September 8

[Zeke]

To allow a bit more content, we're extending the 5MNG anniversary event to three days -- so this is now only the midpoint of the event. Today's material:

[*]Marc's back with a Top 10 list: The Top 10 Autobiographical Books by Next Generation Characters.[*]Next, here's the first half of my annual NG two-parter: "Time's Arrow I."[*]Finally, here's Kira's other comic, for one of Marc's best fivers: "Yesterday's Enterprise."[/list]

Be here tomorrow for the Captain's Yacht of the event! (Hey, it detaches....)

[danieldoof]

I really do not want to nag but there is something wrong with the link to the top10 list
I get the error 404


okay problem solved

nice update

[whoiam]

Cool - birthday update

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Troi: We could "accidentally" beam them into an enclosed space for a while, forcing them to work out their differences.
Riker: It's just crazy enough to work! And then more crazy, so no.
Troi: Well, let's save that idea to use on Beverly and the captain, then.

Nice forshadowing there

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Data: Bridge: command deck, operations centre, troubled-water overpass....
Picard: Nice try. You're staying.

"Daddy's a walking theasaurus..."

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Troi: I also sense hatred. Of you. By me.
Worf: Whoa! Even I sensed that.

Councillor Worf. Putting you out of your misery - Klingon style.

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Worf: Big deal. Oh, look! I'm standing where you were standing 20 seconds ago! I must be out of phase! Wooooo!

Isn't sarcasm part of the Klingon Religion?

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Riker: Whoa. I mean, just -- whoa. Could we even have made up a sillier reason for Data to have to beam down?
Picard: Truth is stranger than fiction, Number One.

Data: I am afraid I possess no currency. My wallet was caught in a mechanical ricepicker. Do you know of anywhere I could acquire some?
Bellboy: As a matter of fact, we happen to run the oldest established permanent floating poker game in 'Frisco. You acquainted with the game?
Data: I have some small experience with it....

What is it with you and the mechanical ricepickers?

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Crusher: Jean-Luc, would you mind signing this death certificate for Will? I'll need it in a minute.

Poor Will. He makes almost as many enemies as Wesley, and for about as different a reason as can be...

Originally Posted by Time's Arrow I

Worf: You expect me to leave you unprotected?
Picard: Think of it as leaving Riker unprotected.
Worf: One to beam up.

Geordi: Aren't we all going to say something like "Go Go Tachyon Phase"?

tsk, tsk. Quoting Inspector Gadget. Keep it up!

[PointyHairedJedi]

I've not read "Time's Arrow" yet (I always like to wait until I can read both parts for these things), but the list and comic were both amusing.

I take it the lack of humerous disclaimers on the Top 10 lists is unintentional?

[Derek]

Picard: All right, I know we're all concerned about Commander Data....
Riker: We've got to get him back! He's worth fifty Dr. Crushers!
Picard: ....but for now we must focus on the alien threat. Mr. La Forge, what are our options?
Geordi: I think I can modify --
Picard: Good enough. Meeting dismissed.
Crusher: Jean-Luc, would you mind signing this death certificate for Will? I'll need it in a minute.

A perfect scene. Hilarious on every line.

3. My Autobiography. Volume 1: The First Three Hours, Eight Minutes And Forty-Seven Seconds Of My Life From The Time Of My Activation by Data

What's really pathetic is when he gets to Volume 4,747,474,747: The Writing of my Autobiography.

Great comic, Kira. The annoying thing about comics is that you can't quote images.

[whoiam]

Actually, you can - but because of the way they're posted on the site (one image per page) you'd have to save the entire thing, cut off the piece you want, and then get it back online somewhere else... pointlessly difficult, but definitely possible.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by PointyHairedJedi

I take it the lack of humerous disclaimers on the Top 10 lists is unintentional?

I was really tired. I'll fill them in next update.

[mudshark]

Liked the whole Top Ten list -- can't pick a favorite this time.

Beggar: Don't you remember? I'm your pal!
Suspicious Couple: (to snake cane) Eat his soul.
Beggar: Uh... okay, that was presumptuous. Casual acquaintance maybe? -- GAK!

Hee hee hee.

Paperboy: Whoopee.

*snicker*

Guinan: Whoa. Uh, would you folks excuse me for a minute? This is my nephew, um, Rube... he tends to hit the sauce.

:mrgreen:

Originally Posted by Derek

A perfect scene. Hilarious on every line.

Agreed.

Great comic, Kira. The annoying thing about comics is that you can't quote images.

And again.

Originally Posted by whoiam

Actually, you can - but because of the way they're posted on the site (one image per page) you'd have to save the entire thing, cut off the piece you want, and then get it back online somewhere else... pointlessly difficult, but definitely possible.

Well, yeah ... but with this ancient beast and M$ Paint, I'd be afraid to try, even if I knew what I was doing.

What is it with you and the mechanical ricepickers?

I haven't read Ellison's book on the subject, so I'm not sure where the credit really belongs, so I'd just let it ride as a cross-series reference. 8)

Good stuff, all!

[Opium]

This is a great update!

Gosh, imagine what they'd be worth on the collector's market

That is so something Wesley would say!

Riker: How can you take this with such a cool head, Data? If it were me, I'd be beside myself!
Data: Perhaps we will have a second chance to observe that, Commander. But for now we must discover why I died in Earth's past.

*SNORT* So funny!

Troi: Well, let's save that idea to use on Beverly and the captain, then.

The coolest 'ship ep EVER (the first 5 times watching it)

Riker: (eyeroll) Yes, Deanna, there are humans. There's a Klingon and a part-Betazoid too.
Troi: I also sense hatred. Of you. By me.
Worf: Whoa! Even I sensed that.

And some crashing 'ships too!

You know what? Every line in the Top Ten List ruled, so I won't bother posting them.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

The Life Of A Starfleet Security Officer (abridged edition) by Tasha Yar

Ouch. *g*

Now You Can Read My Feelings For A Change by Deanna Troi

Must maintain decorum...resist urge to make dirty comment...

The Woman Inside The Doctor Behind The Hypospray by Beverly Crusher

No wonder she always seems so removed.

Picard: We've arrived, Number One. Get an away team down there.
Riker: Aye, sir. Everybody whose name doesn't rhyme with "beta," you're with me.
Data: May I employ Dr. Pulaski's preferred pronunciation in this --
Riker: Sit down, dead android walking.

*snicker*

Geordi: Anyway, the point is we can't see these aliens without a phase discriminator. And none of the ones on the ship are sensitive enough....
Data: (over the comm) You are mistaken, Geordi. The one in my positronic net would suffice.
Riker: Whoa. I mean, just -- whoa. Could we even have made up a sillier reason for Data to have to beam down?

May the script be with you. Or against you, in this case.

Bellboy: Oh, certain items, eh? You betcha. We're verrrrry accomodatin' here.
Data: Your left eye appears to be oscillating. Is this normal?

The best jokes are the ones where the characters are completely in character (redundantly). Nice job.

Bellboy: OOF! Here's... your... anvil....
Data: Thank you. (lifts it easily)
Bellboy: Heyyy, that's impossible! I know what your real secret is now! The pale skin, the strength, the lack of a need for food... you're a vampire!
Data: -- Yes. I am known as Spiner, due to my fondness for impaling victims with porcupine spines.
Bellboy: That is so cool.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Paperboy: Wuxtry, wuxtry! Read all about it!

You and your wuxtry.

Samuel Clemens: And in conclusion, them uppity geocentrists need a hefty dose of secular cynicism.
Guinan: Well argued, Mr. Clemens. Someday you should try your hand against an opponent who's actually in the room.
Clemens: I have tried, Madam Goldberg, but such opponents tend to insist on getting a word in.

See previous character character comment. Also, the Goldberg was a nice touch.

Isn't sarcasm part of the Klingon Religion?

Delusions of grandeur aside, I'm pretty sure I'm not worshipped on Q'on-oh, small s, my apologies.

There is a Klingon ritual that translates as the Sarcasm Before Death, which Worf mentions in Five Minute Best Of Both Worlds.

tsk, tsk. Quoting Inspector Gadget.

I was actually getting Voltron vibes off that, or possibly some other Japanese-inspired cartoon about giant robots.

Good stuff, all.

[Xeroc]

Excellent fivers, all!