November 10

[Zeke]

Remember that mini-event IJD was working on for the TOS Season 2 DVD release? It's here -- and it's not leaving till it's kicked your butt down to the corner store. To celebrate the arrival of S2, IJD has fived two episodes from that season, both memorable. The politics-heavy "The Omega Glory" taught viewers an important lesson: not everything Gene Roddenberry writes is glorious. (This rule is now called the Omega Directive.) And who can forget the season finale, "Assignment: Earth"? It launched a highly successful series, after all. Read and enjoy IJD's fivers, and then go buy the DVDs!

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Spock: It's the U.S.S. Exeter.
Kirk: Aw, that's no fun. That's just the sister ship to the Genester and the Leviticker. Let's beam aboard and say hi.

Took me a minute to get that...I'm acutally mildy surprised I managed it.

Spock: Shouldn't we just hail them?
Kirk: Nah. Not with Uhura using up all our hailing minutes.
Uhura: ...so I'm like "totally!" and he's like "cool", and -- did you say something, Captain?
Spock: I see your point.

Tracy: (entering) Well, technically I didn't even talk about that. Oh, and about your lieutenant being shot....
Galloway: GAK!
Kirk: Either you just shot him, or you willed his death with ellipses!

Cloud William: DIEDIEDIE!
Kirk: MAYBELATERMAYBELATER!

Kirk: Hooray, I'm helpful this week!

Go Zoidberg!

Yang Forces: Stop fighting and come with us! We tire of your overplayed fight music.
Kirk: Which is that again?
Cloud William: You know, the one that goes "dundun Da Da Da Da--"
Tracy: Arg! Now it's in ALL our heads!

ROFL!

Cloud William: You both make an interesting case. We'll have to think it over while listening to our sacred music.
Sacred Tape Player: I was... Born in the U.S.A.! Born in the U.S.A.!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

McCoy: What the hell are you doing, Spock?
Spock: I'm telepathically making that Yang woman call the Enterprise.
McCoy: You can do that?
Spock: I can now.

Dude, you were in rare form when you wrote these *gasping for breath*

Kirk: Then invade their homeland and hope that those arms you supplied them with way back when are obsolete.
Spock: Ahem.
Kirk: Or just try sanctions.
Spock: (sigh)

Getting Brannigan/Kif vibes here.

Scotty: (over the comm) You won't believe this, but somebody has activated the transporter and Gary has escaped!
Kirk: Egad! Well, it could only be one man... Spock, have Chekov put in the booth. Maximum setting.

It's nice to see how your characterisation of Kirk is consistent from fiver to fiver.

Spock: (sigh) Spock to Enterprise: Scotty, can you direct us to Mr. Seven's location?
Scotty: (over the comm) In Hollywood, working on a script with Rick Berman.
Spock: Mr. Gary Seven, not Mr. Mrs. Braga.

*znerk*

Spock: Look, Agent Seven was in possession of blueprints for McKinley Rocket Base.
Scotty: (over the comm) You mean Kennedy Space Center?
Spock: Desilu doesn't have the rights to that president yet, so they went with the guy who was assassinated before him.

*snicker*

Guard: (reading) Want to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours? Read the other side to find out. (flips card)
Gary Seven: If you need me, I'll be sneaking onto the launch pad.
Guard: Okay. (flips card again)

Nothing beats a running gag.

Captain's Log: Want to know how to keep an idiot busy for hou--
Spock: That's not terribly constructive.

I rest my case.

(Gary Seven causes the rocket to detonate 104 miles from the surface)
Everyone but Spock: Hooray!
Spock: Miles?

It was 196-something. The Enterprise censors got retrofitted during the slingshot (just like the Planet Express ship's chronologimeter got turned into a 1947 pinup calendar).

Excellent work, Acronym Boy. The In Search Of audition piece at the end was amusing, but too long to quote.

Hopefully reading these will be the kick in the butt I need to write some more fivers of my own.

[Xeroc]

I don't have the DVD's (yet!) but thw fivers are great!

Excellent work IJDGAF!

[Derek]

Kirk: Ugh, this isn't my week. How long was I out, Spock?
Spock: A week.
Kirk: Ugh, this isn't my month.

Spock: Oh, how I hate seeing logic in the hands of idiots.
Cloud William: I, Chief Cloud William, must recite the sacred words! Bring in the flag!
Flag: Count the stars; I'm exact, yo.
Spock: Oh, how I hate seeing logic-wielding idiots who happen to be correct.

Kirk: Egad! Well, it could only be one man... Spock, have Chekov put in the booth. Maximum setting.

Everyone but Spock: Hooray!
Spock: Miles?

(Spock's pilot ships to the studios at Desiludicrous Speed)

Hilarious fivers, IJD! I'm just surprised you didn't put in some 60s song references. I was really expecting to hear Kirk say he had a hard day's night or to hear Spock refered to as Secret Agent(Asian) Man.

[Scooter]

Kirk: Ugh, this isn't my week. How long was I out, Spock?
Spock: A week.
Kirk: Ugh, this isn't my month.

This and the card-flipping gag were my favorites. I love IJD's Kirk--he's so venal and clueless. Poor long-suffering Spock.

Uhura using up the hailing minutes--best Uhura gag in a long time too. Excellent fivers dude!

[Alexia]

I havent read the fivers yet, but I got as far as the front page...

The 5MV Forums: over 40000 posts, including 10 or 20 worth reading!

:lol: :mrgreen:

[AKAArzosah]

I don't even like TOS (*ducks*), yet still those were excellent!
Especially:

Spock: I'm telepathically making that Yang woman call the Enterprise.
McCoy: You can do that?
Spock: I can now.

:lol:

[PointyHairedJedi]

Hehehehehehe. Most excellent.

You know, I almost got the Season One box-set the other day, but I was a tenner short, so went I bought some books instead. Mmmmm, books....

[mudshark]

Originally Posted by Zeke

The politics-heavy "The Omega Glory" taught viewers an important lesson: not everything Gene Roddenberry writes is glorious.

You know, The Omega Glory may not have been among the very best episodes of Star Trek, but I really don't think that it's as awful as some folks make it out to be. Morgan Woodward's bug-eyed performance ("We emptied four of our phasers, and they still came!") is worth the price of admission alone.

IJD, greatgreatgreat! These are some of the best fivers I've seen from you -- on a par with that for The Doomsday Machine.

(flips card)

:mrgreen:


Edit: Okay, so I still don't know how to quote html properly. Sue me. :P

[ijdgaf]

Thanks for all the high praise guys (and gals)!

Sa'ar -- that has to be the most impressive feat of quoting I have ever seen.

Originally Posted by Derek

Hilarious fivers, IJD! I'm just surprised you didn't put in some 60s song references. I was really expecting to hear Kirk say he had a hard day's night or to hear Spock refered to as Secret Agent(Asian) Man.

d'oh!

Originally Posted by Scooter

This and the card-flipping gag were my favorites. I love IJD's Kirk--he's so venal and clueless. Poor long-suffering Spock.

Uhura using up the hailing minutes--best Uhura gag in a long time too. Excellent fivers dude!

Yeah especially on TOS, it's easy to marginalize the side characters. Something I definitely need to work on.

Originally Posted by mudshark

You know, The Omega Glory may not have been among the very best episodes of Star Trek, but I really don't think that it's as awful as some folks make it out to be. Morgan Woodward's bug-eyed performance ("We emptied four of our phasers, and they still came!") is worth the price of admission alone.

.

"The Omega Glory" rocks. It's one of the best original series episodes around...

...until about 35 minutes in. Then it's one of the worst original series episodes around. Okay, I can vaguely accept that planets can develop somewhat similarly to Earth in a few respects. But an identical flag? The Declaration of Independence word for word? I'm sorry, but that's just a little stupid.

And the message at the end wasn't even terribly Roddenberry-esque (surprisng, since he wrote it). I mean the guy could be considered a utopian socialist, and he writes this almost-absurdly patriotic episode? I dunno, something seems off to me there.

The episode has great acting, an intriguing story -- everything I love about the show. Except for some reason they just totally ruin it in the last 15 minutes.

Anyway, thanks for all the high praise everyone. I'm glad everyone enjoyed 'em.

[Alexia]

Read the 1st one now :mrgreen:

Spock: It's the U.S.S. Exeter.
Kirk: Aw, that's no fun. That's just the sister ship to the Genester and the Leviticker. Let's beam aboard and say hi.

I'm thinking thats a joke, but it's gone right over my head :wink:

McCoy: I don't believe it! The whole crew has been reduced to salt!
Kirk: Do you think it could be the work of the anti-salt vampire?
Spock: Let's ask the last log entry.
Surgeon's Log: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
Spock: Hmm. Maybe the second-to-last entry.

:lol:

Spock: So how do you explain the long lifespan of the planet's inhabitants?
McCoy: Survival of the fittest.
Spock: That sounds suspiciously like an answer you made up because it sounds scientific.
McCoy: Meh.

:lol: :lol:

Cloud William: You know, the one that goes "dundun Da Da Da Da--"
Tracy: Arg! Now it's in ALL our heads!

Yes...yes it is :wink:

McCoy: What the hell are you doing, Spock?
Spock: I'm telepathically making that Yang woman call the Enterprise.
McCoy: You can do that?
Spock: I can now.

Gret fiver IJD :mrgreen:

[Chancellor Valium]

I only just got that joke - Exeter= Exodus Genester= Genesis Leviticker=Leviticus. V. clever. ha-ha.

[NAHTMMM]

McCoy: I've got about fifty things to discuss with you in relation to "finding a serum", and only one about "Spock nerve-pinching you."
Kirk: Let's hear the latter.
McCoy: ENOUGH about Spock nerve-pinching you!

Spock: Help, Lt. Galloway's been shot!
Kirk: We brought a generic redshirt with us?
Galloway: (waves) Hello!

...
Kirk: Hooray, I'm helpful this week!

...
Sacred Tape Player: I was... Born in the U.S.A.! Born in the U.S.A.!

Heheheh.

McCoy: You can do that?
Spock: I can now.

Scotty: He traveled either a great distance or a long time. He swallowed his ticket stub, so I can't be sure which.

Captain's Log: Want to know how to keep an idiot busy for hou--

...
Spock: ...Until next time on In Search Of, I'm Leonard Nimoy. (Uhura, start playing the weird music!)
Uhura: (starts playing) That's a stupid stage name....

:mrgreen:


Great work all around, ijdgaf!

[Marc]

Okay, I can vaguely accept that planets can develop somewhat similarly to Earth in a few respects. But an identical flag? The Declaration of Independence word for word? I'm sorry, but that's just a little stupid.

I think that Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planet Development (quoted in "Miri," I think) should actually be called Roddenberry's Law of Inexpensive Script Development. "Bread and Circuses" went one step further by giving us the Roman Empire combined with a 1960s-level culture (complete with television studios and police officers in motorcycle helmets). A very convenient way to use the historical and contemporary props and costumes available at little cost from the Desilu and Paramount storage rooms.

[AKAArzosah]

Well today's update was random. How do you come up with a link like that?

'Fighting evil by...' Damn that theme song!

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Arzosah

Well today's update was random.

I'm thinking of doing more like that. On days when you don't get new content, you might as well get a humourous ramble.

I found the link through a webcomic, Bigger Than Cheeses.

Secret powers are so new to her... she is the one named Sailor Moon....

[Alexia]

Yay, you used my link! You failed to point out that I completed the game an hour (or 4 :wink: ) after I mailed it to you :mrgreen:

And, in case I haven't mentioned it in enough threads, it's my birthday today :mrgreen:

[Sa'ar Chasm]

"She is the one who goes off the deep end..."

I once had a tagline in my Fidonet Tagfile that went something like this:

"WAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - Meatballhead

[SCMoll]

Originally Posted by Alexia

Yay, you used my link! You failed to point out that I completed the game an hour (or 4 :wink: ) after I mailed it to you :mrgreen:

There's a really easy way to play the game, if you're evil enough... :twisted:

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by SCMoll

There's a really easy way to play the game, if you're evil enough... :twisted:

Just turn your mouse upside down. :P duh