5MDV: Five-Minute "Battle at the Binary Stars"

[Zeke]

Y'all have probably found it confusing that I started doing some Discovery stuff with the site, but never really went anywhere with it. It's mostly because I'm forever chasing fame (yes, even now), so when the show was new, I did the easy/fun parts like making myself a new avatar and adding a fake subsite link to the front page, anticipating getting some fivers out. Then the show turned out to be... itself, and even if I weren't having my usual trouble writing fivers, I've had mixed feelings about adding more DSC stuff to the site at all. I'm considering a collective subsite for the new Treks. Might feel better about that.

Regardless, I have always planned to at least finish the initial two-parter, whose first part I posted nearly two years ago. And some parts of this one are nearly that old (including the return of a time-honoured 5MV in-joke), but it's only now that I've finally finished it off. I'm so happy with these two fivers that, to my own surprise, I almost feel like doing more -- but that's a big if. The important thing is that whatever I do or don't do with 5MDV, at least now I can say I really tried.

Here's Five-Minute "Battle at the Binary Stars". Hey, at least this part had a better title!

[Wowbagger]

(including the return of a time-honoured 5MV in-joke),

*crosses fingers for the Aibo*

[Wowbagger]

The plus side of continuing these would be that I could ACTUALLY use them as recaps and then not watch the episodes (after Season 2), and it would be a better experience than watching the episodes. The minus side would be that you'd have to watch the episodes.

"This fiver was better than the episode" was meant to be implicit high praise, but I now realize it's a low bar and I should just say: good fiver! Well done. The Sarcasm Before Death - lovely.

P.S. Is there a way, after all these years, to get the forum to display all threads by default, not just threads active in the last 24 hours? Because I forget every darn time.

[Zeke]

Right! You keep asking and I keep forgetting. Should be fixed now.

[Wowbagger]

I've asked for this before?!

Man. I need to remember things.

EDIT: yay! thanks!

Dennas: (over the comm) <Somehow your actions have convinced us you are Kahless's true successor!>
Kol: (over the comm) <We are somehow your loyal followers now!>
T'Kuvma: <Do you have to keep saying "somehow"?>
Klingons: <T'Kuvma the Somehow Unforgettable!>
T'Kuvma: <Eh, I'll take it.>

^ This is the funniest scene.

But this is my favorite scene, because I am bitter:

Brig: (launches Burnham, with her face taking up 93 percent of the screen)
Burnham: Can I speak to the director? I have an idea for how to improve this scene by about 7 percent.

Georgiou: The Klingons think we're helpless. This is our chance to strike!
Saru: Don't they think we're helpless because we are helpless?
Burnham: Not anymore! I'm back!
(pause)
Georgiou: Saru, remind me, do we have any other brigs or just the one?

Best joke construction:

Voq: <I can't believe you're dying! I was sure you were being set up for at least a season!>
T'Kuvma: <Carry on for me... and remember... Remain Klingon!>
(T'Kuvma dies)
Voq: <Well, at least that's an easy last wish to carry out. What else would I do?>

[NAHTMMM]

Georgiou: Thank you for that wise observation. Security, toss her in the brig.
Burnham: What? But I'm spe--
Georgiou: TURNS OUT THERE ARE LIMITS!

Burnham got off easy. Imagine if she'd mutinied against Janeway.

Voq: <Didn't you tell us there was something especially infuriating they always say?>
T'Kuvma: <Wait for it...>
Georgiou: In fact, if you would like full Starfleet access, our rates are quite reasonable, beginning at $5.99 a month.
All Klingons: <ATTAAAAACK!>

Saru: He drove right into the Europa!
Georgiou: The madman! Everyone knows you can't land there!

Unless you didn't mean to, of course, in which case whatevs.


All the scenes are great, great work.