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Old 11-07-2022, 01:12 AM
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October 19th, 1992, "Schisms"

Fiver by Kira

The Episode

LAFORGE: We've been testing a way of channelling warp energy directly to the main deflector grid. It should enhance the long range sensors.

What do the long-range sensors have to do with the deflector grid?

DATA: The modification would increase our sensor efficiency and imaging resolution by twenty five percent or more.

I'll accept the first part, but the second part is just nonsense. If you want to overclock the sensors I would just pump more power into the sensor arrays and slave more computer power to coordinating the sensors of probes sent into the Armagosa Diaspora.

LAFORGE: We'd channel it through the EPS mains on deck four, near Cargo bay four.

I know that this is setting up later events, but I still don't get why you would route power up to Deck 4 only to send it down to Decks 10 and 11 where the lateral sensors are.

DATA: That poem was written in anapaestic tetrameter.

Anapestic tetrameter means four anapestic metrical feet per lines. One foot has two unstressed syllables followed by a stressed syllable. Two notable examples are "The Night Before Christmas" and a lot of Dr. Seuss.

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

On the FIFteenth of MAY, in the JUNgle of NOOL,
In the HEAT of the DAY, in the COOL of the POOL.

DATA: Throughout the ages, from Keats to Jorkemo, poets have composed odes to individuals who have had a profound effect on their lives. In keeping with that tradition, I have written my next poem in honour of my cat. I call it Ode to Spot.

Original version, Doubleclicks version. Of course it also made a cameo in "A Fistful of Datas."

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature.
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.

Your meaningless bits of cat nomenclature trivia for the day:
Male-tom/tomcat if intact, gib if neutered
Female-queen if intact, molly if spayed
A group of cats is a clowder or glaring.

CRUSHER: Drink this before going to bed.
RIKER: What is it?
CRUSHER: A recipe for a warm milk toddy.

One recipe is like a vanilla milk with whiskey, another is milk with nutmeg, honey, and brandy. There's actually a blog post about what Aunt Adele's recipe would be.

If you want nonalcoholic warm milk, most recipes focus on vanilla, honey, and nutmeg as the additives of choice.

Don't ask for my personal preference. I'm with Neelix and Chakotay, warm milk sounds disgusting. If I want a warm beverage to make me sleepy I'll stick with apple cider, thank you.

LAFORGE: If you want to touch people, don't concentrate so much on rhyme and metre. Think more about what you want to say instead of how you're saying it.

I can't say that I agree with Geordi on this one. Poetry has to have structure, or else it's not poetry. By all means, bend the mold to avoid monotony, but throw out the baby with the bathwater.

RIKER: Could we pick this up in the morning, Geordi? Get a fresh start? Would you do me a favour? Stop by my quarters, oh seven hundred hours. I'm having trouble waking up.
LAFORGE: Sure, Commander.

Surely there are other alarm options from the computer available. Or at least replicate a mechanical alarm clock!

LAFORGE: Just before the grid alarm sounded, we were running warp power through this junction.

I presume that there aren't any warp plasma conduits in the saucer, so how is "warp power" different from the power from the impulse engines?

DATA: You are correct. Ninety two minutes, seventeen seconds have passed since you left the room.
LAFORGE: What have you been doing all this time?
DATA: I have no memory of events during that period. When we are finished here, I will perform a self-diagnostic.

Unless there's some time dilation nonsense going on in here a la the Mannheim Effect, I don't see how Data's perception of time can be affected in this case.

TROI: Well, you all remember a table, so let's start with that. Computer show me a table.
COMPUTER: There are five thousand forty seven classifications of tables on file. Specify design parameters.
TROI: Can you be more specific about the table? You mentioned it was smooth and cold. Can you remember what shape it was?
KAMINER: Long. It was long.
LAFORGE: Yeah, and it had a rectangular shape.
TROI: Computer, show me a rectangular conference table.

SF Debris was more forgiving of the culling process than I am. I get it, we can only allow so much screentime to this scene, but that doesn't make it any less of a plothole.

PICARD: Raise shields. And I want a level four security alert. I need to know if anyone comes on or off this ship.

Shouldn't that be the default?

CRUSHER: It looks as though your arm has been severed and then reattached.
RIKER: What?
CRUSHER: The skeletal structure in your radius and ulna is offset by point zero two microns. Your arm has been amputated then surgically reattached.

Like Chuck said, this is like knowing you're on the wrong planet because a grain of sand is missing. 0.02 microns is a tenth the length of a bacterium.

The Fiver

Data: And now for my forty-seventh poem. There was a Lieutenant named Yar, who was killed by a big ball of tar; she once lost her head, and took Data to bed -- which was more than a little bizarre.
Crew: Groooaaan.

It could be argued that Yar wanting to feel love was one of the least bizarre things in "The Naked Now."

Mott: What will it be today, Lieutenant? Shampoo? Shave? Highlights?
Worf: That would bring out my cheekbones....
Mott: You know what you need? A manicure.
Worf: Now you've gone too far.

One "t" in "Mot."

La Forge: Time flies when you're having fun.
Data: It does seem that the passage of time is accelerated when boring coworkers are absent.

I don't think Data would think of Geordi as boring.

Worf: Say, this table looks familiar.
La Forge: Oh my God! We were abducted by aliens!
Riker: I thought that only happened in cornfields.

I hope this wasn't a "Broken Bow" reference.

Nitpicker's Guide

* The exact location of Cargo Bay 4 varies depending on if you believe the dialogue or the Okudagrams.
* The "CONN panel" looks a lot more like the "OPS panel." Phil speculates that the stations have been reconfigured like the Tech Manual says that they can.
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