Terry Pratchett - GENIUS

[PointyHairedJedi]

From Going Postal, which I finished yesterday -

An omniscope is the most powerful instruments known to magic, and therefor one of the most useless.
It can see everything, with ease. Getting it to see anything is where wonders have to be performed because there is so much Everything - which is to say, everything that can, will, has, should, or might happen in all possible universes - that anything, any previously specified thing is very hard to find. Before Hex had evolved the control thaumarhythms, completing in a day a task that would have five hundred wizards at least ten years, omniscopes were used purely as mirrors because of the wonderful blackness they showed. This, it turned out, is because 'nothing to see' is what most of the universe consists of, and many a wizard has peacefully trimmed his beard while gazing into the black heart of the cosmos.
There were very few steerable omniscopes. They took a long time to make and were expensive to make. And the wizards were not at all keen on making any more. Omniscopes were for them to look at the universe, not the universe to look at them.
Besides, the wizards did not believe in making life to easy for people. At least, people who weren't wizards. An omniscope was a rare, treasured and delicate thing.
But today was a special occasion, and they had thrown open the doors to the richer, cleaner and more hygenic sections of Ankh-Morpork society. A long table had been set for Second Tea. Nothing too excessive - a few dozen roast fowls, a couple of cold salmon, one hundred feet of linear salad bar, a pile of loaves, one or two kegs of beer, and of course, the chutney, pickly and relish train, one trolly not being considered big enough. People had filled their plates and were standing around chatting and, above all, Being There. Moist slipped in unnoticed, for now, because people were watching the University's biggest omniscope.
Archchancellor Ridcully thumped the side of the thing with his hand, causing it to rock.
'It's still not working, Stibbons!' he bellowed. 'Here's that damn enormous firey eye again!'

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: