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![]() After Neo leaves, Cypher jacks into the Matrix and meets with two Agents. He explains (mainly to the audience) his view that the Matrix is better than what reality has become. He makes a deal to give them Morpheus, who knows the Zion access codes, in exchange for reinsertion into the Matrix with a perfect life. This is actually my favourite part of the movie. Two scenes, synopsis here (but don't trust it -- there's dialogue here I don't recognize).[/color ![]()
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#2
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![]() Neo: Is that the Matrix? Cypher: No, that's just our screensaver. Cypher: You're not the first One. Neo: No? Cypher: You're at least the Seventeen, and possibly even the Fortyseven. Cypher: I want to be an actor, y'hear? Agent: Mr. Reagan, we can make you President. Cypher: Deal. You give me that, and I'll get you the next release of *insert video game here* before it hits the market.[/color ![]()
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#3
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![]() And yeah, part of Cypher's speech wasn't in the original Matrix movie.... But it does cast an interesting light on Reloaded. Anyway,.... [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]()
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
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![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]()
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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![]() *Neo drinks it* Neo: Yum, this is some good stuff. Can I have some more? Cypher: Huh? That isn't right. ------------------------------------------ Cypher: Hey Neo, I want you to try some of this stuff. *Neo drinks it* Neo: Phew, this stuff reeks. Cypher: Trinity told me to give it to you for that Knock Knock joke this morning. ------------------------------------------ Cypher: The Matrix tells my mind that this steak tastes good. *Cypher takes a bite of steak* Agent: And I tell the Matrix to change the taste of your steak Cypher *spitting out the steak* That is so not fair Agent: Trinity told me to do it.[/color ![]()
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NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
#6
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![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#7
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![]() Cypher: I know this isn't realiy steak, but it tastes like steak, which is good enough for me. Smith: Actually, it doesn't. Cows were extinct by the time we got around to programming the Matrix, so we had to use a substitute. Cypher: Which was...? Smith: Tofu.[/color ![]()
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#8
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![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() (and I can't resist a B5 joke...) [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#9
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![]() Agent: But you already are. ----------------------------- Cypher: I want to be an actor Agent: The last time we programmed someone to be an actor, it didn't quite work out. Cypher: It wasn't Neo by any chance Agent: Yep, he's the One.[/color ![]()
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NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
#10
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![]() I particularly liked Derek's: [quote ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() and: [quote ![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() NeoMatrix, I also liked this one a lot (slightly polished): [quote ![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() (Substituting "Keanu Reeves" for "Neo" in that last one might make it even funnier.) I also like Sa'ar's: [quote ![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() The bit about the steak does stick in one's mind, and hence is prime fiving material... I thought of working with this one a bit, though: [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() I also agree with NAHT... definitely the place for the "oh, nothing." I might go for the following (since I really do like Derek's): [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() It's a wee bit clumsy on the joke-melding... but still...[/color ![]()
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#11
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![]() ![]() ![]() One of the things I've learned from Kira (and it's taken a while to get it through my thick head) is that anything after the punchline is counterproductive. I've also discovered that you can have funny, or you can have plotpoint, but you can seldom have both. I say leave it at "Tofu" and assume the audience is familiar enough with the story that they know he's going to betray them. I'm surprised nobody's picked up on "That's our screensaver." I've been waiting *months* to use that.[/color ![]()
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#12
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![]() Smith: What is it you want, Mr. Reagan? Cypher: Can I have lots of money and power? Pretty please? I've been a very good boy this year. Smith: Okay... I can put you on the 'nice' list if you betray and kill your shipmates. Cypher: Hooray! Smith: Good. Now get off my knee.[/color ![]()
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#13
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![]() I think I forsee this being another long one. Neo: Is that the Matrix? Cypher: What!? Of course I'm not planning to betray you all to the Agents! Neo: Agents? What would make you think I was talking about Agents? Cypher: Oh, nothing. Cypher: OK, I'll turn traitor for you. Agent Smith: Excellent. Now, I'd like to introduce my boss. Seska: Howdy.[/color ![]()
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#14
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![]() ![]() ![]() I agree... but here in FbC, when there are lots of good jokes (in this case, particularly Derek's "summer blockbuster" and the near-mandatory "oh, nothing"), I find myself striving to defy gravity nonetheless. [quote ![]() ![]() Not my point. I wasn't trying to get across the plot. I actually thought mine was funnier. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#15
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![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]()
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\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
#16
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![]() ![]() Smith: What is it you want, Mr. Reagan? Cypher: Can I have lots of money and power? Pretty please? I've been a very good boy this year. Smith: Okay... I can put you on the 'nice' list if you betray and kill your shipmates. Cypher: Hooray! Smith: Good. Now get off my knee.[/color ![]() ![]() [color=#000000 ![]() That said, I like the punchline. How about, Smith: What is it you want, Mr. Reagan? Cypher: Nothing really. I just want to be reinserted into the Matrix, be an actor in a summer blockbuster, and have a horsey. Smith: Okay... I can put you on the 'nice' list if you betray and kill your shipmates. Cypher: That doesn't sound very nice. Smith: Just shut up and get off my knee. Hm. Still needs work.... (by the way, welcome to the boards)[/color ![]()
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#17
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![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() I still like the tofu scene, though.[/color ![]()
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\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
#18
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![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() I didn't think this was nearly as funny as the others I mentioned, though... Or as the Santa-joke-in-progress, on which mine own tweak is: [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [quote ![]() ![]() Whoa - I didn't even notice that was somebody new! So used to the same faces, I barely bother checking who says what... So welcome an' good tidings t'ya, Jobe![/color ![]()
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#19
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![]() ![]() ![]() Cypher: ...and I wanna be reinserted into the Matrix with a house, and an acting career, and a pony, and lots and lots of steaks. Smith: We'll only do those things if you do something naughty... like betray and kill your shipmates. Cypher: Gasp! You're the Anti-Claus! Smith: Just shut up and get off my knee.[/color ![]()
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#20
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![]() For the Santa gag, I prefer Standback's version because I think the "Anti-Claus" bit crosses the line of subtlety that we've been dancing around.[/color ![]()
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\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
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