A Special Valentines Fiver - A Special Valentines Fiver

[Cleopatra]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here is a fiver for the X-files episode “Rain King”. I figure there are some on this board who would appreciate a little Valentine treat in Fiver format during this time of the year.
- Cleopatra

Five Minute “Rain King”

By Anonymous

Shelia: Oh my snugglebugs is gonna be sooo happy I got him this card.
Daryl: No I’m not your big fat ass of a woman.
Shelia: I have a surprise for you!
Daryl: If it involves a news paper and you proclaiming our love throughout the world…you just lost me.
Shelia: Uh oh…

Shelia: I hate my life. I can’t live without Darryl.
Darryl: Where’s that last can of beer…wait…oh damn! [car crashes]
Audience: Is the Author trying to parallel something here?
Author: Nah, just a coincidence that the story is told this way. Maybe.

Credits..

Mulder: Don’t you like private planes Scully.
Scully: Don’t look at me, this was your idea.
Mulder: Hey a fiver is NOT supposed to quote the show.
Scully: Meh. This is like parodying a parody.

Mayor: Welcome to Kroener!
Scully: It’s the boonies.
Mulder: I love the boonies.
Mayor: Don’t we all?

Scully: Next thing you’re gonna tell me, Zeke is going to make it rain hearts on TrekToday.
Mulder: Have you ever heard of SAD Scully?
Scully: Yeah, Mulder you’re one sad puppy.
Mulder: You wound me.
Scully: What was that about quoting the show itself?

Cindy: The FBI?
Mulder: We’re here to see the King.
Scully: *GLARE*
Mulder: Sorry. This show fiver’s itself.
Scully: Maybe we should get back to the plot?
Mulder: Yeah…weather station.

Shelia: Look! Love birds!
Scully: Well I’ll be damn, the ‘Shippers followed us in here too
ShipperChick: Hi folks! We’re not obsessed, just focused!
Scully: And I’m the blessed Virigin Mary. Can I hear something new?
ShipperChick: You turn out to be her twin?
Scully: Sorry I asked.

Holman: Well you see a ‘weather bomb’ usually forms over the east coast of the US traveling up through Newf-
Mulder: Does Daryl do a rain dance?
Holman: Well…no…
Mulder: Can you do a rain dance for me?
Scully: *glare*
Mulder: Ok…forget about it.

Scully: So here we are in the boonies. These people are nutties Mulder.
Mulder: Then we fit right in.
Farmer: It’s the KING!
Mulder: I get this warm tingly feeling all over when someone says that.
Scully: That’s just…no comment Mulder.
Daryl: *does the macarana*
Scully: I’m not witnessing this.
Rain: BOOMMM!
Mulder: I gotta get my dance mix 95 CD out again….

Shelia: Going to the high school reunion?
Holman: YES! Wanna be my date?
Shelia: No…I want Daryl.
Holman: But But But…
Shelia: What? You’re in love with me NOW?
Holman: …..

Cow: Moo.
Mulder: Moo.
Cow: Uh oh.
Mulder: Uh oh.
Cow: CRASH!

Mulder: Scully I have a boo boo.
Scully: Aw.
Shelia: I am the COW killer! I miss Darryl!
Scully: Aw.
Sheriff: That Boozer?
Holman: Uh oh…

Darryl: Oh the lovely rain.
Cindy: I love you.
Rain: *silence*
Darryl: My rain!
Cindy: He didn’t hear a word I said.

Mulder: Holman’s controlling the weather.
Scully: That’s like saying Archer will sleep with T’Pol…or Janeway with Chakotay…we all know the money’s on the cleavage!
Mulder: Eh?
Scully: Just pointing out to you how trivial this case is.

Holman: Lets practice my ‘I love you speech’ to Shelia again.
Shelia: Hi Holman!
Holman: It’s a curse I tell you!
Shelia: I have forgotten about Darryl! I mean look at that Agent Mulder!
Holman: Insult to injury.

Mulder: Spill the beans to her bud.
Holman: But I’ve been holding it in for so long!
Mulder: Here’s some prunes if that’ll help.
Holman: You’re full of poo.
Mulder: Scully don’t call me Poppyhead for nothin’.

Cindy: We don’t need money if we got love.
Darryl: How dense can you be exactly?
Cindy: I dunno, I’m the bimbo of the week, hehe.

Mulder: Just go through that door, and tell her.
Holman: But it’s been so long! I don’t know what she’ll say!
Mulder: I don’t know…start with…’hey’?
Holman: You’re just full of good advice aren’t you?

Holman: I love you Shelia.
Shelia: Oh Holman that’s so sweet. Now I wonder where I can find that Agent Mulder…
Holman: Maybe I should just kill myself now, and make it easier on everyone.

Darryl: I want Shelia back!
Holman: Figures.
Shelia: Well I don’t want you! I want Mulder!
Mulder: Buh…
Darryl: That Grey T-shirt wearing Spooky thing?
Shelia: Hmm yeah.

Shelia: Thanks for protecting me Agent Mulder *kiss*
Mulder: This is becoming an occupational hazard. Is there a planetary alignment again?

Scully: This place is gonna float away.
Mulder: I’ll build the arc, you gather the animals.
Scully: *glare*
Mulder: I was kidding! I swear my dialogue in this script is pure fiver material!

Scully: Mulder believes Holman is making it rain.
Shelia: You love him don’t you?
Scully: No, he keeps running off on me, but I believe if you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. When loving someone never regret what you do. Only regret what you didn't do.
Shelia: Well gee, you’re deep tonight.
Scully: Don’t blame me blame the writer.

Shelia: Are you the weather man?
Holman: Baby I can be your weather man!
Shelia: That’s so sweet.
Darryl: But what about me?
Shelia: Baby, you lost your chance long ago!

Mulder: Well, our job is done.
Scully: We’re getting to old for this ‘Shipper business.
Mulder: Kiss me and get it over with?
Scully: No.

----[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Whoa...

I am suddenly reminded of how long its been since I watched an episode of X-Files.

I remember this one... vaguely. I was a bit lost at parts, because I don't remember most of the episode very well, but I remember the teaser well enough, wish the car crash and the falling heart-hailstones...

I'm not sure why we're getting such an influx of newcomers, but hey, I'm the last one to complain! Hi there, Cleo

BTW, if you're interested in writing fivers for the actual site, and not just to amuse the handful of forum regulars, you should of course contact Zeke, as explained in the Sci-Fivers FAQ (which is indeed the catergory under which the X-Files fall), and the Submission FAQ. (Hint: the second one is the important one.)

Thanks, welcome, and happy Valentine's Day![/colorost_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]yeah me too on the whole long time no watch the last one i saw was about an invisible elephant i think[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thanks for pointing out the FAQs, Standback. That's exactly how to handle a situation like this -- normally. However, I happen to know who "Cleopatra" is, and she knows the rules. She's just not used to playing by mine or anyone else's.

"Rain King" is one of the few [iost_uid0]X-Files[/iost_uid0] I've seen, so I knew what was going on at least. But just for the record, no [iost_uid0]way[/iost_uid0] would I make it rain hearts on TrekToday.

Invisible elephants?[/colorost_uid0]

[Cleopatra]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Don't be too hard on him Zeke, he was just doing his job.

But yeah, I'm *very* familiar wtih Zeke and his order of the universe - I'm also very good at throwing him off his throne from time to time

And its not that hard to make it rain hearts....javascript...a animated heart .gif...a little hacking.....

Hmm maybe I can do it....

*veg*

But. The question is. Did Zeke *understand* the fiver.



Cleo[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="Cleopatra"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Don't be too hard on him Zeke, he was just doing his job.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hard on him? Not at all. He did good. He had no way of knowing who you were. So in case I wasn't clear enough, thanks, Standback.

[quoteost_uid0]And its not that hard to make it rain hearts....javascript...a animated heart .gif...a little hacking.....
Hmm maybe I can do it....
*veg*[/quoteost_uid0]

I don't doubt you can -- but if it happens now, we'll know who did it, won't we?

[quoteost_uid0]But. The question is. Did Zeke *understand* the fiver.[/quoteost_uid0]

Yep. It's about invisible elephants. I think they're distant.[/colorost_uid0]

[Cleopatra]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Damn, you're gonna force me to go back and read that ep aren't you.

I wonder if LauraJo is around...it would be far easier that way...

I'm SUCH a bad um...[title unnamed just in case] I will go back and read...

Lake George right?

Cleo[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]No no, I just think the phrase "distant elephants" is funny. It's not really a reference.[/colorost_uid0]

[Cleopatra]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]But the elephants are still distant?

My..I may have to send out my stampead[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][Grumby Man]My brain hurts.[/GM][/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Cleopatra"]But the elephants are still distant?

My..I may have to send out my stampead[/quoteost_uid0]
Q. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A. Here come the elephants over the hill.
Q. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A. Here come the grapes over the hill. (She was colorblind.)


Q. Why did the elephant wear green tennis shoes?
A. So he could walk across pool tables without being seen.


Q. How can you tell an elephant's in bed with you?
A. By the "E" on his pajamas.


Q. How can you tell an elephant is hiding in your refrigerator?
A. By his footprints in the butter.


Q. How do you get down off an elephant?
A. You don't get down off an elephant, you get down off a duck.


Q. Why do ducks have flat feet?
A. To stamp out forest fires.
Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. To stamp out flaming ducks.



Phew, all that was blocked up. I feel much better now. [/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]When I was a kid, my parents took me to the circuis and I got to ride an elephant.

Few weeks later, in the same circuis, elephant went crazy and people fell down from him. It was very likely the same elephant.

Really, [/colorost_uid0]