[Nate the Great]

February 6th, 1993, "Q-Less"

No fiver (has anyone called this one?)

The Episode

Bashir: (Babbles about obscure medical knowledge and brings up the preganglionic fiber/postganglionic nerve thing again)

Thank goodness this bit was only used twice (a third appearance was cut from "Emissary"). It was never funny. For the record ganglia are nerve clusters involved in the autonomic nervous system. Pre-G fibers connect them with the spine, post-G nerves connect to the rest of the body. Only an idiot would get them mixed up, which is why he lied about it on the exam. I'm not a fan of the genetic enhancement thing, but that screed will wait until "Doctor Bashir, I Presume."

BASHIR: Well, I mistook a preganglionic fibre for a postganglianic nerve during the orals or I would have been valedictorian. It was a trick question.

No, it wasn't. For that matter, why are you trying to impress a woman using obscure medical knowledge?

BASHIR: Life support's down. Oxygen levels have dropped dangerously low.
KIRA: (drawing her weapon) We'll have to burn it through.
SISKO: Forget it Major. The hatch is made of duranium composite. It'll take you an hour to get through.

I get that Kira is supposed to be hotheaded at this point, but that doesn't mean stupid. Especially when the Resistance would have reason to know how long it takes to burn through the hulls of various ships.

O'BRIEN: Vash?
VASH: That's right?
O'BRIEN: Miles O'Brien, from the Enterprise.
VASH: Oh. Yes, of course.

O'Brien wasn't in "Qpid", which was a little under two years ago. I understand that the officers would be gossiping about this woman, but that doesn't explain how she's supposed to know him.

DAX: We found her in the Gamma Quadrant. She'd been there for over two years.

No, she wasn't. And even if she's been gone two years, would Q really limit himself to the Gamma Quadrant?

BASHIR: I, I, I mean you've managed quite well considering you've been out of contact with civilisation for over two years.
VASH: I'd hardly call the Gamma Quadrant uncivilised. Some of the cultures I've encountered have histories that date back millions of years.

I hope that doesn't include the Domionion, as that seems like something she'd want to tell the Federation about.

Civilizations that have been around for millions of years (and are still around) include the Organians ("Errand of War"), the Vulcans (If you believe Star Trek Online, which I don't), and the Cybertronians (yes, there was actually a crossover comic featuring the Transformers).

DAX: She said she didn't want to talk about it. Said it was a personal matter.
SISKO: This doesn't make sense. A human alone in the Gamma Quadrant for two years? Let's check her background. See what we can find out about her.
DAX: She claims to be an archaeologist.
SISKO: That's a good place to start.

Why bother being cryptic when the Federation still has numerous records about her, plus she knows that O'Brien knows her story?

CLERK: The Assay office is the most secure area on the station. The chambers are surrounded on all sides by individual force fields.

I jolly well hope that the security office is the most secure area on the station. Furthermore, I don't trust individual force fields to keep anything secure, power has been lost before and it will be again.

By the way, an assay office is meant to test the purity of precious metals (usually the material for currency, hence proximity to mints), not hold safety deposit boxes.

We'll hear the assay office mentioned a few times in years to come, but it won't appear again until Quark takes Morn's gold-pressed latinum brick out of a box.

(Vash opens a box to reveal a large orange crystal with an inner light)
CLERK: Beautiful. I've never seen anything quite like it. Some kind of Promethean quartz.

Only mention of Promethean quartz. I find myself wishing that this stuff was Promellian ("Booby Trap") quartz instead.

VASH: All right, I'll be back tomorrow to pick everything up. I've booked passage on the Mulzirak Transport.

Only mention of the Mulziraks in canon. They only appeared once more in a novel.

VASH: So now the Daystrom Institute is interested in me. well, that's ironic.
SISKO: Professor Woo seemed especially eager to speak to you again.
VASH: Did he really? I suppose he told you that he suspended my membership from the Institute's Archaeological Council?
SISKO: On two occasions. Something about the sale of illegal artefacts.
VASH: Well, when it comes to choosing between science and profit, I'll choose profit every time.

Another reference to "Qpid."

SISKO: Tell me Chief, how well do you know this woman Vash?
O'BRIEN: Hardly at all. I only met her that one time she was aboard the Enterprise.
SISKO: What was she doing there?
O'BRIEN: Well Sir, Vash and Captain Picard were friends. Close friends, if you follow my meaning. Seems they met on Risa a few years back.

"Captain's Holiday" was almost three years back. I'd categorize that as "a couple" before "a few".

O'BRIEN: I think she must be a special woman, being friends with the Captain and all.
SISKO: Somehow she doesn't seem to be his type.

And you know Captain Picard personally, Ben? To the best of my knowledge the Enterprise won't be in the neighborhood again until "Birthright" a couple weeks from now.

As for whether Vash is Picard's type, that's another screed waiting to happen. I never quite understood their relationship. A fling on Risa, sure, but certainly nothing that could last. Frankly he should've shut her down back in "Qpid" and agreed to treat each other like strangers.

VASH: Thanks, Chief. Oh, by the way, how's Jean-Luc?
O'BRIEN: The Captain? The last time I saw him he was fine.
VASH: Now that I'm back, I'll have to look him up.

The last time you saw Picard he was positively sentimental. I'm not sure if that would make him more or less receptive to a visit from Vash.

Q: Really, Vash, I can't believe you're still pining for Jean-Luc, that self righteous do-gooder.

I'd object to this description of Picard if I could.

Q: You know, I thought first we'd visit the Teleris Cluster, look in on the star dancers at Mundahla. Or maybe head over to the Lantar nebula and view the Sampalo relic on Hoek Four.
VASH: Not interested.
Q: I know. Vadris Three. Charming little world. The natives think they're the only intelligent life in the universe.

I do wish that ONE of these was a TOS reference. The first one that comes to mind is the asteroid-ship Yonada ("For The World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky"). It stands to reason that a faction of the Fabrini would want to stay inside the Yonada and act like they're alone in the universe. They might even teach their children that they are.

Q: Two years in the Gamma Quadrant hardly qualifies as a grand tour of the universe. There's still the Delta Quadrant to explore, not to mention all the other galaxies.

One wonders what the Delta Quadrant races would think of Q.

Oh, and one of the Strange New Worlds stories reveals that Vash will be assimilated by the Borg eight years from now, but Q will rescue her.

Q: And a stellar life indeed. The eminent Vash. Barred from the Royal Museum of Epsilon Hydra Seven, persona non grata on Betazed. Wanted dead on Myrmidon for stealing the Crown of the First Mother.

Except for Betazed these planets aren't mentioned again. Makes you wonder why Q didn't namedrop the Sacred Chalice of Rixx or the Holy Rings of Betazed.

You have read about Q's encounter with Lwaxana in "Q-in-Law", right?

(Vash takes hold of his lobes)
QUARK: (ecstasy). You have a talent for oo-mox.
VASH: So I've been told.

Eww.