[Sa'ar Chasm]

My dad always says not to waste time worrying. That's easy when your biggest worry is a random inspection by the FSPCA, but I had just gambled the entire Federation on a forgery. Hm, maybe Dad should have been worried about that too. Anyway....
Sisko: Well, Senator? How did --
Vreenak: (holding up the data rod) CONNNNNNNNNNN!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It all started with the casualty list. Every Friday I have to post the latest "Sucks To Be These Casualties" notice from Starfleet.
Bashir: It's all because of those green-blooded Romulans!
O'Brien: You said it. If they didn't turn a blind eye and a pointed ear to the Jem'Hadar crossing their territory....
It was then that I reached a decision: whatever it took, I would convince the Romulans to either enter the war or round off their ears.

*snicker*

Dax: I demand to see proof!
Sisko: Blast, you're right. How can we prove the Dominion is --
Dax: No, proof that you could take down the guards. What's your THAC0?

D&D reference. I highly approve, especially since it's 2nd Ed.

Kira: (over the comm) Sorry to wake you, Captain, but we just got word that Betazed fell to the Dominion.
Sisko: Betazed? I'm going back to sleep. Call me if they get Vulcan.

*znerk*

Worf: It was an easy victory. The Tenth Fleet was distracted by a planet with shiny rings, and by the time the Betazoid leaders were finished discussing their feelings about the Dominion's arrival, the whole planet was conquered.
Sisko: Damn! We've got to turn this war around before... what's all that noise?
Kira: Odo's holding a "So Much For Lwaxana Troi" party.
Worf: He is? I'm so there!

I love this scene for some many different reasons.

Quark: Sure. Let's talk about all the charges I'm going to press. Man, I'm gonna be pressing charges like an Orion pirate. You couldn't press more charges with an industrial charge-presser. It'll be like the Charge of the Press Briga--
Sisko: I get the picture. So... um. Well. What if... money?
Quark: First bribe, huh?
Sisko: Does it show?

This one, too.

Garak: I've found a seller, but he wants to be paid in bio-mimetic gel.
Sisko: What? That stuff is more dangerous than antimatter radiation! Or talking about it, even!
Garak: I'm afraid he wouldn't budge on this point, Captain. It's bio-way or the highway.
Sisko: Groan. Why can't we just give him some of Odo?

There's plenty more Odo where that bit came from. Although...if he doesn't eat or drink, how does he make more goo?

Vreenak ranted that it's only okay for the Romulans to lie to us, not the other way around. I can't believe we agreed to that clause in the Treaty of Algeron. He took off and the Federation would have been cosmically hosed, but two days later....
Worf: Oh no -- the Dominion just destroyed some Romulan senator's ship!
O'Brien: Worf, that's great news! It may get them on our side!
Worf: Oh, hey, you're right. I hadn't really thought past somebody other than me getting to kill Romulans.

Classic Zeke scene.

I liked the chorus line of Troll dolls, and the tables for the running scorecard.