[Saxamaphone]

[quoteost_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I have come to the conclusion that it is not the scenes we are writing that are so funny - it's [iost_uid0]the spaces between the paragraphs[/iost_uid0].[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Sounds like jazz - you have to listen to the notes I'm not playing

Anyway - some authors take a different approach. I come from the [iost_uid0]Marc School of Fiving[/iost_uid0], so I see the scenes as having to be short, concise with a single punchline.

Some authors take a more situational humor approach, the scene isn't necassarily focused on a single punchline, but the characterisation and actions are what's funny.

You can take any of a different number of approaches - I just prefer the single, 3 line [iost_uid0]American Idol[/iost_uid0] joke. It explains what esentially goes on in the scene - Morpheus tell Neo about the world he lives in now (it may not mention the Matrix - but people can fill in the gaps on their own) and it's hilarious. Of course, I've always been a big fan of Derek's work, so I do have a little bias.

At any rate - I would say the problem is the disision of a legnth of this fiver, not more ideas. I'm not one to stiffle creativity - if you thing you got a better idea for this scene, love to hear it - but maybe if we don't have any of those ideas - let's not throw them out there if we're just doing it to jumpstart the discusion.

This is my suggestion for a longer scene:

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] The world as you knew it exists now only as part of a neural-interactive simulation that we call the Matrix.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Ugh, I've been playing SimCity far too long.
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] You mean Artificial Intelligence?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.

I suggest just the last half for a shorter scene.[/colorost_uid0]