Here is the full info for the Morphine (or Grand New Union)
Party Chancellor
Chancellor Valium
cringe909@hotmail.com
Party Dudess:
Opium
boredbored1@hotmail.com
Party Members:
KillerGodMan
Mr_Kyle_theevil@hotmail.com
NeoMatrix
taylorbarlow@hotmail.com
Party Platforms:
My party platform is as follows:
-Enterprise will be more like the superior Treks: DS9 and TNG.
-Archer will shave his head
-Archer will notice Porthos is lonely, and adopt a wirehaired dachsund.
-I will do my best to contract Eric Szmanda and Noah Wyle into guest-starring roles.
-Since James Marsters and Nicholas Brendon aren't doing much these days, and used to be on UPN, I will offer them standard long-term contracts to reprise their Buffy roles.
-Out with the Alien Nazis, in with the Vamps with Soul and Lovable Funny Guy
-Better props...the retro-future look is fun!
-Better costumes...less blue-grey, more sophisticated black, green, pink, and yellow!
My secondary platforms are as stated:
Enterprise needs strong leadership and more Evil Future Guy!
Enterprise needs more appropriate times for Trip to take off his shirt.
Enterprise needs more tention between Trip, T'Pol and Archer.
Enterprise needs Archer to date Hoshi.
Enterprise needs Hoshie to date Mayweather, and him to date her back.
sensible timelings and more concerned with action.
(I think this is stuff that Opium wants to do....)
Alien Nazis plotline is to be replaced with Spike!
demand more space combat Star Trek games, introduce the Lyrans and Hydrans to the screen, add way more fun CGI battles, and my most radical change: Make Zaphod Beeblebrox President of the Federation. I shall have a new series for all the annoying characters, and move them all there. It shall be called Star Trek: All the Annoying Ones Who Get In The Way On One Starship Together Having Massive Rows, or ST:AOWGITWOOSTHMR -and also a series for all the good characters we like, called Star Trek All the Good Character Who Do Stuff And Aren't Annoying On One Ship Not Having Massive Rows, or ST:AGCWDSAAAOOSNHMR
And finally, a series all about data, called Star Trek: Datafile, where he commands a starship into the middle of nowhere and waits for a passing asteroid to destroy the ship. Crew: 2. Him and Wesley Crusher. Finally, I shall get crossovers made which aren't just crossover-fests!
Actually, scrap that thing about Blake's Seven. If you don't vote for me, I'll put Wesley Crusher on the NX-01!
will also remove all current forms of computer in Star Trek and replace them with Eddie, but only if it will give people a whole bundle of kicks, guys! Share and Enjoy!
Also, I will have Wesley Crusher killed at least once a season. He will only appear that once, and will have a slow, lingering death that will keep you riveted to your seat for 45 minutes! (With the occasional scene of various Star Trek crews making up excuses not to rescure him....including Beverly Crusher!
That if you DONT vote for me, I'll fill Enterprise with:
1) squitty child prodigy types (eg Wesley Crusher, Adric etc)
2) Mary-Sues.
And then replace the sets with ones that are gothic, and dark, made of MDF and day-glo pink nylon drapes, and have NO computer banks, and turn the entire load of main characters (excluding the child prodigies, mary-sues etc) into blathering idiots who will follow the crackpot suggestions of the child prodigies, mary-sues, etc.
If this isn't bad enough....I will also give to all my voters vast tracts of land, money, and a share of the profits from microsoft
- Excrutiatingly well paid multiple guest appearances (if wanted)
- Positions on the Board of Directors of Paramount
- Positions on the Council of Trek - a selection of worthy people who get to make important decisions about ST. (your worthiness is determined by your support for me.....)
- The chance to kill Wesley Crusher on tape
- The chance to kill android doubles of Wesley Crusher any time you want - comes with over 300 gallons of extra (uber-realisic) fake blood, and an armoury/torture chamber of diabolical weapons to use against them.
- A shiny Starfleet Command Dress Uniform
- A shiny sticker
- A tickle-me-Picard ()
- carbon-copies of Spock's eyebrows and ears
- too much Temporal Cold War/Conspiracy Theorems about the Vulcans, and the writers will be SACKED and replaced with BETTER writers.
- Every few months the writers will be SACKED and replaced with BETTER ones.....
- Brannon Braga and Rick Berman will be hired....as work-experience boys.....
- Annoying scenes which get in the way will be removed
- Anyone found to be obsessing about minor details on the programme, unless justified, will be SACKED..or worse, appear as redshirts....
- Pointless characters will, every few months, be put on a shuttle with Wesley Crusher and thrown to the Klingons as stress relievers...()
- I'm afraid the current Enterprise music has to go....its so irritating i can't bear it a moment longer....besides....its not very Star Trek-y...is it?
offer two versions of Enterprise - one for the kids - full of wholesome morality and four natural ingredients to make them healthy() and Enterprise for more....adult viewers.....full of gritty conspiracy theory, rampant sex and violence, and with a child prodigy being killed at least once per episode
The kids ENT will be on at 6:30 and be half as long as the adult one, starting at 8.30
I would like to add one more idea to the pile in our manifesto..... Anyone found creating discontinuity or revisionist history will be SACKED (it's been a major problem with Doctor Who, after all)
to hire some folks from CSI if they happen to get sacked again, even though CSI rocks! In fact, I promise that at least one ep a season will be a CSI crossover!
I promise that crossovers will not be fan****
Excess technobabble will be thrown off the edge of the earth (In the new series of ENT, something as-yet-undecided-but-definitely-bizarre will leave the Earth flat )
Opium and the Morphine Party re-affirms to will do away with (annoying, insulting, pathetic) Nazi Aliens!
Also, just because something explodes in Engineering will no longer mean that a random panel on the bridge will frikking explode as well, dammit!
Oh, and our new script writers are as follows:
Mr. William Shakespeare
Mr. P.G. Wodehouse
Mrs. Agatha Christie
Mr. Geoffrey Chaucer (his lines my rhyme and/or be in Middle Engelaush. Apologisey My Oon Ardvaunce.)
Plautus
Douglas N. Adams
Charles Dickens
Pliny (the letter writing one)
St. John of Patmos
Our composers (for incidental and Theme music):
William Byrd
Purcell
Tallis
Correllis (father and son)
Scarlattis (father and son)
Bachs (all of them)
G.F. Handel
Haydn
Brahms
Mozart
Beethoven
Holszt
Strauss (all of THEM)
Our Lady Peace
Norah Jones
Nickelback
Sum 41
Nirvana
Alanis Morressette
Abba
The Beatles
Nina (99 red battleships, floating through the Vulcan sky...)
Sarah McLachlan
Pink
And Laurence Olivier will now star as Captain Richard Archer the Third
"Ohhh
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday"
I think thats all. Whew. The last one's a joke, btw....
Oh! And don't forget! There will be a time travel 1920's one, where T'Pol Will try to dance the Charleston in a logical and Vulcan manner. Oh, and with Decorum...and Trip will sing "You're Driving Me Crazy" to her.
