[Zeke]

Much appreciated from you both, but I can't help recalling my favourite scene from David Gerrold's novelization of "Encounter at Farpoint"....

Picard cleared his throat. "Stardate 41150.7. Captain's log. First entry: These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before. Entry complete."

Picard looked around at his officers. Their faces were beaming. Abruptly, they applauded.

Picard was embarrassed, and held up a hand to stop them. "Belay that until we do something worthy of applause."

I've barely kept this site alive in the last year, and I've been too proud to turn things over to someone who would do better. I've done nothing to keep you, and a number of you even feel I've done something to drive you away. I've been coasting -- not just at 5MV, but in every single area of my life -- for a long time, and more flagrantly every year.

The good news, such as it is, is that I can't do it anymore. Coasting takes momentum, and no matter how much you start with, sooner or later you run out. Recent events on- and offline have made it very clear to me that I've finally reached the end; my current attitude can get me this far, and absolutely no farther. If I want to keep being a user, a liar, a leech, then I can. But I won't get anything more from life than I have now.

I've admitted all this now, and I'm working to turn my life around. I'm determined to start deserving your and others' thanks again. To "do something worthy of applause."

But right now? No. I'm the one who needs to thank you. Because you know what kind of person I am, how little you gain from supporting me -- and you're still here. I'm not worthy, but I'm truly grateful.