50th Anniversary TOS Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

January 24th, 1969, "That Which Survives"

Fiver (by Derek)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

SPOCK: The age of this planet would seem to be only a few thousand years. It would be impossible for vegetation to evolve in so short a period.
KIRK: Its size is approximately that of Earth's moon.
SPOCK: But its mass and atmosphere are similar to Earth.
KIRK: That would be difficult to explain.
SPOCK: It would be impossible, Captain. An atmosphere could not evolve in so short a period of time.
KIRK: And yet it has.
SPOCK: Evidently. But the inconsistencies are so compounded as to present a seemingly impossible phenomenon.

Those wily Magratheans have been hard at work it seems. Once again a TOS episode starts with questions that will never be answered. Grrr....

SULU: What kind of earthquakes do they have in this place?
KIRK: I don't know. Any more like that and they'll tear this planet apart.

Obviously not, or else the planet wouldn't be here for you to visit. Unless you're going to claim that this earthquake doesn't have a natural cause and this is really the first one this strong.

D'AMATO: Captain, this tremor we felt, if that's what it was, it's certainly like no seismic disturbance I've ever felt before. I got a reading of almost immeasurable power, but it's not there any more.
KIRK: Could seismic stress have accounted for it?

If a tricorder can't tell the difference between a power source and seismic stress, you need to return it for a refund.

MCCOY: Could it be the Enterprise hit the planet?
SULU: Once in Siberia there was a meteor so great that it flattened whole forests and was felt as far away as
KIRK: Mister Sulu, if I'd wanted a Russian history lesson, I'd have brought along Mister Chekov.

Burn! This is probably in reference to the Tunguska Event. 770 square miles of forests.

AHDA: It doesn't make any sense. But somehow I'd say that in a flash we've been knocked one thousand light years away from where we were.
SPOCK: Nine hundred and ninety point seven light years to be exact, Lieutenant.
SCOTT: But that's not possible. Nothing can do that.

The only thing I can think of that can do this would be Q. A thousand light years is about as far as a ship goes in a year in the 24th century. For the 23th century we're probably talking about closer to two. Yet another indication that TOS speeds are way faster than TNG speeds, when both the center and edge of the galaxy aren't considered extremely distant journeys.

SULU: All vegetation is inedible. Poison to us.

I hate nonsense like this. First, Sulu can't have scanned all possible plantlife within easy walking distance in so short a time. Second, plants get poisonous because of natural selection, the ones that don't prove poisonous to the local wildlife tend to get eaten. No animals mean no poison.

KIRK: Yes. I don't see any water, but there must be some to grow the vegetation. A source of water would stretch our survival.

Yeah, by a matter of a few days. It's stuff like this that suggests that the crew are idiots for not beaming down to uninhabited planets without taking at least a backpack survival kit. Surely one of the redshirts could carry some energy bars, a tarp to extract water from the atmosphere, a blanket, etc.

SULU: Poor D'Amato. What a terrible way to die.
KIRK: There are no good ways, Sulu.

Fair enough, but some ways are better than others and Kirk's line almost seems like preaching. Are we sure Gene wasn't around this season?

RAHDA: We're holding warp eight point four, sir. If we can maintain it, our estimated time of arrival is eleven and one half solar hours.

They're implying that Warp 8 in TOS can cover a thousand light years in 12 hours. I did the math before discovering that Memory Alpha did it for me. 765,000 times the speed of light, faster than any other method of travel that's not caused by Kes or Q. And of course the big problem is that the thousand light years wasn't required and was clearly only put there to imply a large distance.

Using the usual TOS warp speed equation, this distance takes almost two years. A reasonable twelve hour high warp distance in TOS would be...wait for it...2 light years. Not quite as dramatic a number, is it? Another site says that to achieve these kinds of speeds you're talking warp factor 90 or so.

FYI, if the Kelvans modified the engines to do the journey to the Andromeda galaxy (2.537 million ly) in three hundred years, that's about warp factor 9.5. TLDR, this thousand light year thing is absolutely insane.

KIRK: We've got to figure this out and devise a defence against it. Is it possible that the rocks have life?
SULU: You remember on Janus Six, the silicon creatures
MCCOY: But our instruments recorded that. They were life forms. They registered as life forms.

It's nice to hear a reference to the Horta.

KIRK: This planet has no magnetic field.

Absolutely insane. I can't imagine why someone would build a planet without a magnetic field. Were the Magratheans too busy so the second-stringers had to be brought in?

UHURA: Yes, sir. Mister Spock what are the chances of the captain and the others being alive?
SPOCK: Lieutenant, we are not engaged in gambling.

Huh? He did this very thing back in the Horta episode! Spock can calculate these kinds of odds in less time than it took to say that sentence!

SCOTT: I've sealed off the aft end of the service crawlway, and I've positioned explosive separator charges to blast me clear of the ship if I rupture the magnetic bottle. I'm so close to the flow now it feels like ants crawling all over my body.

So I guess saucer separation really isn't a thing yet. As for plasma flow, Geordi didn't find it nearly this unpleasant.

SPOCK: Please do not take your eyes off of it. Lieutenant Rahda, arm the pod jettison system.
RAHDA: Aye, sir. I'll jettison the pod at the first sign of trouble.

So wait, did Scotty set up charges, or are they using a built-in system like the one that supposedly killed Finney?

The Fiver

D'Amato: I don't think it's actually a Genesis planet, sir. I mean, the Genesis project hasn't even been started yet.

I'm pretty sure it has. The real question is whether Carol is still experimenting in a lab or if the asteroid cavern has been started yet.

Losira: That not important. I am for you, Lieutenant D'Amato.
D'Amato: A metamorph? Sweet.

Coincidentally I watched SF Debris' review of The Perfect Mate just the other day.

Sulu: Since he's dead, no use in him going to waste, right?
Kirk: Mr. Sulu, I'm am offended at your insinuation. Offended!

I'm not very fond of cannibalism jokes unless they're actually funny. Like the old one about them not eating clowns because they taste funny...

Scotty: If by "intentional" you mean "sabotage", then yes. We may not be able to stop.
Spock: No worries. We can just use the kemacite in our cargo hold.
Scotty: We're out of kemacite.

Nice Little Green Men reference, but I'd have had Scotty make a punchline about how it doesn't arrive until Tuesday.

Losira: I am for you, James Kirk.
Kirk: I bet you're a copy of the woman that left you here, aren't you? And it's such a perfect copy that you don't really want to kill me, do you?
Losira: What makes you say that, Kirk-unit?

STTMP, too? The desire to bring out my TOS Bingo card has come back.

Nitpickers Guide

* The only time Kirk has refused a beautiful woman's advances. Surely something to record in the log!

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

The Fiver

Captain's Log: The Enterprise crew is suffering from Rigellian fever, which will kill us all in hours if left untreated. Fortunately, we just happen to be in orbit around the only planet in forty-seven bazillion light years with the cure. Even more fortunately, the planet appears to be uninhabited, and there are no foreseeable obstacles to success. Place your bets.
Sulu: 100 credits on Klingons.
Chekov: 75 on a gaseous space entity... OF CHAIRS!
Uhura: (shudder) All section heads report their bets are in, sir.
Safe money on non-corporeal being. To you, Spock.
Spock: I'm getting Trelane vibes. 500 credits on a super-powered hermit.

Ah, TOS Bingo, it’s a classic. My money is on lethal plants that will kill a redshirt in the first minute.

Yep, that whole scene is classic.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

February 28th, 1969, "The Cloud Minders"
[...]

I'm glad that the series is almost over, because this whole "we need something on Planet A to stop a disaster on Planet B" thing is really getting old.

And it kept appearing in TNG.

The Fiver

[...]

Spock: Why do you not trust Advisor Plasus' coordinates?
Kirk: I knew the guy once. He was a scoundrel.

Plasus is played by Jeff Corey, who appeared with William Shatner and John deLancie (and Alexi Roshenko actor Theodore Bikel) in a 1977 TV miniseries called Testimony of Two Men. This is what's called an overly obscure joke. Did anyone other than IJD GAF ever get this one?

No, but I just took it as a Lando Calrissian reference, so it wasn't wasted.

Spock: So let me get this straight. The troglytes desire only equality?
Vanna: That's right.
Kirk: No, no. S&M has nothing to do with equality....
Spock: (ignoring Kirk) Then why are you withholding the zienite shipment? We're not here to oppress you.
Kirk: Yeah! We're here to undress you!
Droxine: I wanna be undressed....
Vanna: Do I have to listen to all this? I think you should just send me to the interrogation obelisk and get it over with.
Droxine: Oh please, you're just a Troglyte; what do you know about thinking? I say we just send her to the interrogation obelisk.
Kirk: Sounds kinky.
Droxine: Quiet, you.

This is an entertainingly chaotic scene.

Yarnek: Aw, is everything taken but "Savage Curtain of Death"?
Spock: Looking at the title I'd say that's a safe assumption.

Poor Yarnek.

[Nate the Great]

I forgot to do Turnabout Intruder. Give me a bit more time.

[Nate the Great]

Here we are; the last TOS episode. We still have TNG to tide us over until DS9 and TAS start.

June 3rd, 1969, "Turnabout Intruder"

No Fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

JANICE: Your world of starship captains doesn't admit women. It isn't fair.
KIRK: No, it isn't. And you punished and tortured me because of it.

We might as well get this out of the way; this idea is ludicrous and I don't blame later Trek for completely ignoring it. And the stupidest idea is that it wasn't necessary in the first place! All that had to be done is introducing a Ben Finney-style incompetence on Lester's part that would've kept her away from command. Or even something closer to Eddington-she was railroaded into a career path that may have played to her talents but wasn't making her as much job satisfaction as command would've ("Tapestry", anyone?)

JANICE: I loved you. We could've roamed among the stars.

You want command, he wants command. You couldn't have served aboard the same ship. Plus it seems like marriage wouldn't have made you happy anyway.

JANICE/KIRK: You had your chance, Captain Kirk. You should've smothered the life in me. Then they would have said Doctor Janice Lester died of radiation poisoning in the line of duty. Why didn't you do it? You always wanted to. Didn't you? You had the strength to do it. But you were afraid.

First, while this transcript maintains the body as the sole speaker tag I'll be using Janice/Kirk and Kirk/Janice to indicate the mind/body. Second, when did Kirk express a desire to kill Janice?

JANICE/KIRK: Believe me, it's better to be dead than to live alone in the body of a woman.

Ouch. I so want to snark about whether we're sure Gene wasn't on staff anymore, but I will refrain. Again, this problem could've been solved with a simple change: for Kirk to live without being in command of the Enterprise, or even in Starfleet would be a living hell. More than enough punishment without introducing sexism and misogyny.

JANICE/KIRKoctor McCoy, you and Doctor Coleman seem to disagree on diagnosis.
MCCOY: No, not entirely. We both agree it's radiation. Doctor Coleman isn't prepared to say what form of radiation.
JANICE/KIRK: Will it affect your arriving at a correct treatment?
MCCOY: It's crucial.

I'm pretty sure that McCoy "outranks" Coleman even before you introduce the fact that he's CMO of the ship you're on. This conversation seems to be pointless.

JANICE/KIRK: He hung onto life too hard. I couldn't
COLEMAN: You couldn't because you love him. You want me to be his murderer.
JANICE/KIRK: Love? Him? I love the life he led. The power of a starship commander. It's my life now.

There's an interesting philosophical discussion to be had here: what were Lester's feelings and desires before and after Kirk came along and right now. Furthermore, I think it's safe to say that Kirk wasn't a captain during the initial relationship. Was her love always on an unconscious level only?

COLEMAN: Doctor Lester and her staff have been under my supervision for two years. If you don't follow my recommendations, responsibility for her health or her death will be yours.

Well, yeah! Is this supposed to be a threat? I'm pretty sure you don't get to become chief medical officer without being able to handle patient deaths, even deaths where you didn't do all of the treatment.

JANICE/KIRK: Doctor McCoy, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to take you off the case and turn it over to Doctor Coleman.
MCCOY: You can't do this! On this ship my medical authority is final!

Exactly! What is this accomplishing besides causing suspicion of Janice? Was there no drug handy that could've pushed Kirk into a coma that looks like radiation poisoning?

JANICE/KIRK [OC]: The Enterprise is proceeding to its next mission, on the course set before I took over command. Now the years I spent studying every single detail of the ship's operation will be tested. With a little experience, I will be invulnerable to suspicion.

Now comes the time to really point out the main flaw in Lester's plan: not everything can be a part of the records available to her? Maybe the basic ship's layout, what's on each deck, etc. would be available to her, but not a current crew manifest or the complete details of every mission. If we wanted to we could come up with a list of episodes where the details would have to be classified above the level that Janice would have access to, "The Enterprise Incident" and "Metamorphosis" come to mind immediately.

SPOCK: If the diagnosis of Doctor Lester's illness is the critical problem, then the Benecia Colony is definitely not the place for her. Their medical facilities are the most primitive.
JANICE/KIRK: They will have to serve.
SPOCK: Starbase Two is fully equipped and staffed with the necessary specialists to determine exactly what is wrong with the doctor. Is that not crucial to your decision?
JANICE/KIRK: Thank you, Mister Spock, but the facilities will be of little use if Doctor Lester's dead. Time is of the essence.

I find it hard to believe that the medical facilities of any colony would be better than the Enterprise, except perhaps in patient capacity. Yet again, a scene that introduces plot holes for the sole purpose of creating suspicion of Janice/Kirk. A better writer could've done this premise so much better.

LYSA: Captain, shall I advise Starfleet Command of the change of plan?
JANICE/KIRK: No change of plan has been ordered, Lieutenant. Our arrival at Beta Aurigae will merely be delayed. Our gravitational studies of that binary system will not suffer, and a life may be saved! That is not unusual procedure for the Enterprise.
SPOCK: Sir, I believe Starfleet will have to be notified that our rendezvous with the starship Potemkin will not take place as scheduled.

Exactly. A change of plan has been ordered, and even if it's only a matter of hours a change of itinerary should be reported. In particular when it's a rendezvous with another starship.

[Nate the Great]

JANICE/KIRK: I won't submit to this petty search for revenge!
MCCOY: But you will submit to Starfleet regulations, and they state that the ship surgeon will require full examination of any crew member that he has doubts about, including the captain.

Exactly. You'd almost think that Lester was blowing hot air when she said that she studied how to impersonate Kirk.

Captain's log, stardate unknown. I have lost track of time. I am still held captive in a strange body and separated from all my crew.

If this log is supposed to be made at the time, how did Kirk/Janice get access to a recorder for this? If this log is suppose to be made after the mission, why doesn't he know the stardate?

(Chapel leaves, Janice pours the drink on the floor and breaks the glass against the bed. Then she uses it to cut the strap holding her down)

Cue another transparent aluminum quip. Even if plastic cups were still being perfected in the sixties, paper Dixie cups were ubiquitous. Who hands a glass cup to a person who is restrained and suspected of being mentally unbalanced?

GALLOWAY: The captain said no one is allowed to speak to Doctor Lester.
SPOCK: Has such an order ever included his senior officers?
GALLOWAY: No, sir.

Exactly. If you give the captain such powers it can only lead to abuse and tyranny. Do we really want another Garth of Izar on our hands?

MCCOY: The Robbiani dermal-optic is crucial. It reveals the basic emotional structure. You had one once before. Now I need another one to compare with that previous test. There should be no change in your dermal-optic reactions to the colour wavelengths.

The idea of an emotional fingerprint that can be done without a telepath is a wonderful idea that should've been explored further. An episode based around Troi vs a refined (and hacked by the bad guys) version of this device would've been interesting. But I guess the same plot hole that sucked up the pychotricorder also ate this thing.

KIRK/JANICE: You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know his thoughts. What does your telepathic mind tell you now?

I'll just link to the Spock tribute video "The Good of the One" here. The last sentence here was mixed with the music well.

JANICE/KIRK: You claim that, that you are Captain James T. Kirk?
KIRK/JANICE: No. I am not Captain Kirk. That is very apparent. I claim that whatever it is that makes James Kirk a living being special to himself is being held here in this body.

There's plenty to be discussed here about personal identity vis a vis thoughts and bodies, but I suspect that it'd get tedious rather quickly.

SPOCK: Sir, there is only one issue here. Is the story of life-entity transfer believable? This crew has been to many places in the galaxy. They've been witness to many strange events. They are trained to know that what seems to be impossible often is possible, given the scientific analysis of the phenomenon.

While I can see where Spock is coming from, this is a slippery slope. To claim that anything can be proven scientifically possible somewhere just raises more questions.

JANICE/KIRK: Mister Spock, have you ever heard of a case such as described by Doctor Janice Lester?
SPOCK: Not precisely, no.

What about Sargon and company? They should've been namedropped at the very least.

JANICE/KIRK: (thumping the table) It is mutiny! Deliberate, vindictive, insane at its base! But mutiny is charged, and encouragement to mutiny. Doctor McCoy, Mister Scott, you heard it! On the basis of these statements, I call for an immediate vote, by the powers granted to me as captain of the Enterprise. A recess is declared, to be followed by a vote.

Jeez, Janice, you really thought your plan through, didn't you? You really should've killed Kirk/Janice when you had the chance!

SULU: The death penalty is forbidden. There's only one exception.
CHEKOV: General Order Four. It has not been violated by any officer on the Enterprise.

This is misleading. General Order Four says no death penalty, only trumped by General Order Seven (no going to Talos IV).

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil also points out the General Order 4/7 thing. (Hey, look at that!)
* Phil points out Chapel's difference in hair color (brunette instead of blonde) as a production problem. I disagree. It's weird but not a problem. Wigs and hair dyes will still exist in the 23rd century, I presume.

[NAHTMMM]

A better writer could've done this premise so much better.

Agreed. I find myself feeling that way about a lot of stories.

Thanks for writing all this out! I know I didn't respond often, but it's been fun reading along in this and the TNG threads.