CRUSHER: Well, the broadest scientific definition might be that life is what enables plants and animals to consume food, derive energy from it, grow, adapt themselves to their surroundings and reproduce.
I'm still a little curious about this whole thing where bacteria are clearly alive but we're still iffy on viruses.
A big problem is the inclusion of "plants and animals". Data is alive. The Crystalline Entity is alive. Q is alive, and I'm not sure you can put him in the category of "animal."
Dave Barry once said that life is anything that dies when you step on it.
One broader definition that I like is that life is something that decreases local entropy. Base nutrients are rebuilt into something much more complex. The randomness of a pile of food is much greater than the cells and simpler molecules that a lifeform turns it into.
DATA: What about fire?
CRUSHER: Fire?
DATA: Yes. It consumes fuel to produce energy, it grows, it creates offspring. By your definition, is it alive?
CRUSHER: Fire is a chemical reaction. You could use the same argument for growing crystals, but obviously we don't consider them alive.
Fire does not create offspring because offspring are by default simpler versions of the parents with the built-in potential to become as complex as their parents. A life-form is not ONE chemical reaction, it's millions of them that are kept in order by genetic code.
Likewise there is no "code" to crystal formation, just a series of molecules that can link with each other uniformly relatively easily because of their molecular geometry.
DATA: And what about me? I do not grow. I do not reproduce. I am considered to be alive.
Plenty of lifeforms are sterile and yet are still alive. And Data is missing the point about growing. He's growing in mental capacity all the time, it's just his body that's static.
CRUSHER: Data, if I may ask. Have a seat. What exactly are you getting at?
DATA: I am curious as to what transpired between the moment when I was nothing more than an assemblage of parts in Doctor Soong's laboratory, and the next moment, when I became alive. What was it that endowed me with life?
A jolly good question. One could argue that it's his capacity to grow that makes him alive.
FARALLON: I created the exocomps to be tools. And there is a big difference between Data and a tool.
DATA: Doctor, there is a big difference between you and a virus, but both are alive.
Exactly.
CRUSHER: If they are intelligent life forms, we have no right to force them to work for us.
FARALLON: That's like me telling you not to use your tricorder.
CRUSHER: Tricorders aren't alive.
FARALLON: Neither are exocomps.
Ugh. Assuming failure of a hypothesis before it is tested predisposes you to conclude failure. You demand extraordinary proof. On the other hand, if you assume a hypothesis is true and try to prove falseness you will find conclusive evidence much easier.
DATA: I see no other possible explanation.
CRUSHER: The exocomp didn't fail the test, it saw right through it.
Good job, exocomp!
WORF: Can we send a shuttlecraft to evacuate them?
FARALLON: We'd never get there in time.
I find this dubious. It would make sense to have one shuttlecraft equipped to latch onto a hull, create a pressurized seal, and cut through the hull for evacuation. Who cares about the hole in the hull when the entire station is about to be destroyed?
DATA: Then let me offer an alternative. Transport me to the station, I will attempt a complete manual shut down of the particle stream.
RIKER: The radiation levels are too high, even for you. Your positronic net would ionise in no time. I can't let you sacrifice yourself.
Come to think of it, why haven't they created a customizable exosuit for Data by now? He could easily reprogram his motor controls to interface with an exosuit's arms and increase his mobillity in extreme environments.
The Fiver
Captain's Log: We have arrived at Tyrus VIIA to evaluate an experimental particle fountain being developed to extract minerals from a planetary surface and lift them into orbit. Since the minerals are then to be sold to buyers on the surface and shipped back down on freighters, Starfleet has expressed some skepticism about the economic rationale for this project.
He he.
Farallon: No! We can repair it using this exocomp. It's a radical new kind of miniature maintenance robot that I've been working on.
La Forge: Doctor, you've already got your hands full with the particle fountain. You shouldn't be developing another type of experimental technology at the same time -- no matter how adorable this robot looks.
Farallon: I'm just covering all my bases. If the exocomps don't prove suitable for engineering applications, I figure I can always market them as really nifty children's toys.
The fiver was written in 2004. What toy crazes were around back then that we could've made a joke out of?
Data: Doctor, what is the meaning of life?
Crusher: Well, some people claim that we're just simply spiraling coils of replicating DNA, while others....
This is a reference to Monty Python's Meaning of Life. You haven't lived until you've heard
Eric Idle sing this line in a terrible French accent...
Data: Allow me to rephrase my question. Suppose you were to call a replicator an overgrown toaster and that, as a result, it never forgave you....
Obvious Voyager joke is obvious...
La Forge: If the exocomp leaves the tube in the next sixty seconds, we'll know for sure that Number Five is alive.
This is a Short Circuit Reference. I only know the movie from the Nostalgia Critic review.
Transporter Chief Kelso: Sir, I hate to interrupt your score-keeping, but could someone please give me the order to energize?
This episode was Kelso's only appearance. I wonder if they felt it was worthwhile to introduce a new transporter chief so soon after O'Brien left...
Farallon: I'd like to apologize for my earlier obtuseness. I now accept that the exocomps are alive and sentient.
Data: Thank you. Since you can no longer sell them as toys, and since the particle fountain has proved to be a failure, what will you now do with your career?
Farallon: I've decided to found an institute that will help the exocomps grow and learn. I think I'll call it, "Professor Xaviera Farallon's School for Gifted Machines."
Picard: Catchy name.
(The exocomps continue their evolution at Perspicacious Speed)
Xaviera? I was shocked to find out that this is a real name.
(The exocomps continue their evolution at Perspicacious Speed)
Perspicacious means having insight into things that aren't obvious. Did Marc use a synonym generator?
Memory Alpha
* Frakes wondered why the poker scene never had a payoff. I have to agree.
Nitpicker's Guide
* Way back in "Home Soil" Crusher gave a quite thorough definition of life. It seems she forgot it. Must've been a conk on the head while at Starfleet Medical...
* Usually exocomps dematerialize their tools when it's no longer needed, yet when it was important to leave the tool it did. Oops.
* 22 minutes isn't enough time to get a shuttle over there? Really?
* Phil declares that Data has proven that the exocomps are alive, but not that they're sentient. I think Phil's been doing pushups under a parked car again, as sentience was pretty obvious to me!
* Crusher says that growing crystals aren't alive, yet they met some back in "Home Soil". Oops.