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#21
10-25-2003, 04:31 AM
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[quote
 ost_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo?Neo: Painful. I keep poking myself with this pointy fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon? Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon. Morpheus gave them all to some brat for some project.[/color ost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0][color=#000000 ost_uid0]I really liked this one, and the one by terek rall - remind me not to drink coke near the computer while on this site.[/colorost_uid0]
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#22
10-25-2003, 02:36 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Maybe there should be a notice up on the front page - "Do not attempt to drink anything whilst looking at this site".[/colorost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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#23
10-25-2003, 09:34 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]A slightly different take on TerakRall's:Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad. Though it certainly isn't as good as that hot chick in the red-- Tank: Stow it. And the food IS that bad. I would rather sit down to dinner with an agent than eat this sludge. Cypher: You say that like it's bad. ...What? Did I say something wrong?* *Alternate line: Especially if it were a steak dinner. Mm-mmm. ...Er, not that I would know anything about that, of course.[/color ost_uid0]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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#24
10-27-2003, 01:45 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Another spin-off on TerakRall'sÂ…Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad. Cypher: Are you kidding?! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludgeÂ… Which is something I have never done. Ever. Everyone: Â… Cypher: So, how 'bout that Oracle?[/color ost_uid0]
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94143243431512659321054872390486828512913474876027 67195923460238582958304725016523252592969157276553 64363462727184012012643147546329450127847264841075 62234789626728592858295347502772262646456217613984 829519475412398501 |
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#26
10-27-2003, 04:43 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]My own take on the "no spoon" and steak bits, plus PHJ's Delphi bit in another scene:Neo: Wouldn't a spoon be better for eating this glop? Morpheus: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon. Cypher: Forks are for eating steaks with, darn it! Mouse: What're you going to do, ask an Agent to feed you dinner? Cypher: No need. Morpheus: Today we visit the Oracle in-- Neo: Delphi? Morpheus: New York, you berk.[/color ost_uid0]
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#27
11-01-2003, 09:21 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]I dunno. I'm still prefer Cypher's awkwardness to no spoons.Cypher: This food is terrible! I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge… Umm… Which is something I have never done. Ever. Neo: Hey, wait a second— Morpheus: Okay, we're off to see the Oracle. Neo: Woo-hoo! Field trip! Cypher: Phew. That was close…[/color ost_uid0]
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94143243431512659321054872390486828512913474876027 67195923460238582958304725016523252592969157276553 64363462727184012012643147546329450127847264841075 62234789626728592858295347502772262646456217613984 829519475412398501 |
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#28
11-02-2003, 07:30 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Neo: This food sucks. Cypher: I would rather have a sample of a nice juicy steak with Trinity in the matrix than to eat this crap. Trinity: Sample This! *points gun at Cypher* Cypher: Umm, I meant with an agent Everyone: *Gasps* Morpheus: Load up guys. We are going to see the Oracle. Everyone: Yay! Cypher: Phew[/color ost_uid0]
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NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
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#29
11-03-2003, 06:16 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]I like the steak with an agent joke. Lets hurry up and decide on this one. Alternate ending *Morpheus walks in* Morpheus: It's time to take Neo to go see her. *Morpheus walks out* Neo: See who? Tank: The Woman in the Red Dress[/color ost_uid0]
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NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
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#30
11-03-2003, 11:48 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Another composite version -Mouse: You know, this food isn't that bad. Tank: Are you kidding me? I would rather sit down to a steak dinner with an agent than eat this sludge. Trinity: Oh, be realistic. Who would do a thing like that? Cypher: (whistles innocently) Morpheus: Today we visit the Oracle in-- Neo: Delphi? Morpheus: New York, you berk.[/color ost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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#31
11-05-2003, 11:19 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] this stuff? It tastes like airplane food from 1999! [b ost_uid0]Tank:[/bost_uid0] It [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] airplane food from 1999.[b ost_uid0]Dozer:[/bost_uid0] The [iost_uid0]Nebuchadnezzer[/iost_uid0]'s actually a souped-up 747.[b ost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Now that Neo knows that the Matrix is like a giant computer game, I'm taking him to learn the Secret of the Oracle.[b ost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Cool! I'm keen to go, commander![b ost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] this stuff?[b ost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] Sorry about that. The replicator's on the fritz, it won't make us our normal breakfast.[b ost_uid0]Tank:[/bost_uid0] Yeah, it's like someone went into the system and deleted every single reference to eating steak.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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#32
11-05-2003, 11:25 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]This one's too awkward to actually use... but I thought you'd get a kick out of it.[b ost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We're off to see the Oracle.[b ost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] The wonderful Orc'le of Oz![b ost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] We hear she knows how Dozer goes, she's known every One that was![b ost_uid0]Cypher:[/bost_uid0] If ever-a-wever a--[b ost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] All right, that's enough.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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#33
11-06-2003, 02:54 PM
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[quote
ost_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Now that Neo knows that the Matrix is like a giant computer game, I'm taking him to learn the Secret of the Oracle.[b ost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Cool! I'm keen to go, commander![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0][color=#000000 ost_uid0]The freaky thing is that I [iost_uid0]think[/iost_uid0] I recognize this reference. I used to be hooked on that game...... if it actually is the same thing we're thinking about. My memory fails me-- it was a long time ago, and I can't quite remember if there actually was an Oracle in it or my mind's making it up.[/color ost_uid0]
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#34
11-06-2003, 04:23 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]There wasn't an actual Oracle in it until the very end. But "The Secret of the Oracle" is indeed the name of the game, and its been freeware since the day it was released. You can still find it easily on the net.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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#35
11-06-2003, 05:33 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Seems to me like there are three main jokes running around in this thread (by all means, correct me if I'm wrong):
[*]The spoon joke [*]The Delphi gag[/list]and lots of other jokes that shouldn't be forgotten, of course.  I'm going to take a bit of inspiration from Pteryx here and do a scene for the steak joke. Neo: Yuck! This stuff is gross! Tank: It's all we have here. If you're really upset about it, you could always return to the Matrix. An Agent would probably come down on you within seconds, but if you're really persuasive maybe he'll buy you a gourmet dinner. Cypher: Heh. Sure, persuasive's good. But [i ost_uid0]traitorous[/iost_uid0] will get you a steak dinner.Silence: ... Cypher: Er, not that I have ever betrayed, say, Morpheus to the Agents for a steak dinner. Nope, never done that. Now one for the spoon joke (this one's short enough we might be able to tack on the Delphi joke at the end): Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo? Neo: Painful. I keep accidentally poking myself with this fork. Don't you people have even a single spoon? Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color ost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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#36
11-06-2003, 11:40 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]/me votes for the no-spoon joke.Though I think the tagline for the punchline should be changed - [i ost_uid0]anybody[/iost_uid0] but Tank. His intonation's all wrong - he can't be mystic.::Looks around. Obviously no one has any idea what he's talking about.:: Or maybe that's just me. ::Wanders off, still humming "Wizard of Oz" tunes.::[/color ost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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#38
11-07-2003, 06:36 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]That sounds good. Just as long as he uses the singular. Mouse: How's breakfast, Neo? Neo: Painful. I keep accidentally poking myself with this fork. Can I have a spoon? Tank: Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.[/color ost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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#39
11-07-2003, 09:46 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]The steak joke does it for me. Call a vote already, Zeke![/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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#40
11-07-2003, 11:05 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]I agree. Call a vote.[/colorost_uid0]
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NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
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