[Opium]

Part 5: ie, The End

* When we last left off, the forumgoers had the 3 Voices trapped in their motel room. But then…Voice 4 was heard! What could this mean? And now…*

Voice 5: But first, here’s a break to talk about sponsors.

*lights in the motel are put back on, with a spotlight on Voice 5, who is none other than…Opium!*

Voice 5, that is, Opium: Yes, that’s right. You’ve all fallen into the plan to bring you great ideas for reading, writing, and thinking! My first recommendation is that you read some Agatha Christie mysteries. Next is go see some summer plays around your area!
Summer stock theatre: Bringing you weird people since Plato. Next, watch some CSI and Lost. They rule. Don’t forget to read national and international newspapers; you need to get your world news! And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Stripysox: That sounds interesting.
MaverickZer0: Is it just me, or does it seem like there are forumers responsible for this?
Opium: We should go after the other voices now.

*blank stares*

Opium: “Now” means the opposite of “soon”.
*realization dawns that the forumgoers*
NeoMatrix: Barney did it!
Asky: I knew it!
KillerGM: AHA! I knew it all along!
Opium: That Voice 5 was just a red herring?
Alexia: *cough*
Opium: What? Oh, right, the 4 other voices…

*the forumgoers go to the other motel room, where PHJ is still guarding the door. They open the door and find…*

TopHatMan: *wearing a Canucks hat* Help! Josie, TopHatWoman and Karl have kidnapped us!
Danieldoof: in our language version he is from Switzerland…
John: We thought with the eTrektion coming you’d forgotten us and were going to let us be kidnapped by these wackos!
Josie: You felt forgotten? What about us? We’re the ones really forgotten!
Karl: Yah. TopHatMan is seen in avvies and sigs! John dies all the time! Seko is a SigKitty! But us…we’re just truly forgotten. And now we’ve had to watch you three whine that you’re having to compete with the eTrektion. But we’re forgotten almost totally!
PHJ: gosh, I wonder why.
Josie: And so, we kidnapped Seko, TopHatMan, and John!
Karl: Wouldn’t one of you take us on? Please?
KillerGM: Seeing as I hate both... NO.
Josie: Yah, well, we weren’t asking you!
Opium: You know, I forgot to add in some forumgoers, as they are relatively new. How about in the spirit of the moment, we introduce them!

*whoiam walks into the motel patio area*

whoiam: Join me

*PG15, evay, and Kristina walk into the motel patio area*

PG15: Indeed.
Kristina: Ah, I'm in good company
evay: hee hee hee I love metafiction.

*mudshark pops in with more pie*

Opium: mudshark, we’re at an important emotional plot point!
Mudshark: oops, you’re right. It won't happen again. Probably.

*mudshark leaves the pie, and then leaves. Katy Jane takes a piece*

Katy Jane: Its fluffy chocolate!
NAHTMMM: And hooray for random cameos!
Josie: Hey! Remember us? We kidnapped your beloved forum characters?

Voice 4: Anyone remember me? *in walks not a person, but…some dude in an eTrektion costume* I want attention! *takes off costume and it’s* I’m Evil Future Guy. Everyone forgot me, but I didn’t forget me! So I did this ingenious plan of kidnapping Josie, TopHatWoman and Karl from their respective times, brought them here, made them feel forgotten, and then had them kidnap Seko, TopHatMan and John from some boring point in the future when they would be forgotten about also, so that everyone would feel long forgotten.
Scooter: About ten years ago?
Chancellor Valium: Ohh, the illogic!
Richardson: "nough said on the topic of time travel right there.

Zeke: *pops in* My world is shaken. *pops out*

Opium: So everyone liked this adventure?
Admiral Sab: It's just missing something
Opium: Huh. Interesting. But we now know that the answer to the question, “if a forgotten character yells in a forest, does it make sound”.
Kristina: In a way, it did. It also dealt far too much with the backstory overall and far too little with current happenings, in my opinion anyway.
Xeroc: A truly great retrospective
Opium: Backstory? Current happenings? Retrospective? Are you even talking about this story, or are you being misquoted?
Alexia: I guess that could happen in the next book.
Hotaru: I think you've earned a little vacation
Opium: I’m going to Disneyland…wait, no I’m not.

*Cue blackout*
*nothing happens*

Narrator: I said, cue blackout!
Opium: When you say, “cue blackout” it gets cued up. You have to insert “go” instead of “cue” for it to actually happen.
Narrator: Uh. Okay then.

*GO*
*again, nothing happens*

Opium: No, no, no, you have to say what has to go!
Narrator: I said go!
Fuyu_Ginga: Therefore he would technically be correct, wouldn't he?
Opium: No, he would not. He must say “Blackout go” for it to go!

*blackout*

Narrator: Hey, I wanted to say it!
Opium: Wait! Wait! Light back up!

*lights go back up*

Scooter: One final bizarre note…
Opium: I forgot to add this…so since because this is a timetravel episode, there are other copies of all the forum characters travelling around, and obviously I cloned them all to get them in this story anyways, there are multiple copies of the forum characters running around. Just wanted to clarify.

*Blackout*

The End. For now.