Dukat's Top 10 Fantasies About Spiting/Humiliating/Hurting Ben Sisko
10. "Ah yes, Commander Si--You're not Commander Sisko, you're his father, Jenjavivvle I believe. I wish to speak with the
real commander, Jake. ...What do you mean, you're still the commander? Hasn't Starfleet realized yet that young untrained mischievous Jake is already twice the commander you'll ever be?"
9. Photoshopping a Pah-wraith's face onto Ben Sisko's body and sending the picture to all the tabloids he can think of
8. Hacking into Sisko's computer and programming it to do nothing but show replays of Cincinnati Bengals games whenever he requests anything baseball-related
7. Sending him one of those gag mirrors for his birthday. You know, the ones that shatter the glass when they detect their intended recipient is trying out the mirror.
6. Tricking Sisko into taking the losing side of a bet, then making him wear a clown costume complete with funny nose and floppy shoes for a week as payment
5. "Yo' poppa's a short-order cook!"
4. Sending a crack team of commandos to paint Cardassian symbols all over the
Defiant eight hours before the stiff admiral arrives for the station inspection
3. "Benjamin Sisko, you are the most pathetically honest, upstanding, principled Starfleet officer I have
ever seen!"
2. Show up in the Cardassian equivalent of a wimpy shuttle and challenge him to a race (BEFORE the
Defiant is assigned to the station of course
)
1. "Commander Sisko, I demand to speak with you--oh, hello. Admiral Gullible, is it? I was just going to ask Mister Sisko here about that marvelously cunning coup he's planning against you, but that can wait..."
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