April 7

[Zeke]

Okay, maybe this wasn't the massive timesaver I thought it would be. Nonetheless, the five-seconding of 5MV continues! By popular request, feast your eyes on the all-new, all-microscopic Voyager, Season 6.

[Vedra]

I tried to get Zeke to post this alternative to the Five-Second "Tsunkatse", but he wouldn't so I'll post it here.

Five-Second "Tsunkatse"
Harry: Hey Doc, did you see this? Seven's beating up a guy on TV!
Doc: Is she oil wrestling? In a bikini?
Harry: No....but I'd sure like to see that, haha!
Doc: Then have I got a holodeck program for you!

[Opium]

"Tsunkatse"

The Rock: CAN you SMELL what --
Seven: I can't believe I agreed to this.


I can't believe people actually said this phrase...I remeber grade 11, when every "cool" guy was saying it.

*runs away crying trying to get away from memory*

[mudshark]

Virtuououoso

Got stuck?

[Kira]

Janeway: Check out my prehensile plant.
Prehensile Plant: Isn't it interesting that for all Ron Moore's big talk, the one Voyager episode he actually wrote is this, one of the most unnecessary Borg episodes ever?

Oooh, dissing Ron Moore. I dunno, I think you'll want to be weighing Enterprise against Battlestar Galactica before you get too deep into that one... :twisted:

[Zeke]

When I've watched enough BSG, sure, I'll weigh them against each other. But even if that show is as good as you've been claiming, Moore's one year of running it pales before his six years of being full of crap about Voyager and Enterprise.

Originally Posted by mudshark

Got stuck?

It's a trill. A mordent, technically.

[Ginga]

Yay, you picked season 6! Oh, goody, my day has been made. *off to read 'em*

*back from reading*

Oh my goodness, these had me nearly falling out of my chair. I think the one that had me falling the most was "Collective". XD

And of course, we're never without the joke for me and those 2 other people:

But just when they're about to reach Earth, they hit a subspace mine and get lost all over again!

[Alexia]

I only had 2.5 seconds so I haven't read them all, but from the ones I have read:-

Janeway: That went well.
Chakotay: "Well"? Starfleet officers were at each others' throats, Seven was nearly lobotomized, you fired me, and almost all the Equinox crew died!
Janeway: Ah, but a few didn't. Now let us never speak of them again.

:lol: So true...

Kelis: You'll love this next idea. Voyager finally gets home, right? But just when they're about to reach Earth, they hit a subspace mine and get lost all over again!
Torres: That's the worst idea I've ever heard.

LMAO nice VVS8 ref :wink: :mrgreen:

[Derek]

Troi: Sigh... I finally get more acting work, and it's still in this franchise.

Heh.

[Draknek]

The Borg Kids: ZZZZZZZZ

Heheh. I am such a geek.

Kelis: You'll love this next idea. Voyager finally gets home, right? But just when they're about to reach Earth, they hit a subspace mine and get lost all over again!
Torres: That's the worst idea I've ever heard.

Nice.

[evay]

Z, the "five-second" header is also on the "five-minute" parodies, for example in VOY's Season 5. Is that a site-wide database thing, or is it fixable for just the five-seconders?

Beyond that -- these are hilarious!

[Zeke]

It's a PHP thing -- I changed "Minute" to "Second" in fiver.php, the program that displays a given fiver. There's one fiver.php for each subsite, and while I could easily adjust them to affect only the "seconded" seasons, I figured it wasn't worth the effort for just one event. I may do it after all, though... for one thing, Google seems to be more on the ball than usual.

Derek: I find Sirtis' plight particularly funny because in an interview with TV Guide when TNG ended, she said she would definitely not be taking any offers to appear on the other Trek shows, at least not as the same character. How the mighty have fallen....

[evay]

If you're planning on leaving the five-second material up for future enjoyment, yes, I'd fix it.

And how did I miss the li'l snarking on the front page?

Yes, it's an April Fool's joke
No, it's not over yet
Yes, Zeke is lame

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by evay

If you're planning on leaving the five-second material up for future enjoyment, yes, I'd fix it.

Oh, don't get me wrong, the five-seconders will still be around after this event (just as the cheesers were after last year's). I'll find someplace to put them. But for now, they're piggybacking on the real fivers' code.

[NAHTMMM]

Heheheh at "Survival Instinct".

And :lol: at "Riddles" and "Child's Play"!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Funny. But then, what else can we expect?

Also, I've been meaning to ask - are the buttons for taking you to subsites supposed to be small? Or is it just my browser acting hinky?

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by PointyHairedJedi

Also, I've been meaning to ask - are the buttons for taking you to subsites supposed to be small?

Yep, that's part of the gag. Note that the column is labeled "MINISITES" now.

[mudshark]

Originally Posted by Zeke

It's a trill. A mordent, technically.

Ohhhhh, one of these: ~

[Xeroc]

I would have posted earlier, but I was away, again!


Great stuff, and quite hilarious!