Block 21 - You all look the same to me

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Okay, clearly the new scenes have stopped coming, so let's vote.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My vote is oscillating between PHJ's

[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: (tapping the wall) Shave and a haircut...
Morpheus: [iost_uid0]...two biiits![/iost_uid0]
Trinity: Dammit, he falls for that every time. Let's get out of here! [/quoteost_uid0]

And Derek's

[quoteost_uid0]Smith: Ha! Found you.
Morpheus: Uh, good job. Now it's your turn to hide and we'll try to find you.
Smith: It doesn't work like that. [/quoteost_uid0]

Depending on which one of them gets more votes from the others.[/colorost_uid0]

[Pteryx]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I'm also for
[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Agent Smith[/bost_uid0]: (tapping the wall) Shave and a haircut...
[bost_uid0]Morpheus[/bost_uid0]: [iost_uid0]...twooo biiiiits![/iost_uid0]
[bost_uid0]Trinity[/bost_uid0]: Dammit, he falls for that every time. Let's get out of here![/quoteost_uid0]

Though here I've tweaked Morpheus's line so as to fit better with the source material. -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid0]

[dsbs]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I still really like this phrase thing:

Cypher: GEE, THEY'LL NEVER FIND US HERE IN THE WALLS WITH THESE PIPES!
Agent Smith: What a strange definition of "never" you humans have.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][quoteost_uid0]And of course there's the obvious James Bond line.[/quoteost_uid0]

Pheus. Â Mor Pheus.[/quoteost_uid0]
Actually, I was thinking of "Smith. Agent Smith." But whatever.


I vote for Scooter's

[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: I will never allow you to marry my daughter.
Morpheus: Buh?
Agent Smith: Er, I mean--Ah, Morpheus, we meet at last.
Morpheus: Bite me.
Agent Smith: If necessary. All I know is whoever bags you makes Employee of the Month. Say, can you touch your shoulder blades with your feet?
Morpheus: No---AIIEEEEEYAAAA!
Agent Smith: Now you can.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[JobeGDG]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My vote goes to Derek's second shot:

[quoteost_uid0="Derek"][bost_uid0]Smith:[/bost_uid0] Ha! Found you.
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Uh, good job. Now it's your turn to hide and we'll try to find you.
[bost_uid0]Smith:[/bost_uid0] It doesn't work like that.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hm, me too. Derek for me.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: I will never allow you to marry my daughter.
Morpheus: Buh?
Agent Smith: Er, I mean--Ah, Morpheus, we meet at last.[/quoteost_uid0]

I actually liked this bit quite a bit.

GAH![/colorost_uid0]

[dsbs]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]alright, this is my vote:
[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: I will never allow you to marry my daughter.
Morpheus: Buh?
Agent Smith: Er, I mean--Ah, Morpheus, we meet at last.
Morpheus: Bite me.
Agent Smith: If necessary. All I know is whoever bags you makes Employee of the Month. Say, can you touch your shoulder blades with your feet?
Morpheus: No---AIIEEEEEYAAAA!
Agent Smith: Now you can.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Pteryx]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I don't know... do we need a block this long when the fiver is already looking more like a "tenner"? -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[quoteost_uid0="Pteryx"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I don't know... do we need a block this long when the fiver is already looking more like a "tenner"? Â -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]If we want a shorter version, perhaps this would suffice.

Agent Smith: I will never allow you to marry my daughter.
Morpheus: Buh?
Agent Smith: Er, I mean--Ah, Morpheus, we meet at last.
Morpheus: Bite me.
Agent Smith: If necessary.

But there's essentially three things happening in this block: Cypher betrays the team, Morpheus meets Smith, and Morpheus is beaten up. I think the first two need to be covered; the third is less impotrant since we see Morpheus in custody later.

There were good submissions for both the first and the second element. Maybe a combo ...[/colorost_uid0]

[dsbs]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]like your take on things, scooter. Id go with either yours or the original as, if we're doing a block for each scene, there's bound to be a lot of them, so I don't, personally, mind too much if there's a tenner.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My vote goes to....

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Agent Smith[/bost_uid0]: (tapping the wall) Shave and a haircut...
[bost_uid0]Morpheus[/bost_uid0]: [iost_uid0]...twooo biiiiits![/iost_uid0]
[bost_uid0]Trinity[/bost_uid0]: Dammit, he falls for that every time. Let's get out of here![/quoteost_uid0]

Can we please end this and move on [/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Since this still seems to be open (inexplicably), I'm going to place my very late vote for Derek's second block (the 'hide and seek' one).[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Seconded.[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Agent Smith: (tapping the wall) Shave and a haircut...
Morpheus: ...[iost_uid0]two biiits[/iost_uid0]!
Trinity: Dammit, he falls for that every time. Let's get out of here![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I'll vote for this one, since there's another one I can't vote for.

BTW I'm titling my next SF short story "Three Days in the Land of Soon."[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][[bost_uid0]Warning:[/bost_uid0] This post turned out to be based on a misinterpretation on my part. I apologize for the overreaction.]

[quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]Since this still seems to be open (inexplicably)[/quoteost_uid0]
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume you weren't actually trying to spit in my face. Â But in case I'm wrong, let me make something clear.

No matter how often I'm griped at and blamed, [iost_uid0]it is not up to me how long the FBC threads go[/iost_uid0].

This is your fiver. Â I don't impose my preferences; I don't step in and play God. Â I don't usually even vote, despite the fact that this fiver will ultimately appear on my site. Â And when I don't see a clear winner, I let you continue until there is one. Â That means when people stop suggesting new scenes. Â That means when people stop debating how many scenes there should even be. Â That means, in short, not the condition this thread is currently in.

I came up with this three-days-then-vote idea because I was sick of being complained at, and because I agree that the faster we move through this thing, the better. Â I proposed that we debate scenes for three days and vote on the fourth. Â But that's as far as I can go -- proposing it. Â And you guys [iost_uid0]aren't doing it![/iost_uid0] Â I've tried to nudge this thread along, but you're no closer to a clear voting situation now than you were in February. Â If everyone would make a point of coming back and voting on the fourth day after a FBC thread is posted, we'd have enough votes to really judge what's most popular.

But no, it's my fault this block isn't done yet. Â It's [iost_uid0]inexplicable[/iost_uid0] that I haven't stormed in, decided what everyone wanted, and closed it.

I'm sorry to rant, Jedi, but I'm as frustrated about FBC as you are, and more, because everyone just chalks it up to my slowness. Â I put a [iost_uid0]lot[/iost_uid0] of work into this site. Â When I miss deadlines, it's not for lack of trying. Â I can deal with the flack for missing fiver deadlines, because at least I've earned that (although the reason is rarely as simple as "I just put it off"). Â But the last thing I need is to be hassled about FBC, where I'm not putting [iost_uid0]anything[/iost_uid0] off -- I'm waiting for you.[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Zeke, I could be wrong, but I think PHJ was just expressing a little frustration at our collective irresolution for this block.

We all know the tremendous amount of work you put into this site, and if our gratitude probably expresses itself too often in the form of good-natured teasing, that's in the nature of sardonic web forums. (And I admit I practice this myself, as indicated in my last post, though again I was aiming not at Zeke but at the lack of verve among my worthy and clever colleagues.) But I don't think anyone has lost sight of the fact that this tremendously entertaining site owes its existence primarily to the hard work you put into it just for your own satisfaction and that of the fans. I'll be the first to say "Thanks."

Let's keep having fun with this FBC. Let's laugh at the submissions, post any last-minute ideas for new or alternate ones and vote today, and let's see what the next block is! Sound good, guys? I for one will come back tonight and help everyone wrap this block up.

I think this Matrix Fiver is a great thing. I was impressed as hell by the completed blocks; it's like a well-crafted fiver by one of our best writers because it reflects a diversity of bright ideas no one writer would have thought of. I can't wait to see the finished product and know I had a hand in it.

And Zeke, I am emailing you a cookie. And I'll share my cookies with the rest of you if we can get this block locked up.


/* Edited for late-night clarity */[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think I'm one of the most frequent complainers about the "faster-than-a-speeding-tub-of-molasses" rate of FBC, but it's crystal clear that the problem is group indeciseveness, just taking a whole long time to say that, yes, this is our final answer. That's obviously a side effect of having a dozen or so people collaberating on individual paragraphs, and quite obviously our problem and not yours. While I've made some suggestions on how the FBC could be moderated to prompt, um, maximal efficiency on our side, I don't think I've ever "chalked it up to your slowness." I don't really remember anybody else saying anything of the sort either. Evidently, though, the impression has been created, and so again, I apoligize. As Scooter says, I don't think anybody doubts the appreciation of all the forum regulars for all the work you do and the wonderful site you've created for us.

And on a more practical note - here are the votes so far.

[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: (tapping the wall) Shave and a haircut...
Morpheus: ...two biiits!
Trinity: Dammit, he falls for that every time. Let's get out of here![/quoteost_uid0]
3 votes (Pteryx, Neo, Scooter)

[quoteost_uid0]Smith: Ha! Found you.
Morpheus: Uh, good job. Now it's your turn to hide and we'll try to find you.
Smith: It doesn't work like that.[/quoteost_uid0]
5 votes (JobeGDG, Gatac, PHJ, Sa'ar, Standback)

[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: I will never allow you to marry my daughter.
Morpheus: Buh?
Agent Smith: Er, I mean--Ah, Morpheus, we meet at last.
Morpheus: Bite me.
Agent Smith: If necessary. All I know is whoever bags you makes Employee of the Month. Say, can you touch your shoulder blades with your feet?
Morpheus: No---AIIEEEEEYAAAA!
Agent Smith: Now you can.[/quoteost_uid0]
2.5 votes (NAHT, dsbs). Possible shortened version. Taya17 has also said she likes this one, but was unclear on whether or not she was voting (and has not voted for any other block).[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hm, looks pretty clear to me...

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]