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September 3
Kira here, back to deliver one update to rule them all.
I started this fiver in my head while I was seeing the movie for the first time in theatres, almost two years ago... it's come a long way since then and I'm very fond of it, so it's hard to believe I'm actually going to let everyone read it. Yet, after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? Now it comes to it, I don?t feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me! It's mine! My own... my precious.... Just kidding. Here, for your reading pleasure, Five-Minute The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Before I sign off, kudos to the Very Secret Diaries and The One Milk for inspiration, intentional or otherwise, and thanks to the handful of people who read the fiver and gave me constructive comments. (Any jokes Sa'ar Chasm claims he helped me come up with is a complete lie. It was me, all me.) I'll also note that if there are scenes in the fiver you're not familiar with, that's because I fived the Extended Edition. If you haven't seen it, do so now. Now! There's more to come later in the week from Marc's corner of the site, so stay tuned.
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\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
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Great job, Kira! That was just hilarious.
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
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Re: September 3
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I'm not the biggest LotR fan I must admit. I havent seen the films, I havent read the books... *goes to read fiver anyway* :mrgreen:
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :mrgreen: :mrgreen: heeheehee hoohoo giggle. Oh, my *sniffheehee* that was great, Kira. You are hereby excused for having been so scarce around these parts.
Waaaaayy too much good stuff to quote it all, but here's a sample: Quote:
Edit: typos, sic call
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) |
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I'm liking these updates-before-2AM. I'm also liking the fiver - brilliance.
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Self-referential sigs do not a humourous poster make. |
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"But Indie..." "No camels!" Quote:
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
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*That's* why I've been double posting...I've been hitting quote instead of edit.
Can someone delete this?
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
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Er, yes. You can cant you? Isnt there a delete button next to the quote/edit buttons?
Edit: Yes, indeed there is a delete button :wink:
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
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Good one, Kira!
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\"Like all those who habitually and instinctively lie, he had an enormous respect and awe for the truth.\" |
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Oh boy, it's all fantastic. I'd have to list most of it just to list my favorites, so I'll just list my very favorites. Or something like that.
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The Aragorn-Eowyn conversation is great too
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct. -- Isto Combs |
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Kira, it's so funny it hurts. I beg of you, no more - my lungs won't stand another fiver this funny.
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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And, the fiver is AWESOME ! And I'd quote, but I'd just be quoting the whole thing.
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Truer words were never spoken. Xeroc Central 5MChat: PHP/JS Chat 2.0 Click here to view the chat in progress! |
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Ooooooooh so I kinda ruined his ability to delete it by posting that he could? :lol: Whoops! I knew that... :wink:
Read the fiver. BWAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Very funny :mrgreen: Even with never seeing the movie! Quote:
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
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Great fiver, Kira! It was hilarious all the way through. Its tempting to just quote the whole thing, but I think my favorite parts were:
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So long, and thanks for all the references to Five Minute FOTR.
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Have you heard of The Culture? |
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On another note, thanks for the warm reception of the fiver. I'd love to get it out to a bigger LotR audience. I tried emailing theonering.net to get them to link to it, but as they haven't: if anyone is registered, or knows someone who is registered on the TORn message boards and would be willing to post a link, I would eternally grateful. Oh, and we'd probably set an all-time record for hits -- also cool.
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\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
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Lord of the Rings parodys rule, this one particulary so!
Pie Points to Kira!
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George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!) Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) |
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This thread and Sep. 2 are now in the correct forum, News. Sorry for the inconvenience -- I was so busy packing I forgot some details like giving Kira posting power in this forum.
By the way, though she's heard it before, I hereby add my voice to the chorus in praise of 5MTTT. TORn's failure to link to it is their readers' loss.
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
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Heheheh. I like the stuff about the entish stories......btw, Zeke, u got the email, right?
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