Sci-fi story help - need a little insight on a story i wrote

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]2 things:

1) I think our writing styles are quite similar, as I do agree with you on many of the points I raise, so any criticism can only be good. The logic doesn't hold, I know, but there you go. Lord that even rhymes.

2) My name is [bost_uid0]17[/bost_uid0]. Say it with me, slowly. Se-ven-teen. Se-ven-teeeeeen. There, that wasn't so hard, was it?[/colorost_uid0]