Thread: So um?
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Old 09-04-2006, 01:18 AM
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You know, it boggles me how many times I've read negative reviews of the movie and all of the changes in it, and I still hate how many times I've read, "But Douglas Adams invented all of the new stuff!" All fine and good, and I have to admit that I liked the anti-thought paddles, but it still all smacked of reinventing the wheel. Granted, I wouldn't have wanted a shot-for-shot recreation of the series with new actors and better special effects, mainly because I think the appeal of h2g2 is in the writing and the acting, not the special effects. Remember that the Guide entries were a cartoon, not a computer display. The writing and the acting were just out and out BETTER in the series and the radio show. They could've put a new spin on the material of the older versions while still keeping the same spirit. Here are a few examples of things I liked about the movie that didn't detract from the material, and also could've fit within the older plotline:

1. In the commentary they said that Douglas approved replacing "so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea" using cellular telephones instead. Now, this line wasn't actually in the movie, but it would've been fine.
2. Bringing the Vogon jeweled scuttlecrabs and deer chairs in from the later books.
3. The looking towards the far wall and dropping through the floor into space I really liked.
4. Actually showing a flashback to the Ford Prefect car. They could've had the driver stick his head out and shout "you jerk, you almost scratched my Ford Prefect!" just to help the viewer understand the joke.
5. The lightsabre toaster knife I loved.
6. The Point-of-View gun. ("Hitchhikings' cool. Towels are cool, too!")

But the movie just dropped the ball on so much stuff. Here are just a few of the major questions that arose in my mind (and those of the critics) that would remain unanswered whether you saw the series before or not:

1. Why is Deep Thought on Magrathea, and why don't they tell us that Magratheans built planets until Arthur's actually there?
2. Why does Humma Kavula have a datacube with coordinates for a model of ship and drive that is completely brand-new?
3. How did the Vogons get to Earth Mark Two? It's in a tract of hyperspace within the planet of Magrathea! Is there some sort of cargo elevator, or did they all cram into one of those little crane cabs?
4. If the mice and Slartibartfast were going to resume the Earth program as it was five minutes before it's destruction, why not just stick Arthur in his house and turn it on, then WAIT five minutes?
5. Isn't Trillian necessary for the program, or was she a bit of unnecessary code?
6. For that matter, wasn't the destruction of Arthur's house a part of the program and thus necessary? Isn't an intact house an error that will skew the results?
7. If there are no Dentrassi, who beamed Ford and Arthur aboard?
8. For that matter, we get the impression that they were beamed into the room. So a transporter beam can get in, but Ford's Electronic Thumb, which can transmit a Guide entry halfway across the galaxy, can't get outside one ship?
9. Why would Deep Thought design a Point of View gun with a wide-angle ability? Isn't that tampering with entire societies, and not just idiot husbands?
10. Babel fish aside, how can Trillian read a document written in Betelgeusean, and how can a Vogon clerk read a form written in English?

These questions can be answered very easily, cheaply, and logically (Babel sunglasses anyone? ) but they don't even bother.
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