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Old 05-09-2018, 12:03 PM
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May 9th, 1988, "Conspiracy"

No fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

LAFORGE: So the guy staggers to his feet and goes back to the girl, right? Well, she smiles, looks him right in the eye and says 'just try that in hyperspace!'

Hyperspace? What's that? If Memory Alpha is to be believed, the only other mention of "hyperspace" in Trek is a "hyperspace physics" question in "Coming of Age."

Seriously, where were the science consultants? This joke would work equally well if you invoked zero gravity instead.

RIKER: Increase to warp six.
LAFORGE: Aye sir. Full impulse.

No comment.

TROI: I know I won't. I've been really looking forward to a nice swim.
DATA: You are aware, Counsellor, that the holodeck can be programmed to recreate an oceanic environment.
TROI: Data, it's just not the same.

How? This is a perpetual problem where the holodeck is concerned. If the simulation isn't perfect, why is it available? Why bother with the thing at all?

WORF: Swimming is too much like bathing.

The season's almost over, and the writers still don't have a firm grasp on his character.

DATA: Commander Riker. I am receiving a Code Forty Seven.

Joe Menosky is the guy who will inflict 47 on the fandom, and he won't show up for a few years, so this instance is just a coincidence.

PICARD: You're using a Code Forty Seven. I have to know what this is all about.
KEEL [on monitor]: Not over subspace, no.
PICARD: Oh, for God's sake, Walker. This is a secured channel--

Why do "secure channels" exist if they're not really secure and people can't trust them?

WORF: Two are frigates. The Renegade commanded by Tryla Scott, and the Thomas Paine, Captain Rixx commanding.
DATA: The third is just coming into range now, sir. It is Ambassador Class heavy cruiser, USS Horatio.

A frigate is a warship that is built for speed. These ships are of the New Orleans class, a modified, smaller version of the Galaxy class. Their sister ship, the Kyushu, was destroyed at Wolf 359.

KEEL: Do you recall the night you introduced Jack Crusher to Beverly?
PICARD: You know full well I hadn't even met Beverly then. You introduced them.
KEEL: My brother introduced them.
PICARD: You don't have a brother. Two sisters, Anne and Melissa. What the hell is this all about?

Nice characterization.

PICARD: Tryla Scott. It's said you made Captain faster than anyone in Starfleet history, present company included.

It's said? Isn't something like that rather easy to verify?

RIXX: Starbase twelve was completely evacuated for two full days. No explanation given.

You'd think the press would demand and explanation for that. Furthermore, what would such a thing accomplish for the bluegills' plan?

KEEL: We're not sure yet. Damn it, Jean-Luc. I tell you that some of Starfleet's top command people are changing. This could affect the very core of our organisation. Officers I've known for years are bluffing their way through talk of old times.
RIXX: That's their weakness, a lack of memory.

A perpetual problems with large-scale replacement plots. It takes much more than what's on the official records to duplicate a person's personality and responses. It's too bad this isn't the last time Trek will attempt to feed us this kind of nonsense.

KEEL: Tell Beverly I said hello.

It's not like this was a meeting that we were attempting to keep secret-oh, wait!

PICARD: I trust Keel completely. If he felt it necessary to violate regulations, he must have had a good reason.
TROI: But you're putting your career at risk for him.
PICARD: Friendship must dare to risk, Counsellor, or it's not friendship.

A good message, but in this case I don't think enough evidence has been presented yet.

PICARD: Take us out of orbit, Mister La Forge.
LAFORGE: Aye, sir.
PICARD: Resume heading to Pacifica, warp factor eight.

Why wasn't the discussion with Troi conducted en route? And why not use warp nine to minimize the delay and the appearance that something strange is going on?

CRUSHER: I understand the Horatio was in orbit around Dytallix. Did you see Walker?
PICARD: No.

A classic example of "do what I mean, not what I say."

DATA: Startling. Quite extraordinary, in fact.
COMPUTER: Directions unclear. Please repeat request.
DATA: That was not a request. I was simply talking to myself.

I know that Data has talked to himself before, but having this appear before he gets his emotion chip seems odd.

DATA: The orders were given with great subtlety. To use an aphorism, Starfleet's left hand did not know what its right hand was doing.

Sometimes it gets annoying when Data understands metaphors during some episodes and not others. Returning to the plot, sometimes I wonder how Starfleet ever keeps everything straight. There are just too many planets and ships to keep track of. Can you imagine the number of middle-management drones filling whole starbases worth of cubicles that would be required for all this coordination?

Captain's personal log, supplemental. While it is quite unusual for a starship to return to Earth, we seem to be left with no other choice. I have apprised the remaining bridge crew of our situation.

And yet the trip from the frontier to Earth didn't seem to take long. The Enterprise has just traveled across almost half of the Federation in a day or so. It's almost like the writer's can't do math...

SAVAR [on viewscreen]: Greetings Enterprise. I am Admiral Savar. This is Admiral Aaron, and I believe you already know Admiral Quinn.

Yes, we keep three admirals around at all time to talk to starships who show up at unexpected times. We apparently have nothing better to do...

AARON [on viewscreen]: Governor Delaplane of Pacifica informs us that you cancelled your scheduled stop there. Is this true?
PICARD: Yes, sir, it is.

Wait a second. Picard defied orders and never bothered telling Starfleet about it? That seems like something needing at least a disciplinary hearing, doesn't it?

CRUSHER: The parasite appears to stimulate the victim's adrenal glands, generate great strength.

Can we all agree that this is nonsense and move on?

(The bowl contains live mealworms. Picard recoils)

What was the point of this? Even if bluegills eat mealworms, their host bodies don't.

LAFORGE: Any idea what the message was, Data?
DATA: I believe it was a beacon.
PICARD: A beacon?
DATA: Yes, sir. A homing beacon, sent from Earth.

It's too bad that this will never be followed up on in canon...

Nitpicker's Guide

* At the end Riker calls for Security, and not only do Worf and La Forge show up instead to save the cost of hiring extras, but they're not even armed. And the weird part is, Crusher is armed when she arrives!
* Wouldn't the biofilter catch these bluegill things?
* Picard is able to dodge a phaser blast. I guess these things don't travel at light speed after all...

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Last edited by Nate the Great; 05-09-2018 at 07:49 PM.
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