30th Anniversary TNG Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

DATA: The starboard bulkhead of main Engineering is contained within the rock face, but most of its compartment is still intact.
WORF: There is a hull breach in that section.
PICARD: If we begin a power transfer, can we restore life support systems to that compartment?
DATA: I believe so, sir. The breach can be temporarily sealed by extending our shields.

I'm dubious of this one. You're going to use the shields to create a bubble that you can fill with air, then...what? How is there a power network intact enough to power the heaters, the lights, the gravity, etc.? They should've just skipped straight to the spacesuits.

RIKER: It means that I can't put this off any longer. Right up until this moment I had the luxury of time, but now I've got to make a choice. And, Admiral, I'm afraid my choice is this. I can't let you start these experiments again. It was wrong twelve years ag
And he's going to stop Pressman...how? Shooting the cloak? o, and it is wrong today.
Shooting Pressman? Furthermore, this isn't just about Pressman, it's about Starfleet Intelligence (cough-Section 31-cough). Someone else will come for it whether Riker is in a brig or not.

PRESSMAN: So on reflection you'd rather be a traitor than a hero.
RIKER: I wasn't a hero and neither were you.

So Pressman thinks that giving Starfleet cloaking devices will make him a hero. How? It would start a war with the Romulans that the Federation can't afford right now, much less in a matter of months when the Dominion enters the scene. Think about it, if the Federation, Klingons, and Romulans started a war now the Cardassians would quickly join to reclaim Bajor and the Federation wouldn't have the resources to stop them. The Dominion would know what's going on and quietly wait until the Alpha Quadrant powers have destroyed themselves so they can swoop in and conquer the pieces.

RIKER: They were brave enough to risk their lives to stop you from violating a treaty the Federation signed in good faith.
PRESSMAN: That treaty has bound our hands and given the Romulans a tactical advantage for the last sixty years. I was simply trying to level the playing field.

And now we reach the big question: why did the Federation agree to not use cloaks? Had the Romulans defeated us so badly that we were willing to do ANYTHING to stop the fighting? And after this happened, after we gave the Romulans a huge advantage, they decide to go into isolation for decades? To build a fleet of ships bigger than even the Galaxy class currently being designed?

The real headscratcher is why the Romulans didn't invade after the Borg invasion. Starfleet was in no position to oppose them, especially after the ceasefire with the Cardassians.

WORF: Captain, I believe we could use the phasers to cut our way out.
DATA: The asteroid's internal structure is highly unstable. Any attempt to cut through the rock could cause the entire chasm to collapse.

I find this overly simplistic. Surely you guys can replicate some concrete or foam to stabilize the walls as you cut. It would take a long time, but it'd be doable.

PRESSMAN: And that treaty is the biggest mistake we ever made. It's kept us from exploiting a vital area of defence.
PICARD: That treaty has kept us in peace for sixty years, and as a Starfleet officer, you're supposed to uphold it.

Peace? The Romulans orchestrated the Klingon Civil War, and the Federation knows it! There should've been renegotiations years ago!

RIKER: It's more than just a cloak. It changes the structure of matter. In theory, a ship using this device could pass through normal matter.

It's been said before, and I'll say it again: why do we need the cloaking function on top of the phasing function? A phased ship would be impervious to weapons fire, wouldn't it? Otherwise what's the point of the phasing?

PICARD: Except it's illegal. It's in violation of an agreement that the Federation signed in good faith.

And the Romulans didn't sign it in good faith. It's situations like this that make Section 31 seem more and more necessary. "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb" and all that.

LAFORGE: Commander, we've routed the impulse engines through the plasma conduits, but you'll have to watch the intercooler levels. If they get too high, we'll blow the entire relay system.

Why are we sending impulse plasma (ionized gas) through the warp plasma conduits? Why is that even an option?

While it seems reasonable to suppose that an ordinary cloak is a sister technology to the shields, a phase cloak would probably be a sister technology to the warp field. No need for impulse engine interaction at all.

RIKER: I think that's what happened twelve years ago. The cloak blew out the plasma relays on the Pegasus after we left the ship. The plasma ignited in space, and it looked as if the ship had been destroyed.

Nonsense. Even if we presume that every bit of matter of the ship was converted to energy (dubious, but IF), it would still have an energy signature that'd be different from ignited plasma.

[Nate the Great]

The Fiver

Picard: To what do we owe your gladsome presence?
Sirol: We're doing perfectly innocent research on gaseous anomalies.
Picard: Is that anything like hot air?
Sirol: Yes, and we're detecting lots of it.

Ha ha. "You're reaching a 9.9 on the Kirk scale!"

Pressman: Our orders are to secretly break the law for the good of the Federation
Riker: What? Are you working for some covert branch of Starfleet Intelligence?
Pressman: Shhh! No one's supposed to know that it exists yet!

Actually I think Section 31 would be a completely different organization that pretends to be a covert branch of Starfleet Intelligence. It's not like they're held accountable to any public organization.

Picard: Why did you defend Pressman when the Pegasus senior officers mutinied against him?
Riker: If you'd seen so many promotion vacancies open up, what would you have done?

I don't know if I find this one morbid or funny.

Riker: The secret cloaking device is intact, sir.
Pressman: Yippee! Now we can resume our illegal experiments and kill more people!
Riker: How many people does it take, Admiral, before it becomes wrong?
Pressman: Don't you start planning an insurrection against me, mister!

The Insurrection reference seems like a bit of a stretch to me.

Riker: This one-of-a-kind phasing cloak allows ships to travel through solid matter!
La Forge: It sounds just like the one we caught the Romulans testing two years ago.
Riker: No, theirs was called an "interphase generator."
La Forge: Oh. I forgot that.

And somehow the interphase generator could attach a phase cloak aura to an object without the need for further intervention. That still doesn't make sense...

Memory Alpha

* Ronald Moore compares this one to "The First Duty". I don't see it. That episode features people breaking the rules solely for glory, this episode (and "The Wounded", for that matter) features people breaking the rules in a misguided attempt to achieve superiority.
* Moore joked that the sheer number of crazy admirals might come from something they add to the water at Starfleet headquarters.
* In the first draft Riker was sentenced to thirty days in the brig and a reprimand that would stop any chance of command. I think this harsh, and feel that long-term sentencing to a brig should be avoided when possible. Riker should've been moved off the ship to a penal colony or something instead.
* The staff considered reusing Pressman on Deep Space Nine. I'm not sure how they could without either seriously reworking the character or rehashing this episode.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil is confused as to how the Romulans could have a piece of debris from the Pegasus if the ship didn't actually explode. Duh, there was an explosion of warp plasma that still happened, no doubt a few deckplates were blown off leaving the rest of the ship damaged but intact.
* Phil also noticed the problem with the "had a beard for four years" thing.
* References are made to both "Starfleet Security" and "Starfleet Intelligence" watching this mission. I don't have a problem with the latter being a subset of the former.
* Phil also noticed the size of the ship/size of the crevasse thing.
* Picard acts like the ship is trapped and couldn't be rescued, yet Starfleet knows where they went and would send a rescue ship. And presumably the Enterprise could send some sort of signal to the outside (given enough time I'm sure phasers at low intensity could drill through to send a probe, for example).
* One of Phil's readers brought up the diplomatic incident from decloaking in front of the Romulans. I don't have a problem with this one. For the sake of argument let's say that the Enterprise did stay cloaked for days. The Romulas would still slowly dig through the asteroid to claim their prize and raise a fuss when the Enterprise isn't there and a ship half-buried in the asteroid is. Picard is just starting the inevitable incident on his own terms.
* When Tom Riker is found, will he have to face charges for the Pegasus incident? Come to think of it, that would've been a better reason to join the Maquis...
* There's confusion in the Treaty of Algernon. Was it the treaty that ending the Earth-Romulan war in 2160, or is it the one that banned Federation cloaking devices sixty years ago? I wonder if Phil has heard of the concept of "amendments" and that treaties can evolve.
* Phil wonders if they should've separated the ship and just taken the stardrive section into the asteroid. My immediate response is that the saucer would be a sitting duck for the Romulans.
* The Romulans act like there'd be no problem beaming the crew through all that rock, when Riker thinks that it's risky. I don't have a problem with Romulan transporter sensors being more powerful. For that matter, what about the subspace transporter from "Bloodlines"? Cumulatively dangerous, but surely one exposure to save everyone would be allowed?

[Nate the Great]

January 17th, 1994, "Homeward"

No fiver

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 47423.9. We have arrived at Boraal Two in response to an emergency distress call from Lieutenant Worf's foster brother, Nikolai Rozhenko. He has been stationed on the planet as a cultural observer.

Is Nikolai stationed alone? It sounds strange. It's not like he couldn't hide his evacuation plans from the others.

PICARD: Very well. But regardless of this planet's immediate situation, we must observe the Prime Directive. I want to minimise the risk of contact with the inhabitants. You will go alone, Mister Worf, and I want to have you surgically altered so that you could pass as a Boraalan.

I don't think that this situation justifies a single man away team. Frankly Data shouldn't have been alone back in "Thine Own Image" either.

CRUSHER: Are the two of you close?
WORF: We are brothers.

Yikes is that a loaded answer. I couldn't describe my relationship with my own brother any more easily.

NIKOLAI: When I sent the distress call I knew the Enterprise was in this sector...

How? Couldn't they have at least have given Nikolai a shuttlecraft that was damaged in the storms? Something that allowed him to scan ships in orbit?

PICARD: Doctor, you were fully aware that the atmospheric dissipation could not be stopped. What did you hope to accomplish by assisting these people?
NIKOLAI: I was trying to give them a future. What I propose is we create an atmospheric shield on the planet. We can camouflage the equipment just as was done with my observation post. No one will ever know it's there.

A big problem with this idea is that it would require a Federation presence on the planet for centuries to come. And these people are clearly thousands of years away from warp.

And then of course the second big problem is inbreeding. This village must rely on intermingling with other villages for marriage partners. Now they're gone. They will wonder why only their village survived, and why they can't find anyone else. New planet or not, this culture is doomed unless the Federation directly intervenes and starts controlling everything. Nikolai seems content to just shove consequences onto someone else. Who cares if his great-grandchildren have six toes?

NIKOLAI: Captain, the Boraalans have a rich and beautiful culture, a deep spiritual life. They deserve the chance to survive.

And? The Federation must've let dozens of primitive cultures just like this die by now.

NIKOLAI: And isn't that what the Prime Directive was truly intended to do, to allow cultures to survive and grow naturally?
TROI: Not entirely. The Prime Directive was designed to ensure non-interference.

I'll refer you to the SF Debris review. Nikolai is talking about the long-term goal of the Prime Directive, Troi is talking about what the Federation does to ensure that.

CRUSHER: But aren't we interfering either way? If we take no action, it's a conscious decision to let the Boraalans die.

Say what you will about the Prime Directive, but at least it's not biased. No warp drive, you're not saved. Period. It doesn't matter if you're peaceful or warlike, if you're destroying the planet or living in harmony with nature, the PD applies to you equally.

We already covered this in "First Contact". Any interference, no matter how well-intentioned, will inevitably cause disaster.

NIKOLAI: Some of my log recorders are still in my observation post. They contain most of my research. Since it appears that the only way I'm going to preserve Boraalan culture is in a museum, I request permission to return to the surface and retrieve them.

If there can't be a ship to support Nikolai, there should've at least have been a subspace satellite in orbit to pass along his files to Memory Alpha.

NIKOLAI: I knew if I could get access to your ship's computer, I could generate a replica of the caves. The hard part was transporting the Boraalans into the holodeck without anybody on the Enterprise noticing.

No, the hard part is transporting them without everyone asking why they all saw blue sparkles for a few seconds at the same time. Did Nikolai knock them all out at night so they wouldn't notice the transport?

NIKOLAI: Captain, I can't prepare for every contingency, but I assure you I'm accustomed to thinking on my feet. I'll deal with the situation as it evolves.

I'm reminded of that speech from Trek '09 about Kirk thinking that he'll never have to face consequences.

(Now that the Kelvinverse trilogy is free on YouTube I intend to watch them as part of my retrospective on the movies. But that will be next summer at minimum, when I finish TNG I'll have to go straight into Voyager).

PICARD: I'm not enthusiastic about this plan, but I don't see that we have another option.

Well, you could flood the holodeck with anesthizine gas and then euthanize them. Or you could ask Starfleet for further orders. While we've seen starship captains change the destinies of entire cultures in TOS, I thought we had more oversight now.

LAFORGE: We've got a problem, sir. I don't think it's going to be possible to keep this holodeck simulation stable.
PICARD: Why not?
LAFORGE: The plasmonic energy surges from the planet are affecting the ship's systems. We're having problems with the EPS systems and the power distribution matrix.
NIKOLAI: And as a result, the holodeck imaging processor has been severely destabilised.

Why are we still in orbit of the planet? It's uninhabitable!

LAFORGE: It's not a question of whether the simulation will break down, it's a question of when.
PICARD: There's no way round it?
LAFORGE: Not while it's running. In order to fix it, I'd have to shut down all of the holodecks and re-initialise the entire system.

You can't reset the holodecks individually? That seems like an obvious design flaw. This seems like the time to stun all of them and put them in stasis until the holodecks can be reset somewhere aware from the storms.

WORF: As we said, it is far from here. It will not be like the home you knew. Even the stars may be different.
VORIN: Why would they be different?

A good point. I'll bet you anything Nicolai gave no thought to this one, or the sun looking different, or the plants and animals looking different, or...

WORF: You have not changed. You still expect people to solve the problems you create.
NIKOLAI: I'm not here to work out the issues of our childhood. I'm here to save a people who I care about.

How is this guy supposed to be brilliant again? Brilliant people don't expect others to solve their problems for them.

DATA: These are the two planets which best match our search criteria. Draygo Four features an unusually large temperate zone. However, it is within three light years of Cardassian space.
CRUSHER: There are constant border disputes in that sector.

Why did Data even present it as an option then?

CRUSHER: There are so many questions we don't have answers to. What if the climate is so different that it affects them in a way that we can't anticipate? How do we even know they'll be able to survive? And if they do, how will their society evolve and what impact will it have on the Vaccan system?

"For that matter, we don't know how they'll react to the diseases unique to this planet!"

VORIN: Then how do you teach your children their history, who their ancestors were, where they come from?
WORF: We tell each other stories, make up songs.
VORIN: Stories change with each person who tells them. This, this will always be the same.

A good point. I think people today don't appreciate how big of a deal the printing press was.

[Nate the Great]

(meanwhile, Vorin has found his scroll, and the arch partly showing in the rock. He touches it and the door appears. He steps forward, it opens and out he goes)

The holodeck is malfunctioning, why aren't there guards stationed here to stop people who wander out? For that matter, why isn't there a stun field pointed at the door?

CRUSHER: I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do. His neural physiology is unusual. I can't wipe his memory.

At least they addressed the question.

VORIN: A new life?
PICARD: A chance for your culture, your people, to survive and grow.
VORIN: How can we grow when everything that made us who we are is gone?

SF Debris pointed out the absurdity of this comment. They KNEW they were going to a new place, and if there was some spiritual link with the planet shouldn't that be brought up?

NIKOLAI: Wait. Are you saying that if Vorin wants to come back in here, they'll let him?
WORF: That is right. He is not a prisoner.
NIKOLAI: But if he comes back here and tells the others what he has seen on the Enterprise, everything we have done will be for nothing.
WORF: Then you should have considered that before you beamed them on board.

Exactly. Acting like you never have to face consequences for your actions is dangerous.

NIKOLAI: Oh, if only I could have been like you. Worf, the perfect son.
WORF: I was not perfect, but I was not wild and disobedient.
NIKOLAI: Of course not. You were too busy doing your duty.
WORF: I would rather be accused of that than making our mother weep.

Exactly! How can Nikolai ever claim to have the moral high ground?

DOBARA: Please, go to him. Make things right between you. I want us to be a family.
WORF: Us?
DOBARA: Yes. I want you to consider yourself my brother. After all, you're going to be the uncle of my child.

This is a huge misstep. The episode is already dealing with too many issues, we don't need another. What does this accomplish except making us like Nikolai less? Did the episode feel that we wouldn't be convinced one way or the other by now?

DATA: We are in synchronous orbit above the beam down site, sir.
PICARD: Good. Mister La Forge, how much longer before we can transport the Boraalans?
LAFORGE [OC]: A few more hours, Captain, but we've got some problems here. I don't think the holodeck's going to last that long.

Why can't they beam people down immediately? If they're talking about how fast they can adjust the holodeck to match the planet, that's not really Geordi's problem right now. Frankly Barclay should've been assigned to the holodeck while Geordi handles the ship and transporters.

WORF: How could you have mated with a Boraalan? What were you thinking?
NIKOLAI: I don't owe you an explanation.

But you owe the Federation an explanation. The rulebook on interspecies relationships is over three centimeters thick, remember.

WORF: That is not possible. I cannot allow you to stay here.
NIKOLAI: You will have to kill me first.

Yeah, that's stupid. Nikolai is a criminal and needs a trial if nothing else. Plus stun settings exist for a reason.

CRUSHER: I think it was some form of ritual suicide.
PICARD: He said that he had nowhere to go.
CRUSHER: He would have died even if we hadn't interfered.
PICARD: But he wouldn't have died alone and afraid.
CRUSHER: Are you saying you're sorry we saved the Boraalans?
PICARD: No, of course not. Our plan for them worked out well. But I wish that Vorin could have bridged the gap between our two cultures. I would have liked the chance to have known him better.

I put this one on the tearjerker page for TNG years ago.

Memory Alpha

* Even Memory Alpha wonders why they didn't knock the people out to reset the holodeck.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Troi was conveniently off the bridge when Boral II dies, if she was there she would've sensed that Nikolai wasn't grieving like the others.
* What if the baby resembles a human more than a Boralan?
* Phil wonders why Troi left Vorin alone in this time of crisis. I would argue that Troi is trained to recognize when a person is or is not receptive to therapy.
* Phil also brings up the gene pool thing, and reminds us of the similar situation in "Up the Long Ladder".
* They started with sixteen scrolls. Vorin could only save six. But then he dies with one outside, leaving five. Then Worf took one, leaving four. What about their history?
* Isn't it convenient that the Boralans would be on a holodeck on Deck 10 so Vorin could stumble into Ten Forward?
* Worf's mustache is reduced for his Boralan disguise, then is restored to normal when he returns to normal. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that Federation technology can stimulate body hair growth.

[Nate the Great]

January 31st, 1994, "Sub Rosa"

I link to SF Debris reviews often enough, so for a change how about Obscurus Lupa?

Fiver by Kristina

The Episode

PICARD: Caldos Colony is a most impressive accomplishment. I actually feel as if I'm in the Scottish Highlands.
MATURIN: That was the intent. The cornerstone of every building in town was brought from Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen. The founders wanted everyone to feel they had a piece of the real thing here. They didn't want to just imitate Scotland, they wanted to recreate it.

I never noticed the cornerstone thing. I have to respect it. Due to my heritage I take cornerstones and capstones seriously.

TROI: Your grandmother had remarkable green eyes.
CRUSHER: Every woman in the Howard family has had green eyes, except for my mother and me.

The implication is that the green eyes are a result of Ronin's influence and that Beverly's mother (Isabel, FYI) and Beverly herself don't have them because they never had the chance to connect with Ronin. I'm still a little confused as to why a plasma-based ghost would affect genetics, and the idea that he leaves a piece of himself in his partner at all times is a little icky.

CRUSHER: It's a family heirloom. It's been in the Howard clan for generations. It's supposed to symbolise the enduring Howard spirit. Wherever they may go, the shining light to guide them through their fortune. Nana always kept it lit.

Okay, they'll later tell us that the candle is plasma based. So where does the wax come from and why doesn't it run out? Is Ronin's home the lamp itself or just the wax?
QUINT: I wouldna be so high and mighty with me, Beverly Howard Crusher. I've spent more time here in the past five years than ye have in the past twenty.
CRUSHER: How do you know who I am?
QUINT: I'm Ned Quint. I took care of your grandmother's house and her affairs.
CRUSHER: Nana never mentioned you.

Why wouldn't Nana keep Beverly in the loop about this?

DATA: I am reading unusually high humidity across the entire southern desert region and there is increasing cloud activity above the northern coastal area. Possibly the formation of a storm system.
MATURIN: A storm? It's the middle of summer. We don't have rain at this time of year.

Even if I'll buy a network of drones controlling the weather, I can't buy that you can just turn off rain for months at a time without damaging the environment. The plants require X amount of rain at certain times of the year to grow. At best I'd only want to push away rain during the day, letting it come at night.

CRUSHER: Yes. According to these journals, his name is Ronin and he's thirty four years old. They met just after my great-grandmother's death.

And she didn't tell Beverly about Ronin...because? Furthermore, when did Beverly's great-grandmother die? The math just doesn't seem to add up. And how can Ronin continue to create new, younger alter egos for every Howard host? I can't help but feel that in the Federation they keep track of you from birth regardless of your residence or philosophy. Maybe I'll buy that Q or Kevin Uxbridge can poof himself up a birth certificate on demand, but Ronin isn't that powerful.

CRUSHER: Yes. And there was a voice, a man. He whispered my name. It was as if I knew him, or more like he knew me. He knew exactly how I liked to be touched.

So he's telepathic on top of everything else. That just makes this creepier.

CRUSHER: I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal. She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences with Ronin.

And this is just creepy. Who would consider this appropriate?

TROI: So, shall we start going over the personnel reports?

Doesn't she do that with Riker? Wouldn't there be some specific medical report that the ship's doctor and counsellor would want to collaborate on?

CRUSHER: Ned, the weather systems control is malfunctioning. The Enterprise is trying to repair it.
QUINT: Oh, sure. But who do you think is causing the malfunction?

It's an interesting question: how long can Ronin keep breaking things to keep the Enterprise here until someone figures out there's another entity affecting things?

CRUSHER: I think your imagination is
QUINT: Think what you want. See what you want. Just do as I say. Dinna light that candle or dinna go to that hoose, or before you know it, they'll be burying another Howard in this cemetery.

You'd think he could just tell her to run thorough scans on the candle and her house while she's in it. Being cryptic for the sake of being cryptic never helps anyone.

LAFORGE: Captain, I suggest we set up a power transfer between the Enterprise and the weather substations. Try to give them enough power to stabilise the storm.

They still think that this is an ordinary storm? It seems that Q's confidence in them figuring out technobabble is a bit misplaced.

RONIN [OC]: Ghosts? Nor did I in the beginning. I was born in sixteen forty seven, in Glasgow on Earth.
CRUSHER: You're telling me that you're an eight hundred year old ghost?
RONIN [OC]: I found a home with Jessel Howard. She was a pretty lass with a mane of red hair, and eyes like diamonds.

Like SF Debris says, the idea that every single generation for eight hundred years would keep her maiden name upon marriage AND convince her daughter to use it as well is patently ridiculous.

TROI: Hi, Bev. I just wanted to see if you were going to mok'bara class this morning.
CRUSHER: No, I think I'll skip it today. I'm exhausted.

So she was either raped and Stockholm Syndromed into changing her emotions, or Ronin brainwashed and raped her. Isn't that a lovely image? How did this get past the draft stage, were they THAT desperate for scripts?

CRUSHER: Exactly. I can see why Nana fell in love with him. This sounds very strange, doesn't it?

Yes. It does. Even if everything WAS on the up and up this would be weird. Unless you're on Risa I don't think people sleep together on the first date, even in the 24th century.

DATA: There appears to be a condensed suspension of water vapour, approximately one degree Celsius.
PICARD: Fog.

It's too far into the series for Data to be this pedantic.

DATA: I am unable to terminate the connection, sir. A feedback loop has formed in the transfer beam. I will have to go to the substation and attempt to correct the problem from there.

You don't have any grunts that can do that for you? Surely if there's a continual beam being generated I'd want an engineer at the emitter 24/7.

(an alarm sounds and they spot Ned underneath a console)

Did nobody question why Ned wants to come on board? Maybe assign an escort to him?

CRUSHER: Ensign, ask Doctor Selar run a biospectral analysis.

Hasn't enough time passed for Plakson to play Selar again? In fact, does Selar have the record for most mentions compared to appearances?

PICARD: Beverly, you can't just resign.
CRUSHER: I can, and I have. I've decided to stay on Caldos and become a healer like my grandmother. It's a proud Howard tradition and I've decided to uphold it. Energise. I've resigned my commission, so unless you plan on kidnapping me?

Maybe I'll believe that Starfleet is at-will enough to allow people to leave at any time. But there's still paperwork that needs to be done, and it's clear that it hasn't been done.

PICARD: Why don't you answer my questions? What ship? I'd like to look at the passenger list. Where have you been living here? What's your position? Who are your neighbours?

Which raises another question, did Ronin manage to convince Felisa to never talk about him? How long can he stay solid? If it's more than a day why can't he be a part of the community so people know him?

This is why gothic novels and cheesy romances aren't suitable things to base a Star Trek episode on.

The Fiver

Troi: Who's Zorro?
Crusher: A guy in a black cloak, but that's not important right now.
Troi: Right, Victoria Escalante.

More missing first lines. Ugh.

Crusher: You can't believe the dream I had last night, Deanna. I was caressed, but I saw no one.
Troi: I'm jealous. Was he wearing a cloaking device?

Seems a bit clunky for a joke.

Crusher: Oh, flowers! Who's there?
Ronin: I was born in 17th century Scotland, and have lived a masked life since....
Crusher: Zorro!
Ronin: Please don't call me Zorro.
Crusher: But Wesley watches you all the time.

The Zorro joke seems a bit shoehorned. Surely a Highlander joke would make more sense here.

Ronin: Here I am. Satisfied?
Picard: Tell me who you are first. Surely, you must have an origin of sorts.
Ronin: I do, but I'm not telling. And don't call me Shirley.

Is this joke supposed to tie into another Leslie Nielson role or something?

Crusher: OK, but I just phasered it. Now I'll phaser you too!
Ronin: AaaaaAAAGH! Now I'll have to seduce the crinkly-nosed redhead on DS -- GAK!

I never noticed that Ronin and Shakaar were played by the same actor!

Crusher: (glare) I wonder what he meant by "DS GAK"?
Troi: Some other Nana can sort that Visitor out.

That one was painful.

Memory Alpha

* Braga didn't know about the Japanese word "ronin" before naming the character.
* Felisa was said to be over a hundred, yet her tombstone indicates 79. Oops.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Where is Wesley for his great-grandmother's funeral?
* Phil points out that the governor may not look human, but with the interspecies marriages we've seen it's possible that he would have ONE Scottish ancestor. I prefer to keep it simple and say that he just likes the lifestyle. Remember how the Japanese are obsessed with 19th century British culture?
* He also brings up the age incongruity with Ronin.

[Nate the Great]

February 7th, "Lower Decks"

Fiver by IJD GAF

The Episode

RIKER: Fletcher has more experience with propulsion systems.
TROI: But Carstairs is better with people. Considering this is a supervisory position, I'd go with her.
RIKER: I guess you're right. Didn't we just do crew evaluation reports?

Why are they doing this in Ten Forward? Both of them have offices!

RIKER: It seems like three weeks. Why don't we just give everybody a promotion and call it a night, Commander?
TROI: Fine with me, Captain.

Always funny.

RIKER: Could we have two coffees, please.

Given the sheer number of coffee options available, this seems simplistic to the point of meaningless. At least throw in a "black" to somewhat narrow it down!

LAVELLE: Think promotion. Promotion. Promotion.
TAURIK: (a vulcan) You can't really believe that what you are doing will influence the outcome of your evaluation.
(actually, he will become Vaurik of Voyager)

You mean Vorik, Chakoteya? I assume the reason that they didn't carry over Taurik is the Locarno Problem again. You'd think by now the contracts would be modified to allow for character reuse without paying episode writers for EVERY episode their creations appear in.

SITO: The Vedeks of the Janalan order maintain a round the clock chant for the benefit of the Bajoran people.
TAURIK: Considering the history of your planet, that doesn't exactly validate what he's doing.

I get that this is supposed to be dry wit, but it seems a bit callous once you think about it.

LAVELLE: Promote me, please, so I can make Lieutenant and have my own room.
TAURIK: If you're unhappy sharing quarters with me, then you should put in for a new room assignment.

On a ship this big the idea of involuntary roommates seems rather ridiculous. It's a good gag, but the scale of the break from reality should match the hilarity of the joke, and this joke isn't good enough for a break this big.

RIKER: I've been thinking about who to promote to Ops.
TROI: The new night duty officer?
RIKER: Lavelle is an obvious candidate, but I'm also considering Ensign Sito.

As Sito will point out, she's not even in the right department for this. I sort of wish they'd brought back the idea that Worf was more of a general duty officer in the first season. If Sito was doing duty rotations, it would make more sense.

RIKER: End simulation sequence. Secure from drill. Alpha shift, your response time was seven percent slower than the gamma shift. All departments, submit drill evaluation reports

While I suppose the bridge and engineering controls could be temporarily turned into simulator mode like the Kobayashi Maru fake bridge in Wrath of Khan, this does seem like prime holodeck stuff. Remember what happened when the Ferengi interrupted a simulation? You'd think they'd want to avoid that.

RIKER: What happened back there, Ensign?
SITO: I'm sorry, sir. When we changed course I had to re-lock phasers before I could fire.
RIKER: Next time, try letting the locking relay float until the actual order to fire is given.

This is ridiculous. The "locking relay" would have to be tied into both the sensors keeping track of the other ship's location AND the conn system's internal sensors of where the ship thinks it is and how it's moving. Given the complexities of ship movements during a battle a large percentage of targeting would have to be automatic to have any chance of actually hitting.

LAVELLE: Aye, aye, sir.
RIKER: One aye is sufficient acknowledgment, Ensign.

And this is where my compassion for Riker in this situation runs out. This seems like a petty excuse to pound Lavelle down. And for what, to deflate Lavelle's ego or inflate his own?

SITO: How'd you like to be a spider under that table?
LAVELLE: What?
SITO: A spider under the table.
LAVELLE: Is that like a fly on the wall?
SITO: I guess so.

It's nice to see colloquialisms from other cultures, but it does introduce more questions about how the Universal Translator works and whether or not all cadets have to learn English.

LAFORGE: Your plasma flow to the nacelles is out of sync.
TAURIK: Actually, sir, that was done deliberately. As you can see, this configuration has increased overall warp field integrity by seven percent.
LAFORGE: You're right.

This seems like nonsense to me. How can plasma flow be out of sync, and what does the plasma flow "frequency" have to do with the warp field integrity? Are they implying that the warp field from each nacelle pulses with the plasma flow and having the two nacelles pulse out of sync leads to the wave form of the two warp fields covering a wider range than just a simple "sine wave"?

SITO: I only filled in at Ops for a half hour, but I had to degauss the main deflector dish, recalibrate the navigation grid, and use internal sensors to find a lost puppy.

None of these seem like Ops jobs. For that matter, wouldn't all of the pets be chipped to allow for instantaneous locating?

SITO: I can't figure out why I'm even being considered for this assignment. I'm a security officer.
WORF: I recommended you.
SITO: I'll try not to let you down, sir.

For a duty change this drastic, wouldn't you want the officer's consent before they were even considered?

BEN: He likes Jazz, poker. He's Canadian.
LAVELLE: Yeah? My grandfather was from Canada.

It's an honest mistake for Ben to make, but Lavelle's idea of connecting though a grandfather is pathetic. Talk about grasping at straws. Furthermore, if Lavelle wants to find a commonality with Riker, wouldn't it be better to look at his personnel file instead of relying on second-hand information?

PICARD: How close to the Cardassian border are we?
DATA: Less than five thousand kilometres, sir.

Sheesh, talk about dancing on the line!

PICARD: Can we get within transporter range without crossing into Cardassian territory?
DATA: We would need to boost the gain on the confinement beam by at least seven percent.

The range of the transporter is forty thousand kilometers. The escape pod is fifty thousand kilometers inside Cardassian space. Even if I'll buy that you can temporarily boost the range by seven percent, it wouldn't be enough.

It occurs to me that a useful tool would be a probe designed to be a transporter relay. Send the probe over into Cardassian space, have it beam the survivor over but instead of materializing inside the probe it forwards the signal to the Enterprise.

TAURIK: Bio readings indicate that passenger's humanoid. Attempting life form identification.
LAFORGE: No one told you to do that, Ensign.

Why would Taurik care about the species? It's not going to affect anything!

[Nate the Great]

PICARD: Well I'm really very sorry you didn't enjoy your time at the Academy, Ensign. As far as I'm concerned, you should have been expelled for what you did. Quite frankly, I don't know how you made it on board this ship. You're dismissed.

I know that Picard is testing Sito, but that last part is just ridiculous. Yes, there have been times when an officer has been forced onto the Enterprise, Ro comes to mind immediately, but Sito would not be one of those cases, and she should realize that.

TAURIK: The pattern of fire you have asked for is similar to what might result if the shuttle had fled an attacker while engaging in evasive manoeuvres.
LAFORGE: It's an amazing coincidence.
TAURIK: Yes, sir. It is indeed.

I understand the need to damage the shuttle in this way, it's the phaser rifle part that baffles me. The output from a phaser rifle would be MUCH less than that of a shipboard phaser. And anyone scanning this shuttle would be able to tell the difference. Couldn't they have mocked up a phaser turret with a larger beam?

LAVELLE: I wonder who was in it?
BEN: You know what I heard? It was Ambassador Spock.

What would Spock be doing in Cardassian space?

TROI: I don't know. It seems to me that you and Lavelle are a lot alike.
RIKER: What? We're not at all alike.

They really aren't. Riker was never afflicted by the self-doubt that Lavelle has. As far as I can tell their only similarity is confidence while playing poker.

OGAWA: You know, Sam, maybe you shouldn't try so hard with Riker. It doesn't matter whether he likes you as long as he respects you.

Exactly. You'd think there'd be an Academy course for that.

TROI: Didn't you tell me that you took up poker so you could be the officer's game at the Potemkin?
RIKER: I happen to like poker.
TROI: But your senior officers might have thought you were trying to ingratiate yourself. I guess it's lucky that they realised you were young and inexperienced, and decided not to hold it against you.

I'm not seeing the connection between "learning how to play poker" and "you automatically get the right to join the senior officer's game".

TAURIK: What I find curious is that when Commander La Forge saw that the technique I was using was actually more efficient, he seemed annoyed.
BEN: Of course he was.
LAVELLE: He didn't like the fact that you knew something he didn't.

No, I think Geordi was hoping that Taurik wouldn't ask any questions about this operation that he shouldn't know anything about. Frankly Taurik shouldn't have been anywhere near that shuttle, Data could've done the same job faster.

SITO: How am I supposed to defend myself when I can't see a thing?

Actually I'd think the Klingons would train blindfolded from time to time just to enhance their other senses. After all, will their enemy stop attacking just because you're blind?

SITO: If you didn't want me on your ship you should have said so when I was assigned to it. It's not your place to punish me for what I did at the Academy.

Exactly. Furthermore the idea that someone is irredeemable because of one mistake doesn't seem to fit the idealized Federation.

OGAWA: He asked me to marry him.
CRUSHER: Alyssa, that's wonderful! I'm so relieved. I mean happy.

This still seems a bit fast, especially since she'll get pregnant immediately. They should've implied a longer offscreen courtship.

JORET: I'm sick of war. My people need peace.

Too bad you won't get it thanks to Dukat and the Dominion.

RIKER: Try narrowing the scan field. See if you can pick up any biosigns.
LAVELLE: Sir, it would help if I knew what kind of life signs to look for.
RIKER: You're scanning for Bajoran lifesigns.

Is there some peculiarity of Bajoran lifesigns that would be easier to scan for?

WORF: I appreciate what you are trying to do, but it is not appropriate. You were her friends. I was only her commanding officer.
BEN: Sir, I happen to know that she considered you a friend.

Like I said earlier, it would've been nice to tie Worf into the lower decks characters' plot earlier. Perhaps he could've given Lavelle some advice about dealing with Riker, or something.

The Fiver

Troi: Outwit. Outspeak. Outlive.

Are there some missing first lines here. And is this supposed to be a Survivor reference?

Taurik: If I could have a word with you, I have a new plan that would increase our efficiency in engineering.
LaForge: Let's have a look.
Taurik: (hands Geordi a PADD). As you can see, if we can find ourselves a Klingon-human hybrid, and then give her pon far--
LaForge: Wait, wait. How will that increase efficiency in engineering?
Taurik: By increasing the efficiency of its best engineer, of course.

Hardy har har. It is a little icky, though.

Riker: Well I am from Alaska, I do know a little about Canada.
Lavelle: Alaska? Wow, I had a friend who went to Auburn University.

Auburn University is in Arkansas. I don't think Lavelle would make for a good contestant on Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego...

Picard: Ensign Sito, quite frankly I think you're irresponsible, an officer of disputed character, and I absolutely hate your hair!
Sito: With all due respect sir, so were you, so were you, and you're just jealous.

Except for the Borg stuff, when was Picard suspected of disputed character?

Lavelle: I'm worried, tell me everything you know that's classified.

I think a big misstep in the episode is Lavelle not having a secret like the other three.

Memory Alpha

* Barclay was considered for a role as one of the lower decks characters, but I don't think it would've worked. His age and social awkwardness would make him a bad fit with the youngsters.
* The creators wanted to bring Sito back in DS9, but I don't think it would've worked. What role would she have played on the station after being rescued? It would've made for great character developmente for Worf, but also would've required a lot of exposition to catch the DS9 viewers up.

Nitpicker's Guide

* An Air Force officer wrote in to Phil saying that an officer's immediate superior would be responsible for his evaluation, you wouldn't have the first officer covering the entire ship.
* "Lower Decks" is stated to be three years ago, but it was really less than two. Three years was required because Sito had to redo her junior year and then do her senior year.
* Phil questions how Crusher can create Cardassian blood when she couldn't do Romulan blood back in "The Enemy". I'll willingly chalk this up to iron based blood being easier than copper-based.
* Why isn't Sito wearing a Bajoran earring? I'd argue that she wasn't devout, but neither was Ro. Maybe Sito just didn't want to make waves insisting on her right to wear the earring, she thought that she was on thin ice as it was.