A plea for sanity

[Zeke]

First: I think I would commit seppuku if the event wasn't done by April 1. Nobody worry about that happening. (And read this LJ post if you haven't yet.)

Second: Thanks for the defense, evay. Much appreciated.

Third: Nate, I get it. I really do. I'm more frustrated with myself than you could ever be with me. (At any given time, in fact. If there's one thing we Catholics can do, it's guilt.) But what you don't get, after all these years, is how much you hurt your own case by acting so entitled. That "plea for sanity" may be the most presumptuous post you've ever made.

No, I'm not going to promise you anything. Not only did I decide years ago to stop making site-related promises (since it just adds guilt if I mess up), but it's not your place to ask me to. And as for full-series fivers, I sure don't consider them some kind of easy way out -- they take just as much effort as regular ones, and I try to make them just as funny. Anyway, do you really think now that I've finally been posting stuff again, you should complain about what stuff I'm posting? Getting back in gear takes time.

I value you as a reader, Nate -- and I resent having to fight you so much, especially "in public". If you have to be hostile, I'd rather you at least kept it in PMs. But when you make a post like this, I have to respond (and you can't expect that response to be acquiescent).

Finally, your timing sucks for a couple of reasons, one personal. So don't keep pressing -- I won't get nicer than this.

[Nate the Great]

You promised to stop making site-related promises, huh? That's news to me.

http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/sho...?t=1529&page=3

(Posted December 9th)

Zeke: TOMORROW.

Ooh, capital letters and everything, and you still couldn't keep the promise. When was the update? December 12th. Yes, two days overdue is extremely nitpicky. But a lie is a lie is a lie, and a promise is a promise is a promise. And nobody was holding a gun to your head to promise "tomorrow."

So all of you are saying that a webmaster can stop working on a site, walk away, and screw what the site looks like, what promises he made, or what the reader thinks. Talk about inconsiderate, monstrous behavior.

And apparently PMs don't work. You still haven't gotten back to me about the OOT 2.0 fiver. Apparently your schedule doesn't even allow for ten seconds to hit Respond, type out "My life is a mess, PM again about this in six months," and hit Send. I'd honor that request, and you know it.

Look, tell me to not complain for a month, and I'll honor the request. Tell me not to complain for a year, I'll mark it on my calendar and you can be sure I'll be honor it. But if you want a permanent solution, I can only think of the following:

1. Restore the site to normal and put up a big "the site is now essentially in archive mode. If you want to be put on a mailing list to be notified when we update, click HERE" sign.
2. Get some more staff. For Zarquon's sake, you used to have a handful of people who could update the site for you. Why didn't you replace Marc, Kira, Nan, etc. when they left?
3. Teach someone other than Derek how to use the reservation system. It was a good way to keep the fiver production process going smoothly.
4. Put someone else in charge of moderating the fiver by committee threads. We should be on our fifth comver by now, no joke.
5. It's clear that the site update procedure needs to be streamlined. Maybe some new software is in order. I'd be happy to chip in, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
6. Perhaps partnering with another site could increase our traffic. We need more exposure. Have you thought about assigning someone to start a FM.net blog over at That Guy With The Glasses? Every day they could post a preexisting fiver, and attach the site address. Divert some of that traffic our way.

[evay]

"monstrous"? Someone doesn't voluntary produce free extremely high-quality labor-intensive creativity-intensive entertainment on demand and that's monstrous behavior? Tell you what, I'm going to "request" that you stop complaining. You need a deadline? A year seems about right. "Nobody is holding a gun to your head" to come to this site, either. ZEKE DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. Stop pouting about it.

Yeah, he said he'd post something and didn't, or it was late. So WHAT? It's a bloody HUMOR WEBSITE, Nate. Zeke's not a doctor saving lives, or a cop arresting child molesters, or a firefighter hosing down burning buildings. HE. WRITES. JOKES. If you need timely humor that badly, I understand Jon Stewart has a television show he broadcasts frequently. Maybe you should check it out?

[Nate the Great]

I'm demanding that he stop jerking our chains. And that includes spending hours to convert the site for an April Fool's event without budgeting the time to actually hold said event in a timely manner.

I'll tell you what. April Fool's is six weeks away. This is the last post I'll make in the news section, or discussing anything related to updates or the site in general until April 7th. I'll even give him an extra week. You'll still see me elsewhere in the forum, probably still complaining about Star Trek XI.

I mean it, don't even bother responding to this post. PM me if you need a punching bag.

[Zeke]

I've moved this stuff to 5M.net Talk for three reasons. One, it fits better with this board. Two, I wanted it out of the otherwise pleasant January 7 update thread, where it's completely off-topic. And three, there are still points I want to respond to (though make no mistake, Nate, I'm not happy with you for continuing to push me after I warned you not to). More to follow.

[LtFielding]

Firstly, not that anyone cares what I think, I kind of agree with evay as since this is Zeke's website Zeke is god.
Secondly, if you want to have a religion started around you, I have some great contacts.
Thirdly, anyone want some popcorn? I think that it ends up that Nate is actually Zeke and evay is the murderer.
Fourthly, I'm bleeding and need to get some paper towels.

[NAHTMMM]

Considering that, at least from where I'm standing, the anime is supposed to be a one-time joke, I don't see anything wrong with Zeke trying to do a whole series in five minutes. In fact, it can make the situation all the funnier if he can do a whole series in five minutes (see: the devil girl).

Furthermore, I imagine it as a chance for Zeke to break from the routine and stretch his mental muscles a bit. So it's all good with me.