[Nate the Great]

October 13th, 1967, "The Apple"

The Fiver (by Kristina)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

MCCOY: It's a shame to have to intrude.
KIRK: Well, the last scout ship reported some pretty strange sensor readings. Starfleet wants it investigated and the inhabitants contacted. We do what we're told.

Why is our crew here? I thought the Prime Directive was very clear about this stuff. I'll buy that holographic duckblinds haven't been invented, but shouldn't there at least be a trained team of specialists coming along? Maybe paint a shuttlecraft to look like clouds and just fly around conducting scans (I know, I know, special effects budgets...)?

SCOTT: We're losing potency in our antimatter pods. I don't think it's serious, but we're looking into it.

I don't think antimatter loses "potency". It almost sounds like the containment fields are losing strength, but that is certainly "serious"!

SCOTT [OC]: I'm not sure, sir, but we've run measurements on the electromagnetic field of the planet, and they are a wee bit abnormal. That might have something to do with it.

SCOTT: We can't make transporter contact, sir. The entire system's inhibited. The way it is now, we couldn't beam up a fly.

Okay, the EM field of the planet is blocking the transporter, fair enough. So why do the antimatter pods have to be any part of this?

KIRK: Scotty, you're my Chief Engineer. You know everything about that ship there is to know. More than the men who designed it.

I'm reminded of when a hologram of Leah Brahms knew more about the E-D than Geordi. That was stupid, wasn't it?

KIRK: Discard the warp drive nacelles if you have to, and crack out of there with the main section, but get that ship out of there!

So saucer separation was possible with the Constitution-class, but I assume that in this case it was something you could only do once. We'll be coming back to this.

MCCOY: I just ran a thorough check on the natives, and there's a complete lack of harmful bacteria in their systems, no decalcification, no degeneration of tissue, no arteriosclerosis. In simple terms, Jim, they're not growing old, and I can't begin to tell you how old they are, twenty years or twenty thousand years.
KIRK: I see. Opinion.
SPOCK: Quite possible. It checks with my atmospheric analysis. Their atmosphere completely negates any harmful effects from their sun.
KIRK: Add to that a simple diet, a perfectly controlled temperature, no natural enemies, apparently no vices, no replacements needed.

I still think that it's impossible to completely negate aging, in opposition to CGP Grey. And along those lines, how can you completely prevent criminal behavior or insanity? Does Vaal detect the seeds of imperfection and immediately kill those who could escape his control? Wouldn't you need a "replacement" in that case?

MARTHA: You know, if it weren't for Vaal this place would be a paradise.

Wait for the Nitpicker's Guide entry on this line later.

SPOCK: If we do what it seems we must, in my opinion it will be in direct violation of the non-interference directive.
KIRK: These are people, not robots. They should have the opportunity of choice. We owe it to them to interfere.

Again, why are our heroes here in the first place?

KIRK: You'll learn to care for yourselves, with our help.

Yikes. Haven't you poked enough holes in the Prime Directive already today? Even if this culture wasn't evolving, even if you presume that Vaal was an external influence that needs removal according to the PD, now there's no influence except for you, Kirk! Get out of here!

The Fiver

Spock: Underground vibrations in all directions.
McCoy: Jim, I told you to be more careful when you walk.

Ah, Shatner's weight jokes. Why do those seem a little more tasteless than toupee jokes?

Akuta: Behold Vaal.
Spock: Tricorder scans indicate that Vaal is a machine made from a compound consisting of glue and paper.
McCoy: Papier maché?
Kirk: Nice name for a girl -- let's go meet her. I haven't had a chance this week.

Okay, Vaal was probably made of fiberglass, but how do you get from fiberglass to papier mache?

Memory Alpha

* FOUR redshirt deaths. FOUR! What were four redshirts doing on this mission anyway?
* First appearance of Koenig in his own hair and not the pseudo-Beatles wig.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil points out that this is hardly paradise, because even without Vaal there are poisonous dart plants and exploding rocks. Or are you going to tell me that Vaal made those to ensure that the villagers don't wander too far? You'd certainly need "replacements" if that happened!
* Spock is certainly tougher than a human. In one day he got hit by poison darts, hit by lightning, and ran into a forcefield without injury or complaint.