30th Anniversary TNG Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

The Episode

PICARD: Legends like that are the spice of the universe, Mister Data, because they have a way of sometimes coming true.

A cliche that shouldn't be there unless something was going to come of it.

TASHA: Yes, sir. There's an object of some kind beaming in from Haven.
RIKER: What is it?
TASHA: We're not sure.

Since when do our heroes let mysterious packages get beamed on board?

FACE: I hold a message for Deanna Troi. Lwaxana Troi and the honourable Miller family will soon arrive. The momentous day is close at hand. Rejoice.

Hi Armin! You're not horrifying at all!

(The box bursts open and scatters gems on the transporter pad)
TASHA: Jewels. Look at these jewels.

I'll be generous and say that Tasha is ignoring the nonexistent monetary value of these, but simply their beauty, a thing she's seen precious little of in her life.

PICARD: Will you and your husband be staying with the ship, Counsellor?
TROI: No, sir.

Yeah, about that...why can't Wyatt stay onboard? This ship is supposedly designed for families and civilians, right?

TROI: Your last valet tried so hard to rid me of it. Whatever happened to Mister Xelo?
LWAXANA: I was forced to terminate his employment.

The discussion of when Xelo left and Homn arrived will have to wait for "Dark Page" in six years. Ugh....

VALEDA [on viewscreen]: An incoming vessel has bypassed our stargate, violating our law.

So what's a stargate in the Trek universe? If it's simply a relay station that you're supposed to hail on your way in to let Haven know that you come as a friend, they could've said that.

VALEDA [on viewscreen]: Failure to communicate is inherently hostile.

No, it's not. Maybe the ship is a derelict, maybe the people are too sick to pick up the phone, maybe their language is so different from yours that it's taking them time to translate your message!

TROI: I only ever felt this, well, with someone who's on this ship.

So wait, your only serious relationship was Riker? And you had no particular desire to track him down, it's only serendipity that brought you together on the Enterprise? You dated no one else in the intervening eight years or so? I'm sure Riker did!

Captain's personal log. I trust my concern over the problems of ship's Counsellor Troi are not based merely on losing a highly valuable crew member. But it seems to me that she is trapped by a custom of her home world which the facts of the twenty-fourth century life have made unwise and unworkable. I wish I could intervene.

Odo's line about the price we pay for having freedom of choice is that sometimes we choose wrong comes to mind. I give Picard credit for not wanting to intervene.

LAFORGE: A damaged vessel, sir. That could explain it.
RIKER: If it were unable to reach warp speed, it would have taken all these years to get here.

I've done the "space is big, really big" joke before, let's cut to the chase. There's no need for this thing to be sublight (much ranting could be done here), saying that they're barely going Warp One and don't have the fuel to reach another planet is enough.

CRUSHER: The Tarellians had reached Earth's late twentieth century level of knowledge.

And yet they had warp drive, albeit easily-broken warp drive? To quote Linkara, "methinks this plot has many holes."

PICARD: Which creates a very difficult problem for the Enterprise. Our treaty requires us to protect Haven, and Federation policy requires that we assist life forms in need, which must include the Tarellians. I'll want you to help me find some answers.

I'm getting the feeling that Haven isn't technically a Federation world, they just have a treaty with them. What difference does this make? Would anyone's actions be different if Haven was a Federation world?

DATA: Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing.

A great line to end a scene.

RIKER: I will miss you, Deanna.
TROI: I'm no longer Imzadi to you?
RIKER: You taught me that word means my beloved.
TROI: And the human heart is too small to permit that feeling now.
RIKER: Have you discussed this with Wyatt? I think you should. It's also damned unfair to me.
TROI: I understand. I should have realised. Humans, young human males particularly, have difficulty separating platonic love and physical love.

Troi is written very badly here. I'll go into more detail after the next quote.

TROI: Actually, Bill was concerned that you might be upset that I care deeply for him, too.

And how do you care about Riker, Deanna? In this line it almost seems like she's claiming that she has the right to have romantic feelings for two people simultaneously. Even if Betazoids have that right (which seems unlikely, Lwaxana may play the field, but once a relationship becomes serious she stays monogamous for the duration), she doesn't have the right to impose this scenario on two humans.

Captain's log, supplemental. All attempts at warning off the Tarellian ship have failed. They still refuse to communicate and I am growing concerned.

All attempts? Apparently not, as you won't talk about stuff like tractor beams and weapons until later.

LWAXANA: All life, Wyatt, all consciousness, is indissolvably bound together. Indeed, it's all part of the same thing.

Ugh. Hippie nonsense. Let's move on before someone starts a poetry slam.

WRENN [on viewscreen]: You may turn off your tractor beam, Captain. We will not be going to Haven. We have what we really came for.

So you're going to spend another few decades in space going to another planet? You're not going to ask for spare parts to fix your warp drive? You're not going to ask for the location of an uninhabited world that you can die on? You're not going to ask for a tractor beam tow to said planet? You're just going to hope that Wyatt can cure you before you die?

[Flying Gremlin]

The Fiver for "Haven" made me wonder why no one made a joke about the box having big ears.

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

Genre savvyness is one of my favorite gags.

Me, too.

[Nate the Great]

My initial draft was too long, but this episode ain't worth two parts. I had to cut out a lot of Treknology nits. Is this really the best way to do the big introduction to the holodeck? A room that could kill our heroes if the slightest odd energy wave hits the ship?

January 11th, 1988, "The Big Goodbye"

No fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Riker: The Jarada demand a precise greeting, in this case from Captain Picard. Their language is most unusual. The slightest mispronunciation is regarded as an insult.

I hate it when alien races are made to be this unreasonable. We should lock them in a room with the Sheliak and throw away the key...

Captain's personal log. I'm entering the ship's holodeck, where images of reality can be created by our computer. Highly useful in crew training, highly enjoyable when used for games and recreation.

Gotta love that Season One conceit that "fun" is the secondary objective of the holodeck. No, really, we put this here for practical reasons! You're not fooling anyone, production staff!

Captain's personal log. I'm delighted with how the Holodeck has created the fictional world of Dixon Hill, the twentieth century detective who has been a hero of mine since childhood. The illusion is flawless. The characters I meet are generated by the computer, of course, yet they feel real, they seem real in every way.

Were the creators that terrified that unless they reiterate the illusion thing after every commercial break that the stupid viewers would wonder if they had the wrong show or think that Picard has gone back in time?

PICARD: And when I looked down into the street, I actually saw automobiles!

Stop being a fanboy, captain. We know that this level of holographic perfection has only recently become possible, but using the captain as the audience surrogate character was a mistake. Given her background Tasha would've been a better choice (in a different program than Dixon Hill, of course).

RIKER: The Jaradan are strategically important to the Federation.

Why? They sit between us and the Romulans? Over the last few years they've been talking with the Cardassians (I know that they don't exist yet), and it's important to keep them on our side? We trade with them for Resource X? Another sentence would be useful, you know...

Captain's log, supplemental. The Jaradan rendezvous still is eleven hours away. I am about to reenter the world of Dixon Hill, this time properly dressed.

Eleven hours? Get a good night's sleep, review the greeting again, get that taken care of, then relax, Captain!

WHALEN: He actually thinks you're Dixon Hill.

Ugh. There's exposition and there's treating the audience like idiots, and the line was crossed ten minutes ago! Who was it that said that intelligent audiences appreciate fiction that doesn't talk down to them?

DATA: The record will stand until the year 2026, when a shortstop for the London Kings...

This bit of trivia was extrapolated into Buck Bokai's biography. I'm glad someone remembered this episode so this could be done

VENDOR: Hey Dix, what gives with this guy? He's not from around here, is he.

The lack of perceptual filter thing is really getting old. Couldn't half of these things be jettisoned to make room for another plot elsewhere on the ship? Furthermore, it happens before the Jaradan probe, so this isn't a case of a malfunction!

(The ship shakes as a beam passes through it, including the holodeck, whose controls flicker and door briefly opens and closes a few times)

Don't ask me what a sensor scan has to do with the holodeck, or what the holodeck has to do with the doors...

SERGEANT: You're a pretty hep lookin' broad.
CRUSHER: Is that good?
SERGEANT: It ain't bad.

He he. "Hep lookin' broad?" I'm reminded of Troi in "The Royale"...

TROI: I don't believe this dialogue. Did humans really talk like that?
PICARD: Not in real life. Remember, everything that's going on down there is taken from what Colonel Richey calls a second-rate novel.

I suddenly wonder if Colonel Richey would've liked being trapped in a Dixon Hill novel better...

And of course "is that good" brings to mind the scene where Kirk sells his glasses...

LAFORGE: Not a thing. We have to go through this millimetre by millimetre.

Yeah, it's not like you could just unplug it. Unlike Voyager the holodeck's power supply is integrated with the ship. And Geordi, isn't this a job for the chief engineer (whoever that is this week...)?

PICARD: Soon, my friend. For the moment, I have other duties.
MCNARY: Blonde or brunette?
PICARD: She's a lady, all right, and her name is Enterprise.
MCNARY: Sounds like a working girl to me.

No, she's a beautiful lady and we love her! (Trek quote game!)

WESLEY: I don't know if I should. If this isn't done correctly, the programme could abort and everyone inside could vanish.

HOW? Even if the safeties are off, how does "holograms shutting off" kill everyone inside?

Memory Alpha

* It was suggested to depict the world of Dixon Hill in black and white, like Captain Proton would be later. I wish they had, it seems like a missed opportunity.
* The only episode where Tasha has the bridge.
* The only episode where the holodeck has two exits. While I could understand the flagship having a super-sized holodeck for when many many people will be participating (promoting Worf, etc.), I don't see why Picard would need one for this simulation that only expects four users.
* William Ware Theiss (glad he was on board for the early days of TNG) got a award for the Dixon Hill costumes.

Nitpickers Guide

* Data knows about cars, baseball players, and the events of every Dixon Hill novel, but a simple electric lamp confuses him. Ugh...
* No one even tries to beam our people out of the holodeck. A horrifying implication: turning the safeties off turns the transporter blocking shield on!
* The Jaradan probe shakes the bridge, but not the holodeck. How strange...
* Between scenes the lipstick on Picard's face changes shape, location, and color. Almost as though the scenes were filmed on two different days with two different kisses! You'd think they could've filmed all of the kiss scenes on the same day to avoid a problem this simple...

[Nate the Great]

I'm still pondering how an uncontrolled holodeck shutdown could vaporize everyone inside it. Even if you had to sweep the thing with baryons or something every time you turn it off, to complete the holographic reset, couldn't our heroes just unplug that part?

Then again, I'd hope that every holodeck would have a manual shutdown, probably a form of fuse.

The weird thing is that "The Big Goodbye" is supposed to tell us what the holodeck can do, while at the same time convince the entire audience that they are not fun and in fact are very dangerous. A scanning beam manages to lock the doors and deactivate the safeties and make the holodeck unable to shut down without killing everyone. And not even a weaponized scanning beam deliberately designed to do this thing, it's a random result! You couldn't get me within a hundred feet of this deathtrap!

[Nate the Great]

January 18th, 1988, "Datalore"

No Fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

My usual line-by-line commentary got real negative real fast. Good performances here and there aside, there are plotholes big enough to drive a starship through, and it got really aggravating real fast.
* The Enterprise is gonna spend a couple hours here, just in case they stumble upon something that was missed before. Did Starfleet just not care enough about what killed this colony? Why'd it take so long to find Soong's lab?
* Lore's reactivation should've taken place in a more controlled environment nowhere near Data. Furthermore a method of differentiating between the two should've been devised and applied before reactivating him. Data's capabilities are fairly well known, Yar and Worf should've insisted on having a way to identify and control Lore should he prove dangerous.
* The contraction thing was just stupid. It's far too late to introduce something like this, Data's already used more contractions than would be considered acceptable and forgiveable. Cue usual Nate series bible-shrieking here. Furthermore, even if all previous usages are to be forgiven under the growing pains clause, that doesn't forgive the times in this and all future episodes where Data will use them.
* I get that they wanted to homage Isaac Asimov with the positronic brain thing, but they mixed up "artificial intelligence", "robots", and "androids" far too much in this episode. Were the technical advisors out to lunch this week?
* Data is very clear that he only has the information from the colonists' records, and yet everyone seems to act (here and in "Silicon Avatar") that he has all of the actual memories from them. But apparently no one remembered Dr. Soong or the android experiments. Did Soong take the time to clean out as many mentions of this stuff as he could before putting them in Data.
* Lore summoned the C.E., the colony found out, and then they managed to disassemble Lore? Why would Lore let this happen? If Soong had an android-stunning weapon, why wouldn't Lore take it to use against Data if needed?
* Again Picard gripes about Riker not letting him go on away missions. Is this a recent order and he went on away missions for the Stargazer all the time, or did Picard complain to Ben Zoma for over twenty years? If I were Riker, by now I'd ask Starfleet Command to give Picard strict orders on this point: no away missions unless it's absolutely safe, and stop bugging Riker about it.
* Crusher should know about Data's off switch by now. Full stop. Make it classified, need-to-know information by all means, but Crusher (and the whole senior staff, really) do need to know this.

Some good points:
* Data doesn't mind confirming his loyalty to Starfleet over his brother. And this is a good thing; if he hadn't I'm not sure he could be allowed to stay. A desire to help other forms of artificial life is one thing; treating his commitment to Starfleet as optional and temporary is another.
* Wesley devoted a lot of time and effort to earning his place on the bridge, and he was still willing to chuck all of it because the ship was in danger and he was the only one who seemed to know that it was. Even so, I wouldn't have gone about it the way Wesley did, I would've been in my lab building an android-stunner.
* The Crystalline Entity is a good idea for an alien. You could imagine how a crystal could slowly grow in size, power, and intelligence over a long time in space. And imagine the fanfic about when the C.E. meets Gomtuu or Junior!

Memory Alpha

* Final episode written by Gene Roddenberry. I didn't know that he wrote any episodes of TNG, but apparently he did "Encounter at Farpoint" and "Hide and Q" as well.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Lore says that he will drop the shields and beam something out for the C.E. to absorb. It seems he intended it to be Data, but when it turns out to be himself, why didn't the C.E. absorb him?
* Phil also mocked the fact that the entire episode was about the fact that Data can't use contractions, only for him to say "I'm fine" at the end. Seriously, those editors were asleep on the job...
* In my original blow-for-blow commentary I made a Princess Bride joke at the "almost lifeless soil." It turns out that Phil makes it himself in the Guide. I've read the Guides several times, but for any Princess Bride/Trek fanatic the joke is obvious.

[Nate the Great]

January 25th, 1988, "Angel One"

Ugh, here we go...

No fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Summary of huge plot holes:
* There's no reason for Angel One to be specified as having twentieth-century technology, especially because they're going to be shown to have disintegrator fields and subspace radio at bare minimum.
* Relying on platinum did nothing but kill time. Scanning for humans as opposed to Angel One-ians would've saved time and created fewer plot holes.
* What did the disease plot accomplish other than killing time and giving the rest of the crew something to do? It's not like there weren't umpteen other possible subplots that could've done the same thing and provided opportunities for characterization. Furthermore, where were the transporter biofilters this week?
* There's far too much of the common Trek cliche of using "Prime Directive" to refer to all Federation law. This has to stop.
* In the early script Wesley's field trip caught the disease from an actual planetside field trip. The biofilter should've caught it. In the episode as presented it was a holodeck field trip. How and why could the holodeck create real viruses? Aren't there safeties in place to stop this sort of thing?

Captain's log, stardate 41636.9. As feared, our examination of the seven year overdue Federation freighter, Odin, disabled by an asteroid collision, revealed no survivors. However, three escape pods were missing, suggesting the possibility of survivors.

Why did it take seven years for Starfleet to get around to looking for survivors?

PICARD: Counsellor, as this is a female dominated society, you might wish to make the initial contact.

Time to bring up SF Debris again. This is a patently ridiculous statement. The Federation is about tolerance. We don't let the biases of other cultures dictate our actions, and we don't let our crews be biased against because of factors beyond their control. And as Chuck said, Janeway didn't turn over negotiations with the Kazon to Chakotay because of their misogyny, that would only reinforce it. Looks like pigs are flying again, Voyager did something right that NextGen didn't!

BEATA: Even a planet as remote as Angel One has heard of Starfleet. Searching the galaxy for survivors seems a petty task for one of their mighty vessels.

I'm with Beata, why is the flagship doing this mission? It's not like the armaments of the Enterprise will be needed, aren't there diplomatic or science vessels about that could handle this?

PICARD: I want all departments prepared for a warp six trip into the Neutral Zone as soon as the away team completes its mission.
WORF: Trouble, Captain?
PICARD: Insurance. Romulan battle cruisers have been detected near one of our border posts.

Seems like a prime opportunity to leave a shuttle or the saucer section behind. Too bad neither the writer nor Picard thought of it.

RIKER: Data, what's the best way to go about finding Ramsey and the other survivors?
DATA: If we can isolate something unique to the Odin survivors, perhaps an element not otherwise found on Angel One, we can utilise the Enterprise scanners.

Are you telling me that the Odin survivors and the natives are of the same species and the scanners can't tell them apart? Furthermore, this element thing (later determined to be platinum) does nothing but pad the episode while bringing in plot holes. If the humans of the Odin could be found now, what would it matter? And are there really habitable planets that don't have any platinum? Not one bit?

PICARD: Lieutenant La Forge, you have command until further notice. Please, make the proper ship's log entries.
LAFORGE: Aye, sir.

Geordi's in command? I'll overlook Dr. Crusher in this case, there's a disease on board and she needs to be working on it. But there's the chief engineer (whoever that is this week, wink wink) who can take command, it's not like there's a crisis in engineering at the moment.

LAFORGE: [OC]: Bridge to Sickbay how are you Doing, Doctor?
CRUSHER: We have more sick than we do beds. So far I've been forced to confine over three hundred to their private quarters.
[Bridge]
LAFORGE: We're going to be seriously undermanned if we're forced to engage the Romulans in battle.

There should've been a substitute starship on the way to the Romulan border by now, why is our crew still talking about this? And what's with the confining to quarters? It's been less than a day and somehow there's no uninfected section of the ship left, what does it matter?

CRUSHER: It's that smell. That's how the virus travels. An airborne particle whose sweet scent inspires deep inhalation. And once inside the body, it becomes that damned virus. I have work to do.

What does this have to do with anything? I thought that the airborne nature had already been determined. As SF Debris would say, you're filling plotholes that nobody was wondering about!

RIKER: And what about the Romulans entering the Neutral Zone?
DATA: The border outpost reports a contingent of seven Romulan battlecruisers within sensor range. The USS Berlin has answered the distress call. However, should hostilities erupt, both the outpost and the starship will be out-gunned. It is felt that the Enterprise's presence in the area will be a vital show of force.

Seven ships in the Neutral Zone at once, and none of them have asked for permission from Starfleet? I call that an act of war that can't be hidden from. I can't think of a single nonmilitary mission in Trek history that required seven ships in the same place.

CRUSHER [OC]: This virus is totally out of control here. Until I know exactly what I'm dealing with, I can't let anyone new be exposed.

Totally out of control. Last time I checked, the number of deaths is...zero.

RIKER: Understood. Doctor, would this virus have any effect on Mister Data?
CRUSHER [OC]: Not likely.

It's not like he was infected with polywater intoxication a few months ago...

DATA: And the USS Berlin can safely withstand a Romulan attack, and deducted our time to destination at maximum warp speed. That leaves Doctor Crusher forty eight minutes to develop an inoculants to the virus.

One starship can fight off seven Romulan warbirds for an hour? I don't think even the Enterprise can do that!

Memory Alpha

* Production had to be shut down for a few days because the script wasn't ready yet. It will happen again during "Arsenal of Freedom." I thought production work for several episodes happened at the same time. The idea that the only script available to work on at this time is "Angel One" is also terrifying.
* Props from this episode were reused in several future episodes. I wish that didn't happen so much.
* First mention of the Romulans in NextGen. In retrospect it seems odd that it took this long.
* It was Gene who did this temporary rewriting of the Prime Directive to cover all interactions with non-Federation cultures regardless of technological level. So once again it's Gene I can blame. As an idea man he's great, but when it came to the application of such on a practical basis he really needed a few more leashes on him.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Isn't it convenient that Dr. Crusher was never completely stricken with the virus?
* Supposedly the biofilters don't exist yet. Still a sad excuse if you ask me.