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Old 07-12-2010, 11:11 PM
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Default Ya kon es me kon

Kieradán: The Dream Gem has been located! I must run off with your ships, that it may be regained for the glory of the unDiWahn and DiWahn alike.
King Akhanatos: Traitor.
Kieradán: Liar.
King Akhanatos: Fool.
Kieradán: See you later.
King Akhanatos: What? We were just getting started!

Picard: Yay, bedtime again! Tell me a happy story, like the one where everyone died and Surak found you. Or the one where the king died, the queen stole you, and everyone else died as a result. That was great.
Ko N'ya: Dude, you're kinda weirding me out here. And I used to be carried around by a chick who thought I was some kind of artistic muse.

Counselor's Log: This is the best story ever! I did well at poker last night, and I keep being useful! If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. We're all really worried about the captain, though. Pet rocks are SO 20th century.

Security Chief's Log: Why am I so grumpy lately? Is it because Data keeps daring to gaze upon the Pagrashtak without its carrier's permission? Or because I've had only one line in this fiver so far?

Admiral Wilkerson: (over the comm) You may have found a piece of the Guardian of Forever. Keep it safe until we can glue it back on.
Picard: In your face, everyone! I told you this was no ordinary rock!
Riker: Maybe it should be stored with the Ark of the Covenant for safekeeping?
Picard: Haha, you and your silly little legends, Number One.

Captain's Log: Filthy little officerses, trying to steal my presshioussss . . .

Warden Chandat: The Gem has been recovered! We must hijack a starship and attempt to regain it, that the rift between native and Iconian Dynasians may be healed! Er, I mean, for the glory of our peoples!

Vedoc: As a secret follower of Surak's teachings, I reveal myself to be a deus ex sabotage.
Enterprise: . . . Meh, I’ll take it. Anyone have a tourniquet?

Ko N'ya: Enough about me. Let's talk about you. And by that, I mean tempt you with the power to change the past.
Picard: Okay, now I'm weirded out.

Captain Duregh: (over the comm) As the captain of the only functional ship present, I declare the Pagrashtak to be mine. Hand it over or—you know what, forget it, I'll just go ahead and kill you.
Picard: Eep! Save me, strange little rock!
Disruptor Beam: BOUNCE!
Bird-Of-Prey: Ker-BLAM KRRRAACKK-BOOM FUZZLE-Wuzzle-fizzzzt
Picard: . . . Did I do that?

Halaylah: If you only understood the true power of the Dark Side . . .
Picard: Oooooh.

Kieradán: As the representative of the Iconians' descendants on DiWahn, I formally declare that the Gem is rightfully ours. Hand it over!
Chandat: What he said, aside from representing Dynasia.
(A pause to see if anyone from Ikkabar wants to jump in.)
Picard: As the current holder of the Ko N’ya, I insist that PSYCH!
Kieradán: . . . Not impressed.

Wormhole: In my capacity as a very capacious warpage of spacetime, I declare FEED ME!
Picard: *sniff* Bye-bye, strange little rock. Don't forget to write!
Ko N'ya: Dude, you know what the intergalactic postage rates are like around here?

Kanda: I missed out on all the fun, didn't I? Stupid Immigration.
Camenae: Bummer. Want to talk about it?
Kanda: Sure! *ahem* I'm the only survivor of the Iconian colony on Ikkabar, that rock was mine by rights and if Picard hadn't thrown it away I could have changed history and saved my people, oh and let me tell you how awful being stuck in Federation detention is . . .
Camenae: Is this what Guinan puts up with?

(The Enterprise sails away at Ludicrous Speed)

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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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