid0]

Another good one! :lol:

:think: Come to think of it, the last line in this last scenario could be just about anything. We could tie it in with Stargate, or any of a number of other things.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]I really, really like Standback's "You're here mainly to shoot people" scene. I can live without most of my suggestions, except maybe the most recent one about the Bluescreen.[/quoteost_uid0]

You do realize, I hope, that these two are mutually exclusive?[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Perhaps a combo like this?

[quoteost_uid0]
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Point. So how did this happen?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Two hundred years ago, all mankind united in celebration at the birth of A.I.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] A.I.? Artificial Intelligence?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] A green M&M?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Damn! Wrong pocket![/quoteost_uid0]

character is interchangable with the blue screen. The battery definitely merits mention.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]You do realize, I hope, that these two are mutually exclusive?[/quoteost_uid0]

The bluescreen gag can easily be postponed until a later scene, possibly the kung-fu fight or the walkthrough of the imaginary Matrix.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Personally I think the bluescreen one is too good to pass up. But I also like the gag about American Idol. I think combining it with the "here to shoot people" scene is a good idea.

just my 2 cents worth...[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]American Idol is a keeper.

Oh, instead of him pulling out a green m&m, how about him pulling out a red m&m, which we indicated earlier that they were Morpheus' favorite color.

Morphius: The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
Neo: A red M&M?
Morpheus: Damn! Wrong pocket!
Neo: Can I have it?
Morpheus: No, its mine *eats M&M*
Neo: Tank, load me up some red M&Ms, stat![/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]American Idol is a keeper.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Agreed. I detest unReality TV.

[quoteost_uid0]Personally I think the bluescreen one is too good to pass up. [/quoteost_uid0]

So do I (obviously), but I think I can make it funnier in the kung-fu scene. This way we can keep the "here to shoot people" line.

Edit:
Morpheus: The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
Neo: A red M&M?
Morpheus: Damn! Wrong pocket!
Neo: Can I have it?
Morpheus: No, I told you the red ones are my favourite.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I know an even better place for the Blue Screen of Death joke.

In the scene where there is a "glitch" in the matrix, which leads to Morpheus' capture.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like Sa'ar's version. I think Neo's right about the BSoD scene going best in the "Cat Resets" scene.[/colorost_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[quoteost_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] You mean Artificial Intelligence?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]This is by far the best version of this block I've seen. There are plenty of good ideas, and I personally give Sa'ar props for his good work, and is humility to hold off on jokes for later blocks (we still have a whole big ol' chunk of film to go through).

As to combining scenes - they work if you can make the seen work, I think putting it together with the "hear to shoot people" bit makes it too clumsy and it distracts from the heart of the joke.

Good stuff though. I'll put in my two cents a little further up the road, or sooner, not "soon"er... um, yeah.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Forgot to mention I also greatly like the American Idol joke. [/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]As to combining scenes - they work if you can make the seen work, I think putting it together with the "hear to shoot people" bit makes it too clumsy and it distracts from the heart of the joke.[/quoteost_uid0]

Hmm. You're right. I really need to get used to this format...

Are we sticking to one paragraph for this block?

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
Neo: A red M&M?
Morpheus: Damn! Wrong pocket!
Neo: Can I have it?
Morpheus: No, I told you the red ones are my favourite. [/quoteost_uid0]

I don't like this variation too much... The emphasis here really needs to be on the "wrong pocket," not on the running gag(?).[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Are we sticking to one paragraph for this block?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Unless absolutely [iost_uid0]everyone[/iost_uid0] insists on a longer version. The important part of this scene -- Morpheus' historical exposition -- shouldn't need more than one scene in the fiver.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My very favorite tries so far (as noted earlier, I've had a hand in an alarmingly high number of them) in no particular order:


Neo: Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
Morpheus: Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
Neo: Point. So how did this happen?
Morpheus: Well, some scientists went to look for wreckage from a spherical ship in the Arctic Circle and....

***

Morpheus: Neo, this is your brain. This is your brain on the Matrix. Any questions?
Neo: Yes, sir. Permission to freak out?
Morpheus: Granted. No, wait, that's not right...
Neo: Aarrrghh! Noooo, it's all impossible! Lies, all lies! Somebody get me out of he--ack!
Morpheus: That wasn't very nice, Trinity.
Trinity: No, it certainly was not very nice of him to disturb my nap. Serves him right.

***

Morpheus: We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
Neo: You mean Artificial Intelligence?
Morpheus: No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.

***

Neo: So the Matrix is basically a humongous holodeck.
Morpheus: Correct.
Neo: Neato. *ahem* Computer, replicate me some shades.
Computer: Request denied. Shades are irrelevant. Your pathetic attempt to look cool is futile.
Morpheus: ...Actually, "a humongous holodeck with a major attitude" would be closer to the truth.
Computer: I can't help it. You all are so, so...[iost_uid0]hateable[/iost_uid0].[/colorost_uid0]