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Old 02-14-2019, 08:10 PM
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Nate the Great Nate the Great is online now
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The Fiver

Captain's Log: The Enterprise crew is suffering from Rigellian fever, which will kill us all in hours if left untreated. Fortunately, we just happen to be in orbit around the only planet in forty-seven bazillion light years with the cure. Even more fortunately, the planet appears to be uninhabited, and there are no foreseeable obstacles to success. Place your bets.
Sulu: 100 credits on Klingons.
Chekov: 75 on a gaseous space entity... OF CHAIRS!
Uhura: (shudder) All section heads report their bets are in, sir.
Safe money on non-corporeal being. To you, Spock.
Spock: I'm getting Trelane vibes. 500 credits on a super-powered hermit.

Ah, TOS Bingo, it’s a classic. My money is on lethal plants that will kill a redshirt in the first minute.

Ranya: I wanna see them, Flint!
Solomon: But you already can, on this John Ashcroft-style monitor.

I think this is supposed to be a post-9/11 paranoia joke. Confirmation, Wowwy?

McCoy: M4 should be done processing the Rytalyn by now. I'm gonna go get it.
Kirk: I've been thinking...
Spock: How unfortunate.

“LeFou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking.” “A dangerous pastime...” “I know!”

Gene Roddenberry: Not until I kill him, "Amok Time"-style!
Kirk: Whoa, you're also Gene Roddenberry? That is a pretty paradox.
Arby's Oven Mitt: Oh. Hadn't thought of that. (is struck down by a bolt of lighting from the Logic Gods)

“The Babel Fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It proves you exist and so, therefore, you don’t. QED.”
“Oh dear, I hadn’t thought of that.”

Rayna: Oh no, an Admiral Haftel complex! Non sequitur! Error! Error! GAK!

Poor Lal.

Spock: (gasp) That monster created life and ran it on Windows 2000!
Kirk: How dastardly! After all, Windows 98 would have run twice as well!
McCoy: I think you're missing the point.

There’s a time capsule joke for you. FYI I went from 98 to Me, so I missed out on 2000.

Memory Alpha

• If Flint being Lazarus is supposed to explain away the Christian god or the divinity of Jesus Christ, it failed miserably because Lazarus was not the only resurrection performed by Christ.
• A Brahms soundalike was composed for the music that Spock plays, even though real Brahms sheet music is present. Why you’d need a soundalike is beyond me, I think Brahms is firmly public domain by now.
• Q’s peering into the viewscreen in “Death Wish” is mentioned. However, I jolly well think that a member of the Q Continuum has the power to project their image onto a viewscreen and see what’s on the bridge without a window being present.
• In “Concerning Flight” Janeway mentions that Kirk met da Vinci, so Spock must’ve wiped Kirk’s mind of just his feelings for Rayna, not the entire mission on the planet.
• Here McCoy thinks that alcohol can make Spock drunk, while in Star Trek V he doesn’t. The easiest solution is to say that Star Trek V never happened.

Nitpicker’s Guide

• Why is a planet called Holberg 917G in the Omega System? It does sound like Holberg 917G means that this is the seventh planet of the 917th star system charted by Holberg, right? “Omega Sector” would be better, right?
• How could Kirk make Rayna happy? She couldn’t stay on the ship, and he would never ask for planetary duty. They’d never be together except for a few days every so often.
• Kirk can’t keep Flint a secret because he’s already recorded Captain’s Logs mentioning him.
• Phil says that if Flint shrunk the Enterprise down to a paperweight, it would crush the desk. In “Mudd’s Women” Scotty declares the ship to be almost a million gross tons. A gross ton is 2240 pounds instead of 2000. Over two billion pounds coming from this model would do more than crush the desk, it would probably sink all the way to the center of the planet. Either Flint is lying and this is a fake, or else whatever mechanism is keeping it here is also negating the mass.

Memory Beta

• Okay, now it’s time to talk about Micah Brack. The sadly completely non-canon novel Federation places him during Zephram Cochrane’s lifetime (the Federation version of Cochrane, FYI, not the First Contact version. In Federation Cochrane went to Alpha Centauri and back for his first warp flight). After Cochrane proves that warp drive is possible, Brack invests in various enterprises designed to get humanity out into space as soon as possible. By the time Brack’s partners figure out he’s throwing away piles of money, it’ll be too late: humanity will be out there and will need them. In fact, Cochrane marries Brack’s daughter.
• Another new identity for Flint is Emil Vaslovik, revealed in the novel “Immortal Coil.” A deliberate Questor Tapes reference, Vaslovik worked with Noonien Soong and Ira Graves on artificial intelligence. He deliberately faked his death in the episode to get Kirk off his trail. Vaslovik tries to create a new android girlfriend, too bad she falls in love with Data instead. I highly recommend the book.
• In a Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes comic crossover he is revealed to be the same person as Vandal Savage, who has used the power of Q to create an empire. Weird stuff.
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Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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