January 30th, 1993, "Captive Pursuit"
Fiver by Me
The Episode
* I don't understand the scene that implies that Quark sneaks fine print into the Dabo girls' contract saying that he can use them as sex objects. I know that Ferengi are by nature misogynists and that it's too early in the show for "hew-mon" morals to rub off on him, but he should know about Bajoran and Federation law. The Ferengi believe in knowing everything about anyone who could be a threat to their profits, and being in jail for harassment, assault, or human rights violations would certainly be a threat to profits.
SISKO: That was one of our patrol vessels. You've travelled almost ninety thousand light years.
I thought that this figure was an example of Early Installment Weirdness, but no better value of the distance covered by the wormhole exists. However, "Battle Lines" indicates that it would take 67 years at maximum warp to get back. That's faster than Voyager, which I kinda thought was designed to be a long-distance high-warp ship.
DAX: I think we might want to skip formal first contact procedures for now.
Come to think of it, why isn't there a dedicated First Contact team on board by now? Arrange trade of goods and technical knowledge, make formal contact with governments, etc.
TOSK: The coladrium flow has been damaged.
We'll later learn that the coladrium flow is kinda like the hydrogen plasma collected by a Bussard ramscoop. I don't like the use of a fictional element taking the place of something established just to sound alien.
I also don't like the Universal Translator only half-translating things if they're supposed to be able to connect the dots on universal ideas.
TOSK: How many live here?
O'BRIEN: Well, three hundred, more or less.
At least they're sticking to the series bible, although the idea of fifty permanent alien residents seems dubious at this point. How large is Quark's staff, anyway?
TOSK: Many ships dock here?
O'BRIEN: Five or six a week.
What? I'd expect five or six a week if there wasn't a wormhole. That should be in the dozens at the smallest.
O'BRIEN: You know, would you like to eat, take in sustenance?
TOSK: Liquid nutrients are stored in plasmic fibres throughout my body.
One wonders if this stuff is anything like ketracel white.
O'BRIEN: I've noticed. Hey, barkeep!
QUARK: Don't call me barkeep. I'm not a barkeep.
You're not? That's news to me. If anything I would expect Quark to complain about how "barkeep" is completely inadequate to describe what he is.
O'BRIEN: They're bombarding us with some kind of radiation I've never see before. Very rapid magnetic flux variations.
(Whumph as the shields go down)
O'BRIEN: What the? They've reversed the polarity of our shields.
What? Even my expertise in Treknology can't come up with a explanation for this one. At best I could say that these guys have the tech to scan everything about a shield's waveform and create an "anti-waveform" to cancel it out. But that's not "reversing the polarity".
HUNTER: In the future, passage through the anomaly will be considered out of bounds for the hunt. Will that satisfy you?
Actually, it kinda should. The Federation can't enforce their laws in non-Federation space.
I'd write a screed comparing these guys to the Hirogen, but I'm not in the mood.
Memory Alpha
* One of the creators says that the Tosk and the Jem'Hadar were created by the same people (probably not the Dominion if true).
The Fiver
Sarda: Quark hit on me.
Sisko: I am not surprised. I'll make sure that --
Dax: A damaged ship is coming through the wormhole!
Sisko: Thank goodness, a real plot.
Slice of life stories can be done well, but this scene was not done well. There's no punishment for Quark and Sarda never appears again. I don't think Quark trying to sexually harrass his employees comes up again until "Profit and Lace."
O'Brien: His ship was shot up. He's not telling us everything.
Sisko: Go fix his ship anyway.
O'Brien: Sure, it's not like I have a whole station to maintain or anything.
In retrospect this punchline seems weak.
Tosk: Computer, show me the weapons.
Computer: Here they are, along with the fastest way to get there.
Tosk: Thanks.
Computer: It's a slow week; we're all desperate for some action.
Tosk: I know how you feel.
I wonder why I don't write self-aware computer scenes more often. And this was a slow week for DS9.
O'Brien: Why do I still feel responsible for him?
Sisko: Because you're stubborn about sticking with your first impressions, because he's blatantly playing you for sympathy, or because it's your episode, take your pick.
If I wrote this today there would've been an O'Brien punchline at the end, probably including a game show reference.
Sisko: Let's go shoot them up. We haven't used up our stunt budget yet. Starfleet Command keeps telling me to use it or lose it.
I don't like this punchline now. Hopping back and forth over the fourth wall is easy to mess up, and I messed up in this case.
Nitpicker's Guide
* Phil wonders if everyone gets free repairs, or just Gamma Quadrant visitors. A good point, presumably the Bajoran government would want to make some money from the station to help rebuild.
* In "Emissary" they say the wormhole went 70,000 light-years. I have less trouble with this one, the estimate in that episode was based on preliminary scans in unfamiliar space. No doubt by now they've had time to do a more thorough job finding known stars to triangulate.
* Phil also complains about Universal Translator inconsistencies.