[Nate the Great]

January 5th, 1968, "The Gamesters of Triskelion"

Fiver (by IJD GAF)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

CHEKOV: Captain. what happened?
KIRK: It must be a transporter malfunction.
CHEKOV: That was a rough trip.

There's a question: Is the physical sensation of using all transporters the same? Putting aside Reg Barclay's impossible "I can see from inside the beam" phenomenon, would the initial scanners cause a distinct sensation on the skin, a distinctive sound, etc.? Because it sounds like they were stolen right off their own pad, like that fake Vulcan ambassador in "Data's Day."

CHEKOV: But Captain, if we're not on Gamma Two, then where are we?

Putting aside Q and the other super-advanced races, what species have we seen that have a transporter range that is sufficiently larger than normal? I wonder if another race could've perfected that subspace transporter that Bok had...

KIRK: We're officers of a United spaceship on Federation business.

The issue of what "USS" stands for has confused many, as TOS has used it for both "United Space Ship" and "United Star Ship". Cue series bible rant. Personally I like the fan theory that "space ships" are simply ships that can travel in space (Cyrano Jones, Harry Mudd, etc.), while "star ships" are at a completely different level. Star ships can go faster, farther, and do more things than simple space ships.

SPOCK: I've conducted two sweeps of the planet's surface. There is no sign of life.

I've long preferred the idea that different degrees of scans of a planetary surface take different amounts of time. A few seconds can find major power sources, communications nodes, etc. so the ship has something to hail. A few minutes can do slightly more detailed charts of the infrastructure, extrapolate populations, etc. You'd need a few hours to get everything including precise population figures and species differentiation of such. No doubt Spock's been going over this place with the fine-tooth comb. (Cue Spaceballs joke)

MCCOY: It's been nearly an hour. Can people live that long as disassembled atoms in a transporter beam?
SPOCK: I have never heard of a study being done, but it would be a fascinating project.

Ha ha. Only forty years from now Scotty will have perpetual transporter buffering down (at least with a 50 percent mortality rate). I wonder if the work Spock started here in his spare time helped Scotty later.

SPOCK: I would welcome a suggestion, Doctor, even an emotional one, as to where to look.
MCCOY: First time you've ever asked me for anything, and it has to be an occasion like this.

Gotta love Bones.

SPOCK: Projecting back along the path of ionisation, the nearest system is M two four alpha.
SCOTT: That must be two dozen light years away.
SPOCK: Eleven point six three zero.
MCCOY: Are you suggesting that they could have transported over a distance of...

Only twelve light years? Q would call that the proverbial walk down the road to the chemist, but it's just peanuts to--Yes, I am hooked on that line, why do you ask?

KIRK: You don't think or do anything but what the Providers tell you.
SHAHNA: What else would one do?
KIRK: Love, for one thing.
SHAHNA: What is love?
KIRK: Love is the most important thing on Earth. Especially to a man and a woman.

How many women has he taught the meaning of "love" to? He's got quite the harem, doesn't he? Maybe I should dig out my copy of Captain Kirk's Guide to Women...

SHAHNA: I have never seen them, but they are said not to be like us. They stay in
(Her collar lights up, and Kirk holds her tight while she writhes in pain.)
KIRK: Stop it. Stop it! I'm responsible! I made her talk! Stop it! You're killing her! She did nothing wrong! It was my fault. If you want to punish someone, punish me! Please.
ONE [OC]: Is that what you humans call compassion? It is interesting, but it has no value here.

You have to like this. Kirk is outright manipulating this woman to get her to help him, but he still cares about her safety. After all, this is all that she knows, so how can she know that she's doing immoral things?

SPOCK: I see. (pause) Gentlemen, I am in command of this vessel, and we shall continue on our present course. (conspiratorial whisper) Unless it is your intention to declare a mutiny.
SCOTT: Mister Spock!
MCCOY: Who said anything about a mutiny, you stubborn, pointed-eared...

It's nice to see that while Bones doesn't agree with this decision, he still respects Spock. We don't see that much these days, do we?

TWO [OC]: (pulsing green) Once we had humanoid form, but we evolved beyond it.

But I thought that evolving beyond human form meant turning into giant salamanders...obligatory "Threshold" joke aside, I can't imagine "evolving" from humanoid to just a brain. That's silly. Just say that the race focused on intellectual pursuits and direct input of entertainment to such a degree that it became more efficient to just take out their brains and hook them up to machines.

SHAHNA: Goodbye, Jim Kirk. I will learn, and watch the lights in the sky, and remember.

I vaguely remembered that there was another story with her, so I looked it up. The story "The Lights in the Sky" from the first Strange New Worlds anthology features one, where she tries to meet Kirk on Earth.

The Fiver

Galt: I am Galt, the stiff and unemotional head thrall. You may notice my striking similarity to people like Al Gore or Chakotay.

Reminds me of one of my favorite Al Gore jokes from the "Jetrel" fiver...
Neelix's Dream: I am allegorical.
Al Gore: And I am Al Gore.
Neelix: Aahh! What a nightmare!

Lars: I'm your drill thrall, Lars. I follow a line of great Larses, such as Lars Ulrich.
Uhura: But he's a prick.
Lars: And that detracts from my statement how?

One of my favorite joke formats: the "you said something that you think contradicts my statement but in fact reinforces it" gag.

Kirk: See you around, Shahna.
Shahna: You don't really mean that, do you?
Kirk: Nah.

At least he's honest.

Memory Alpha

* Takei is still away filming The Green Berets, so Chekov gets a few more lines. He regrets not being able to be in this episode.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Another Captain's Log made without any mechanism around to record it. I wish Phil would just cave in and admit that these things are being recorded after the fact and that Kirk would never actually die.
* On the other hand, Kirk adds a stardate not knowing exactly where or when he is. I admit that it'd be awkward if he pointed that out: "To the best of my knowledge it is Stardate X, but we may have been transported in time as well as space."
* More mixing of metric and imperial. You would've thought one of the scientific consultants would've requested sticking to one or the other.