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Old 11-13-2019, 11:53 PM
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November 13th, 1989, "The Price"

Fiver (by Kira)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

TROI: Computer, I would like a real chocolate sundae.
COMPUTER: Define real in context, please.
TROI: Real. Not one of your perfectly synthesised, ingeniously enhanced imitations.

This is a stupid exchange. By now Troi should've either reprogrammed her replicator to make food to her taste or (if for some reason it's impossible to perfectly replicate chocolate) imported a stock of authentic chocolate for her personal use. And quite frankly the replicator should have dozens if not hundreds of varieties of chocolate in its database for her to choose her favorite from. Thus if she orders chocolate the computer should recognize her voice and substitute the generic chocolate for her personal blend.

COMPUTER: This unit is programmed to provide sources of acceptable nutritional value. Your request does not fall within current guidelines.

Another asinine line. This isn't the business of the computer programmers, and even if it was we've seen the replicator make junk food on many other occasions. And by now the nutritionists should've found a way to reduce the fat and sugar in a given food, substituting nutrients without affecting the taste.

PICARD: The pleasure of your company is requested, Counsellor. We're having a little impromptu reception for the arriving delegates.

Impromptu? The appearance of the wormhole runs like clockwork, it would be easy to schedule a reception around it and notified the appropriate people to arrive on time. Furthermore, Troi is acting like she just finished a long shift and is ready to veg out; wouldn't she have moved some appointments around to give her time to freshen up and dress properly?

TROI: Ship's Counsellor Deanna Troi.

I assume by "Ship's Counselor" Troi means that she leads a staff of counselors (much like McCoy declaring himself to be Ship's Surgeon). Does she need assistants? A little research says that generally there should be a psychiatrist for every 10,000 people, so Troi should be the only one. Furthermore, I find '"counselor" to be a little informal for a military organization (take that, Gene!). She can be called "counselor" by her patients or the senior staff, but to others she should be Commander or Doctor.

Captain's log, Stardate 43385.6. We are orbiting Barzan Two, which is entertaining bids for control of what appears to be a stable wormhole, which could provide a permanent shortcut to the distant Gamma Quadrant.

I wonder if the Dominion found this thing and has already classified it as useless.

BHAVANI: And as you all know...

Any writer who uses "as you know" or similar should be fired.

BHAVANI: The Barzan has been a society dependent on others for generations.

How is this supposed to work? They managed to pull themselves together enough to invent warp drive. Did they just give up and let others take care of them until now? Furthermore, could the Federation not fix whatever is making the Barzan not self-sufficient?

GOSS: We'll need chairs.
PICARD: I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise. I'm serving as host for these proceedings.
GOSS: Good, then see to it that we get chairs.
PICARD: Let me explain.
GOSS: Fine, fine, just have your Klingon servant get us some chairs.
WORF: I am in charge of Security.
GOSS: Then who gets the chairs?
PICARD: DaiMon, due to the delicate nature of these negotiations, all parties have agreed that one representative would suffice. Now I will be happy to provide your consuls with accommodations and you may have my chair.

The chair bit wasn't funny. The "Klingon servant" bit wasn't funny. I see no reason why the Ferengi couldn't have been a part of the negotiations from the start. It would make more room for character development elsewhere, particularly for Troi.

RAL: I never play the opening rounds, anyway. Inconsequential. Besides there are much better things to negotiate on this ship. Like dinner tonight?

Nice step forward for feminism, isn't it? Then again, I'm reminded of Lwaxana's view that men are commodities.

RAL: Yes, you were. When you leave this office, who are you? Oh. So that's how it goes. You never do. You never do leave the office.

Complete nonsense. Troi lets her proverbial hair down all the time. Ral isn't really endearing himself to me. He considers himself a supreme prize for any woman. He makes sweeping assumptions about Troi's lifestyle after knowing her for two days. I know that he's a quarter-Betazoid, but Troi has training against telepathic influence, right?

RIKER: Imagine the Ferengi collecting tolls if we lose to them.

I fail to see the problem here. The Ferengi could set a toll, but nobody actually has to pay it and go through. Furthermore the Federation could buy the wormhole back from them later.

MENDOZA: I don't think the Ferengi are the greatest threat at the table. With all of DaiMon Goss' bluster, they don't have the resources the Barzans need.

So? They could make an arrangement with the Federation, possibly in exchange for all noncommercial information collected by the Ferengi on the other side of the wormhole.

PICARD: The Federation could wind up buying a proverbial lemon.
DATA: Proverbial lemon?
PICARD: Later, Data.

Time for the "Data should have memorized all of human knowledge" complaint again. Picard didn't just say "lemon" to confuse Data, he said "proverbial lemon." He should have access to a dictionary in his head. Wiktionary has this as the fifth definition of "lemon", and there's "slang" right next to it.

RIKER: Geordi has continuous visual contact with the wormhole, Captain.

What? Everything Geordi's VISOR can do can also be done by the ship's sensors! Or are you telling me that Geordi's brain could interpret the readings in a way different from the computer?

ARRIDOR: A distillation of your own blood pyrocytes. Harmless to you. Undetectable by the ship's bio-filters, but when absorbed through your victim's skin, it will provoke an extreme allergic reaction.

The only other mention of pyrocytes is in Voyager, where apparently the Kazon also have them. While this level of technobabble is acceptable, I wonder why they didn't just say that they coated his hand with a mild toxin that Ferengi are immune to.

RAL: Ah, Federation decor.
TROI: Not your style?
RAL: Well, conformity is not my style.

Is this supposed to make him sound better, more interesting? Because it doesn't.

PICARD: The Federation's top negotiator taken out by a mysterious ailment. Suspicions?
RIKER: With the Ferengi around? Always.

While it's reasonable under the circumstances, this still seems like blanket racism.

WESLEY: The wormhole will reappear in thirty seconds, sir.

This business of the wormhole only being traversable when it's visible seems dubious, but I understand that it's necessary for plot purposes.

LAFORGE: You know, if this doesn't work, the thought of spending the rest of my life in here is none too appealing.
DATA: There is a bright side, Geordi. You will have me to talk to.

Data's obliviousness can be funny, but Geordi's line makes me ask why they're taking a shuttlepod instead of a shuttlecraft. I know that they expect to come back, but it's going to be hours. Won't Geordi want to stretch his legs?

WESLEY: They've travelled beyond our communication capabilities, sir

I find it odd that they could maintain a comm signal with a ship inside the wormhole in the first place.
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