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ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship
10. Reprogram the transporters to materialize only the heads at the end of transport. After you've taken over the ship, use them for soccer practice.
9. Construct a really sexy hologram to distract Riker. Make sure she speaks French, too, just in case Picard is around as well.
8. Code Name: Jellicoe.
7. Step one: Kidnap Data. Step two: When the entire crew beams down to look for him and Dr. Beverly is left in command, send in your best sexy Trill ghost and the ship will be yours.
6. Reprogram the replicators to dispense Chamomile instead of Earl Grey.
5. All screens and monitors display only "Baywatch" reruns.
4. Tell Bun-Bun that "Starship Enterprise" is a previously unknown holiday.
3. Popularize a holodeck novel in which participants engage in the day-to-day operations of a Galaxy-class starship, and wait for the crew to all get stuck in it without realizing it.
2. Beam the senior staff down to a Star Trek convention. When they die of humuliation, take over the ship.
And The Number One Way to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship
1. Hey--instead of stealing it, why not just replicate one?
Next, in honor of Pi Day: Top Ten Favorite Pies from the Neelix Cookbook[/color
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