[Nate the Great]

Hey, of course! I own all four Trek Nitpicker's Guides. I've visited Nitpicker Central here on the web often. As a mark of celebration, here are some classic Nitpicker's Guide quotes!

After capturing the first ever view of the Romulans, Spock’s eyebrows rise in amazement. No wonder. His father commands the Romulan vessel! Just joking.

This episode purports that in 1993, a group of genetically engineered humans took over forty nations. I must have been watching Star Trek that day because I completely missed it.

After setting course for Talos, time warp factor seven, the creators overlay the bridge action with a star field and music. This gives the impression that the Enterprise is rocketing through space. Since the music is drowning out any possibility of conversation, the navigator gives Pike a hand signal to indicate that they have achieved warp factor seven. A hand signal? On the Enterprise? Someone needs to turn the music down.

It sure seems like “God” could have parked a little closer. It’s not as if the lot was full or anything.

This Enterprise has phasers in the galley. Now, there’s an incentive for the cooks to do a good job!

True, the Enterprise does a lot of mapping missions, but somehow I thought “boldly going” would be a little more exciting than this.

The Borg, again? For the season finale, again!?

In other words, Data–in the middle of a ferocious battle–decides to rid himself of the wall panel by putting it back where he found it instead of throwing it down on the floor, as a human would. In some ways, he really is superior.

As nitpicker David M. Blakeman pointed out (on the idea of showing the danger of a rift by making one), “That’s like protesting the possible danger from a nuclear power plant by causing a nuclear meltdown yourself! What’s next? Smokey Bear starting forest fires so we can see how bad they are?”

I can just imagine what the high-muck-a-muck admiral back at Headquarters will say when she reads this report. “Okay, let me get this straight. Captain Picard expects us to believe that he saved the human race, but none of us can recall the incident. I suppose the next thing you’re going to tell me is that he wants a medal for it!”

Is Harriman’s ability to command getting delivered on Tuesday as well?

La Forge asks, “Are you finished?” Pulaski nods, and La Forge replaces the VISOR. Pulaski NODS? To the blind guy? And he responds?

Picard probably reduces his stress level by “zooming” the Stargazer around his office, making the sounds of the warp drive and weapons systems in the process. Of course, when someone “dweedles” at his door, the captain must hurredly replace the model, jump behind the desk, and assume a more somber posture. It’s understandable that he doesn’t always get it facing in the proper direction.

Mintakans are supposedly proto-Vulcan, right? According to Classic Trek, Vulcan blood is copper-based and therefore...green! The Mintakans should say, “What is that red guck coming out of the wound?”

Worf announces to Riker and La Forge that the communicators are now “disfunctional.” I can just imagine the talk show featuring this topic. “Today on Sally Geraldo Raffariviera, ‘Disfunctional Communicators: Their Family Background and Why They Fail to Perform When Sitting on a Klingon’s Chesk.’ You’ll hear about their pain. You’re learn the deep inner turmoil they experience as victims in a technology-on-demand universe. And, most of all, you as the audience will be able to ask a bunch of really stupid questions.”

Worf was raised by heavily accented Russian foster parents, right? So why doesn’t he speak like Pavel Chekov?

[In “Shades of Grey] Pulaski evoked negative emotions in Riker by making him recall a series of bad experiences on the Enterprise, thereby boring some microbes to death. I’m sorry, that was catty. I simply do not like flashback shows.

If I remember correctly, when a warp core collapses, bad things happen. Sure wish Commander Deanna Troi was around so I could find out for certain.

It’s a minor point, but, hey, aren’t they all?