Voice of Fiver

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I wrote this for the OUC campus paper a few years back. It also contains a stealth reference to Voice of Fire. Warning: not safe for Fine Arts majors. It's not very long, or coherent, and doesn't really come to a good conclusion.

It didn’t take the Fine Arts students long to begin redecorating the campus. For those of you missed the…display in the Student Services foyer a couple of weeks ago, let me explain. A group of students spent several hours setting up – I don’t know what else to call them but ‘things.’ They resembled Shrek’s earwax candle, made of fired clay. They were arrange in a sinuous line, apparently marching towards another, larger blob of clay. This conglomeration had what appeared to be picture frames set in it. I don’t know what all this was in aid of, but it seemed pretty useless to me It’s not art until someone says ‘Yes, but what is it?” Then the so-called artist gets to turn their scorn on the rest of us Philistines who fail to comprehend their delicately crafted ‘message.’ OUC could find all the money it needs by axing worthless programs like Fine Arts. We’d also be rid of at least half that monstrosity of a building I complained about two or three issues ago. As you can probably guess, I have little or no use for art. Some may find that strange, seeing as how I used to be President of the OUC Drama club (come see our play – Laughter on the 23rd Floor, details coming to a poster near you). Maybe I’m just bitter because OUC only caters to the weird art forms and ignores the more Philistine-accessible subjects like drama and band (although they both have their lunatic fringes, like performance art, which is people standing in interesting positions). Band and drama also require actual talent, rather than merely painting stripes on a canvas and flogging it to the National Gallery for millions of ill-spent dollars.

Disclaimer: these comments do not apply to artists who can actually draw, ie, faithfully reproduce a three dimensional object in two dimensions using only pigments smeared on paper or canvas. I know many talented artists, some of whom will post sketches of me wearing a bikini if I don't make this disclaimer.[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000ost_uid0]A group of students spent several hours setting up – I don’t know what else to call them but ‘things.’ They resembled Shrek’s earwax candle, made of fired clay. They were arrange in a sinuous line, apparently marching towards another, larger blob of clay. This conglomeration had what appeared to be picture frames set in it. I don’t know what all this was in aid of, but it seemed pretty useless to me.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think I've seen that one, or perhaps a cousin to it. It was on display as part of an exhibition of MFA thesis projects at SFSU. Wasn't the ugliest thing there, either.
[quoteost_uid0]So [iost_uid0]you[/iost_uid0] buy the Chair.
[/quoteost_uid0]Yep. :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I know many talented artists, some of whom will post sketches of me wearing a bikini if I don't make this disclaimer.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]The pencil is mightier than the Mace. But not by much. [/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I actually went and saw VoF last month. It's huge. There's a little bar on the floor in front of it, possibly to prevent irate taxpayers from getting too close. Since Canadians are by nature polite and law-abiding, heavier security isn't really necessary. I made the stupid comment "Thank you for not spitting on the painting," and all the security guards followed my like hawks until I left the building.

Supposedly it's such a masterpiece because the artist used millions of individual brushstrokes to paint his stripes. I should be impressed because he's too lazy to buy a paint roller?[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000F22ost_uid0]Actually, that's kind of impressive if it was millions of tiny brushstrokes. The dude actually put some work into it.

Not much for the overall painting, though. S'boring.

[quoteost_uid0]Since Canadians are by nature polite and law-abiding, heavier security isn't really necessary.[/quoteost_uid0]

Oh, that's nothing. I saw REAL Da Vinci works (and a lot of reproductions) at the Royal BC museum and I swear there was, like, one guy there behind the velvet rope. I'm pretty sure [iost_uid0]The Virgin of the Rocks[/iost_uid0] was real, but I don't remember for sure. The real stuff probably came from the Queen's collection or something.

Even if he had mutant powers, one guy in a suit per room seems a little cheap. [/colorost_uid0]

[KillerGodMan]

Exelent Work Zeke! This is something I'd pay to see!

[Zeke]

Waaaaait a minute. KillerGodMan? Don't I know you? You wanted to do a fiver of Luigi's Mansion, right?

[KillerGodMan]

Yep, I kinda got really busy, that and I changed my e-mail address...

[Zeke]

Right. Well, you can still do that fiver if you want -- no one else has asked for it.

Lemme check my file... right, you also asked how Five-Minute Farscape came to be. That's covered in the 5MF FAQ, which is out of date like most of the subsite FAQs but still has what you want. And you asked to be put on the update list, but you say you've changed addresses; is the "friedeggs" one still correct?

And who's that cool hooded guy in your avatar?

[KillerGodMan]

my e-mail is now mrkyle@cogeco.ca

It's already a quarter done, so I guess I'll finish it

The hooded guy? He's one of the many characters you'll find at VGCats (http://www.vgcats.com) it's a great webcomic, many different games parodied there.

[Zeke]

I've updated your address. Glad you'll be finishing the fiver.

VG Cats, eh? I read that strip -- funny that I don't recognize the guy. Can you link me to the one where he appears?

[Draknek]

Linky

It was a couple of weeks back.

[Zeke]

Ahh. That would do it -- I've been unable to keep up with most of my webcomic regimen in the last couple of weeks, due to the move.

("Linky"? Blehh...)

[mudshark]

(Phew! I'm not alone.)