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Old 11-22-2008, 09:43 AM
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Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
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http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=493630

The guys over at the Straight Dope forums are compiling quite the list of geek jokes. If you don't feel like browsing both pages I'll compile the best (in my opinion) here:
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f(x) goes into a pub. The landlord says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions".

f '(x) goes into a pub. The landlord says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions". (This may look like the same joke, but it's not; it's derivative humour.)
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An engineer walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He runs out, grabs a bucket of water and throws it on the fire.

A physicist walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He calculates the exact amount of water needed to put the fire out, runs out, gets the water and throws it on the fire.

A mathematician walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He calculates the exact amount of water needed to put the fire out, then walks out of the room because the problem is essentially solved.
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To an optimist the glass is half full.
To a pessimist the glass is half empty.
To an engineer the glass is twice the size it should be.
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog sked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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