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#1
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Disclaimers
So this is the disclaimer thread. It's a game, but it's a 5M.net thread, not scifi, so I stuck it in here. We just talk about our favorite disclaimers, invent new ones for our own amusement, and so forth.
Favorite: "All rights reserved, and most of the lefts, too." New: "This is a parody. Had we been taking it seriously, you wouldn't be reading this." New: "If you take this fiver internally, be sure to eat it with some ice cream. A cherry wouldn't hurt, either." New: "For nutritional information please e-mail the author at fivershavezerocalories@imaginarydomain.com" New: "If you were led here by a search engine, be sure to give it a cyberbone, and don't forget to send it away so the next fan can find it." New: "May the Great Bird of the Galaxy bless your homepage!" Okay, so the last few aren't exactly disclaimers, but you get the idea.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#2
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"This has been a test. If you did not find any of the preceding even remotely funny, then congratulations: your sense of humour bypass was entirely sucessful."
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#3
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"Got Gak?"
"If you're confused at the convoluted characterizations, please call 1-800-FIVERGAKS to enroll in our remedial program. If you're not confused, please call 1-800-FIVERHOLIC to summon the men in white coats." Over at 5MSG we used to have counters of the number of people who have read the fiver (or at least accessed the page), so there's a subcategory. "You are number XXXX to have your dreams invaded by a Reman." "Congratulations! You are reader number XXXX! Please call 1-800-DREAMON to claim your prize. Here's a hint, it involves lots of barking laughs." "If you see the number XXXX, then Q is messing with your mind. Just think about Shakespeare until it changes." "A ship has just been commissioned in your honor with registry number XXXX. Let's hope the tractor beam arrives BEFORE Tuesday." "Here's your disclaimer fortune. If the number XXXX is even, you're going to have a great day. If the number is odd, you're still going to have a great day. Live long and prosper!"
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#4
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"If you can read this, your font size is set too high."
"Help, I'm trapped in a parody website disclaimer!" "If you had the time to read this, you could've just watched the show." Gatac
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'? Justin: It's kind of a limited skill. Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges. - d02 Quotes |
#5
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"Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode."
Or was it on the swing?
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) |
#6
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"You are number XXXX to be confused by this fiver."
"If you don't understand a joke, you could try the forums, but I wouldn't count on it." "You have just voted for this fivist to become the newest member of the Q Continuum. XXXX votes and counting!" "If it didn't take you five minutes to read this, it's just a fluctuation in the space-time continuum. I wouldn't worry about it." "You've just been transported an hour into the future! Made you look!" "XXXX people have been confused by the third scene in this fiver. You may now count yourself a member of the elite fiver audience."
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
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